A Knight of Shreds and Patches
Transcript: Episode 14: It's Not Goodbye
A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Episode 14: It’s Not Goodbye
Transcript by Nick & Cameron Robertson
Note: Zee-o is a synthetic humanoid being and primarily speaks in a robotic, monotone voice.
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of -
Drew: Drew Mierzejewski as Wyatt Fisher.
Aly: Aly Grauer as Zee-o.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is still your editor, but I do have a special message today:
I’m trans, as it turns out. We, in the show cast, have known for… quite some time, but transitioning is not exactly the swiftest of processes, and making things public is a rather… consequential affair. I am so happy that everything has finally fallen into place so that I can share this wonderful update with you. So I’m transfemme, currently she/her pronouns. For backlog listeners, you may already know me as my new name, through the power of editing and careful forward planning, in which case, welcome to a change in narrative voice. But, for live listeners, I have the enormous pleasure of introducing, for the first time, Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard.
And with that, we wrap up today’s special announcement and head into episode 14: It’s Not Goodbye. And so...
Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
Aly (as Zee-o): Last time on A Knight of Shreds and Patches, on the road to Eagle Hill, we set up camp for the night. Modem is with us. He said something about me being a six on his scale of some form of wavelengths. I do not understand. I helped Emma set up the tents. Wyatt took a break and played guitar. A lot of emotions were discussed. I do not understand those either, but I am trying.
Nick: The sun has set the darkness nestles around your campfire as dinner is concluded. You can hear the muffled clank of some sort of wild tech deep in the woods. [metallic clanking] But it doesn't seem to be aggressive or coming closer. The shattered moon is just peeking over the trees, and Wyatt grabs his guitar from behind him, idly strumming chords, adding to the mosaic of the evening. Modem stands and stretches with a groan.
Nick (as Modem): I'm tired from the journey.
Nick: He looks knowingly at the members of the Patina.
Nick (as Modem): I shall call it a night.
Nick: And he steps away from the fire and walks to where he's laid his gear by the wheel well of the truck, outside of the light.
Drew (as Wyatt): 'Night Modem.
Cameron (as Emma): Did you not want to go in the tent we set up for you? I mean, it's fine if you don't, but it is there and available.
Nick (as Modem): I shall... avail myself of your hospitality.
Nick: And so you see him dragging his heavy pack across the firelight and out the other side and towards the tent that's on the other side of the clearing.
Aly: Zee-o watches closely.
Sydney: Cassidy does not watch it all and just sighs deeply.
Drew: I feel like there's just this long moment where we hear the [Dragging Noise]
Cameron: [Laughs] Just the draaaaaging noise .
Nick: He stops halfway there. Takes a deep breath,.
Nick (as Modem): Well, goodnight.
Nick: And continues to drag the bag towards the tent.
Drew: Wyatt gets up and he's like,
Drew (as Wyatt): Here, let me help you.
Drew: [laugh] And he picks it up.
Nick (as Modem): No, no, that's okay. Oh, all right,
Drew: and puts it in the tent.
Drew (as Wyatt): Good night Modem.
Nick (as Modem): Good night, Wyatt.
Nick: The tent is one of those large canvas ones where the flaps fall down and you can tie them and you can hear each tie being tied carefully on the inside. And after about 45 seconds you hear gentle snoring.
Drew: Wyatt comes back to the fire. He stands there. He stands up nice and tall. He takes a deep breath in and goes,
Drew (as Wyatt): [deep inhale] Storms comin'. I can smell it. Should I play a little bit more before we gotta clean up everything? [pause] I'll play a little bit more.
Aly (as Zee-o): Wyatt.
Drew (as Wyatt): Yes?
Aly (as Zee-o): Do you know any other songs?
Drew (as Wyatt): Well, I'm really good at this one. Uh-
Aly (as Zee-o): You are good at this one.
Drew (as Wyatt): Do you want to try?
Drew: And he holds out the guitar.
Aly: Zee-o stares at it then takes it tentatively with delicate nimble fingers, holds it awkwardly for a moment while looking at it and then shifts it into a proper position to play.
Drew (as Wyatt): Alright, go ahead. Play.
Aly: Zee-o tilts the neck of the guitar and begins to play. And at first its runs and riffs and nimble fingerpicking show off for fun. And then it suddenly settles into a lush, beautiful rich take on a Billie Holiday song - I'll Be Seeing You - one of those deep covers where it's so melodic and it's so beautiful on just one instrument. But it has such emotion behind it that you almost miss which song it is, until the familiar notes of the melody sneak in.
Drew (as Wyatt): Well damn.
Sydney: Yeah, Cassidy's watching and squinting at Zee-o's hands, because she has been around musicians a long time, in a past life. And she goes,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Zee-o, when did you learn to play?
Aly: Zee-o doesn't answer until the verse and the chorus have completed, and they hit a chord which holds and sustains, and then they look up across the fire at Cassidy.
Aly (as Zee-o): It is a part of a program that I downloaded.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Downloaded from where? When?
Aly (as Zee-o): I do not know.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Because I don't know that song, and I spent a lot of time in Mellow Tone. I've heard a lot of songs.
Aly (as Zee-o): You do not know it?
Sydney (as Cassidy): No.
Drew (as Wyatt): I mean I've I've heard that melody, but that's a really old song we used to play back in Puget. We used to play it at funerals.
Aly (as Zee-o): It is sad.
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah... [chuckles] You know, last time I heard that song... goodness it's been a while.
Aly: Zee-o looks down at the guitar and their hands, and doesn't play anymore but just sort of considers.
Nick: Thunder rumbles somewhere deep beyond the trees.
Aly (as Zee-o): Wyatt.
Drew (as Wyatt): Yes?
Aly (as Zee-o): Do you know any other songs or should I try another?
Drew (as Wyatt): I think I know another song.
Aly: Zee-o tips their head slightly, as though to say, "really?" and then they reach across and they hand the guitar back to Wyatt.
Drew: Wyatt begins to pick a sad song. It's a cross between Blackbird and Claire de Lune. And it begins to play it. And he goes,
Drew (as Wyatt): Last time I played this, [sighs] it was for Pallie, on a very sad day.
Sydney: Cassidy looks into the fire and rests her chin on her hand with her finger on her scar.
Cameron (as Emma): Wh-why was the day sad?
Drew: I feel like everyone turns and looks at Emma.
Drew (as Wyatt): Well, it was right around the time Pallie died. It was the last song she heard me play.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh. Uhm. I-y'all don't have to answer this question if you don't want to...
Aly (as Zee-o): Wyatt. You should tell the story.
Drew: Wyatt it looks around, and looks at Emma.
Drew (as Wyatt): You're the only one here that know it. Do you want to hear it?
Cameron: I am interested. But if you don't want to tell it and relive it, that's- I respect that. That's why I haven't asked. But I am curious.
Drew (as Wyatt): No, I respect that. I do. But um, it's a thing that happened. You should never be afraid to say about something that actually happened. It was raining that day and we had just had a tragic, tragic loss.
Nick: We cut to Wyatt looking a little less haggard. A little less gray.
Sydney: Does Wyatt have long hair at the time this happens?
Drew: Yeah, he does.
Nick: And we get a shot from the ground up. He's outlined by grey sky and thick raindrops. And he's giving a eulogy.
Drew (as Wyatt): She was the best of us. She pulled us along when we couldn't go any further. She was with me for more years than I could count.
Drew (as Wyatt): Oh God!
Rhi (as Pallie): [Sounds of exertion] Oh don't let me interrupt you. You keep on going Wyatt.
Rhi: Pallie crawls out from underneath the jeep holding some big scrap of metal in her hands and chucks it off to the side. The jeep is parked off to the side of the road, the rig parked behind it and the jeep, which as Wyatt said had carried them through so much of their journey, has finally reached the end of the line. It is smoking. It is tilted to one side in a way that a vehicle should not be. And Pallie has already started disassembling it for scrap.
Drew (as Wyatt): Pal! She's not even cold yet. You can't just wait five minutes let me finish this?
Rhi (as Pallie): It's easier to get it apart once it... You know what, fine. I'll just move this over here. You finish up with your funeral. [sigh]
Drew (as Wyatt): [huff] Well, I don't feel like it now. Gosh, the moment. Okay, look, look, look, look, everyone deserves a goodbye. Okay?
Rhi (as Pallie): It's not goodbye! The jeep is going to be reused and integrated into all of our things. I've got a spot picked out on the Knight for the grill. It's going to look great. And you know, the jeep will continue on with us just in a different form. A form that can't transport any of us anywhere.
Drew (as Wyatt): Fine, fine.
Drew: And we see Wyatt storm across to the rig, pull out the guitar, go over and play this really fast version of this sad song. He's like,
Drew (as Wyatt): There you go. Goodbye.
Drew: And he like [boom boom] He pounds his fist on the hood and we see the hood crack in. And he's like
Drew (as Wyatt): Ah shit. [angry grumbling]
Rhi (as Pallie): I'm pretty sure I can hammer that out. That'll be fine. Unless that part's more rust than metal at this point though anyway might not be able to get much out of it. [deep breath] All right.
Drew (as Wyatt): Iokua! Iokua!
Cameron (as Iokua): Wyatt. Wyatt, I am standing right here.
Drew (as Wyatt): You want to say anything?
Cameron: So Iokua is standing in front of the jeep, near where Wyatt was giving his eulogy, and is standing feet shoulder width apart, his hands resting in front of him. He's a large man with dark tan skin, long black hair that he currently has pulled up in a messy bun on the back of his head. He is incredibly well muscled, very chiseled, has a very charming and friendly face. Someone who you could really talk to, and he'd listen. And he's wearing black jeans, pretty muddy boots, given the weather. And has a long sleeve black t shirt and he's rolled up the sleeves on both arms and we can see some tattoos peeking out below his sleeve. He looks towards the jeep and nods his head solemnly.
Cameron (as Iokua): She was a good Jeep. She took us a long way. And we will never forget her. She will be with us as we continue forward and always will be in our hearts.
Rhi (as Pallie): And attached to the Knight.
Cameron (as Iokua): And attached to the Knight.
Rhi (as Pallie): And probably the rig and ...
Cameron (as Iokua): She will literally be with us on most of our machinery.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yes, yeah, that's that's the point that I'm...
Cameron (as Iokua): I'm just saying - she lasted longer than I thought she was going to, Pallie. And
Rhi (as Pallie): Yes.
Cameron (as Iokua): I feel it deserves some appreciation for getting us at least this far and for continuing to have use towards the future. So rest in peace jeep, or actually rest in pieces on our multiple other tech. Yeah.
Aly: I think at that point Zee-o comes around the corner holding two chunks of the jeep, one in each hand and goes
Aly (as Zee-o): Pallie, where do you want these?
Rhi (as Pallie): Oh, just put them in the bins in the back.
Aly (as Zee-o): Are you sure it is worth it?
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah! Can always find a use for that and if not, trade it to somebody who will.
Aly (as Zee-o): All right.
Aly: Zee-o drags these chunks of jeep back to the rig where they put them away.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, Iokua's got one thing right. I definitely will never forget her.
Sydney: And the camera pans over to look at Cassidy, and Cassidy's got her hair tied back with a blue bandana today, and also matching blue flowers because it's summer and there's lots of plants to pick from. But she's standing off to the side watching the proceedings.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You know, I spent a lot of time driving circles and driving circles and driving circles because this jeep wouldn't die. And I'm, I kind of would have been happier if it happened a little bit sooner. But you know, we have our star mechanic here.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah, well. Hung in there for a lot longer than I expected too. [sigh] Probably, as you said, maybe a bit longer than it should have. But, it will find a new purpose!
Rhi: Pulls out a wrench and starts unbolting something.
Drew (as Wyatt): Ya need a hand, Pal?
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah, sure. Um, maybe you and Iokua, get this on a jack, we can get the tires off. Save the rubber. That'll come in real handy.
Drew (as Wyatt): All right. Come on, Iokua. Let's get the jack and prop this sucker up.
Cameron (as Iokua): Yes, sir.
Drew: And I feel like we spend the next maybe like an hour or two, just stripping this buddy down to nothing. Like what's left?
Rhi: Basically just like the interior frame that we don't have the tools to break apart. The stuff that is just welded together so tight that with what Pallie has on hand, she can't break it down any further. But it is stripped. [laugh] Tires are off. Engine blocks out. Any metal from the exterior that we can pull off is gone. And I think it's just the frame is basically all that's left once we get it.
Nick: Yeah, so it's just the threadbare driver's seat with springs poking through what's left of the fabric and the steering column with no wheel attached, as it has been long lost. And that's what's left of the skeleton of the jeep.
Drew: There's that cool shot where we see the jeep broken down, and then it's just immediate wipe. It's the jeep in the same spot but just stripped to nothing. And we're all standing around going like ,
Drew (as Wyatt): All right. Hey, Cass.
Sydney (as Cassidy): What's up?
Drew (as Wyatt): How far to that outpost?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uhh...
Drew (as Wyatt): We gonna make it today?
Sydney (as Cassidy): It's another few hours.
Sydney: And Cassidy looks up at the sky trying to judge time when it's raining.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh-eh... maybe? If we're lucky.
Drew (as Wyatt): All right. Well, let's make our own luck then. Everyone in the rig. Let's go.
Rhi (as Pallie): Oh, this will be cozy.
Cameron (as Iokua): It's okay. We all like each other, right?
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah!
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah...
Nick: We get a shot, the rigs cab is fairly large. It's got two bucket seats in the front and a large bench in the back, and we get a shot through the windshield towards the Patina all stuck inside. Who's sitting where?
Cameron: I would like to be in the middle on the back bench because it doesn't make any sense.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I was imagining. Middle back for Iokua and then Zee-o and Cassidy smooshed [laugh] against the doors on either side. And then Wyatt driving and Pallie riding shotgun.
Nick: Iokua has got his arms thrown across the back of the bench and a giant smile on his face.
Aly: I feel like if anything Iokua is leaning more towards Zee-o, because Zee-o objectively doesn't need to be comfortable. And Cassidy was too squished. Like it starts with him in the middle and then gradually he just scoots further across the bench towards Zee because Cassidy is quietly shoving him over, like...
Sydney: Yeah, I think Cassidy ends up throwing her legs across his and is like,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I just- sorry, I don't have space. You'll just have to make some.
Cameron (as Iokua): But your legs are so short.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh, look at you big strong man taking up all the space.
Cameron (as Iokua): Yeah, I have long legs, Cassidy.
Aly (as Zee-o): For what it's worth. I do not require comfort.
Aly: Zee says folded in half on the other side. Their face pressed against the window. Like [laugh]
Nick: We get this in snapshots over the course of the drive. And each time one of these exchanges happens, Wyatt's head is further and further down between his shoulders as he's driving because they've been arguing this whole time.
Rhi: Pallie is just gazing out the window, tapping her fingers on the armrest to the beat of the song that Wyatt rushed through at the jeeps funeral. I think Pallie will also occasionally pipe up of like,
Rhi (as Pallie): Children. Don't make us turn this thing around.
Rhi: [laughs] And then has to stop and explain the joke to Zee-o.
Aly (as Zee-o): I am not a child.
Rhi (as Pallie): I it's a....
Aly (as Zee-o): Neither are they.
Rhi (as Pallie): It's it's a it's a joke.
Aly (as Zee-o): Unless I am mistaken.
Rhi (as Pallie): Nope it's....
Sydney (as Cassidy): Pallie! Iokua's in my space again. He's looking at me again.
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah Pallie, you did this to yourself.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah, I did. I really did.
Cameron (as Iokua): Don't worry Pallie I'm much more mature than Cassidy so I'm not going to participate.
Sydney: Cassidy's like pushing her hand against Iokua's face going
Sydney (as Cassidy): I need more space!
Cameron: And Iokua is just sitting there, now has arms crossed. And just like isn't moving at all as Cassidy's pushing on him.
Sydney: Yeah, Cassidy doesn't move Iokua at all. She's not trying super hard, but she's not trying super hard to protect her own pride.
Nick: The camera zooms out through the top of the rig and you could hear the voices of the Patina jovially arguing as it rumbles along this dirt road, headed towards the Ghost Lands in the far north. And the next thing we see the sun is setting through the storm, just slight angled rays coming through from the horizon as the night begins to set. And you come to what could only be described as a log cabin for lack of better words. It's like a lean to that's leaning against itself. Large felled trees interlocked to create a triangular roof that goes all the way to the ground. A muddy ash filled fire pit is out front. A tarp is hanging over the door. And you can see that there are pits out back for curing skins and leathers. This appears to be the outpost that you were attempting to go towards. Somewhere with information over your quarry.
Aly: Zee-o looks out the window and says loudly.
Aly (as Zee-o): This is not an outpost.
Drew: Wyatt turns around and looks in the back end goes.
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah, the bots right, Cass. You said this was an outpost.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It's a spot with a person with supplies. What are you, what are you looking for?
Drew (as Wyatt): I'm looking for I don't know, like a refuel station, a couple of traders, maybe like a defensible outpost. Something like that.
Sydney (as Cassidy): We're out- We're going out into the Ghost Lands. You know, smart people don't set up shop out here.
Drew (as Wyatt): So whoever we're gonna meet here...
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. Uh you guys have fun with whoever we're gonna meet here.
Aly (as Zee-o): I do not think there is anyone here.
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah...
Drew: And then we see like, [Bonk] on the window.
Aly: And followed by Zee-o quietly going
Aly (as Zee-o): I was incorrect.
Nick: And what does this trader look like? This backwoods trader.
Sydney: So the hand that has slapped the front windshield of the rig is old and wrinkly. And it's the hairs on the hand are long enough that they're wrapping around a little bit and everything's all gray and wiry. And he comes around and slaps the driver side door and you can look out the window and he's got a big knobby nose and a kind of misshapen like, his face kind of looks like a pumpkin that you'd left out a little bit too long, where it was round, and now it's a little bit shrunken in uncomfortable ways. And he slaps the door again in what I guess is a knock, but it may also be a wild animal trying to steal the food from inside the rig.
Drew: We have this long moment where we see Wyatt began to roll down the window. It goes halfway and he looks over and goes,
Drew (as Wyatt): Can I help you?
Sydney (as Trader): You pulled up to my outpost.
Drew (as Wyatt): Well yeah, but I wasn't really expecting someone to come out and meet us, more like we go inside... type...
Sydney (as Trader): It's an outpost. I am here to trade.
Drew (as Wyatt): What do you got to trade?
Sydney (as Trader): Skins.
Drew (as Wyatt): What kind of skins?
Sydney: And he looks back towards the skin, he has to take a couple of steps to look at what's in the back and he comes back forward and goes,
Sydney (as Trader): I have my bear skin. Uh there's a couple of deer. What do you want? You stopped here.
Rhi (as Pallie): We're actually mostly looking for information. A little bit of food resupply probably wouldn't hurt too.
Sydney (as Trader): Information on what?
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah uh, we're looking for...
Drew: Wyatt looks over at Pallie and looks back and goes
Drew (as Wyatt): The Beast?
Sydney (as Trader): HA! It's a myth.
Rhi (as Pallie): That's not the information that we've got.
Sydney (as Trader): Well then it sounds like you're the ones with information.
Drew (as Wyatt): All right, let's try a different tact here. You got food for trade?
Sydney (as Trader): I've got food.
Drew (as Wyatt): All right. We got metal or anything else if you're interested.
Sydney (as Trader): Well show me it, bring it inside, whatever you're willing to part with, and we can lay our wares out on the table and see what we're looking at.
Drew (as Wyatt): All right, it's good enough for me.
Drew: And we see Wyatt roll up the window again, as he turns around and looks into the back and goes
Drew (as Wyatt): Okay. I don't think anything is gonna go sour here, but if it does, we all know what to do. And you, bot-
Rhi (as Pallie): Zee-o.
Aly: Zee-o looks.
Drew (as Wyatt): Cover up. You know.
Drew: And he pulls out your poncho and he like throws it at you.
Aly: Zee-o catches it and stares at Wyatt.
Drew (as Wyatt): Look, I'm not gonna have a repeat of Detritus, all right?
Aly: Zee-o dons the poncho slowly.
Drew (as Wyatt): All right.
Drew: So Wyatt turns around and goes
Drew (as Wyatt): Okay, I'm gonna get the stuff -
Rhi (as Pallie): I'm getting this stuff. You don't know what there is to trade. You're just gonna grab any bin back there -
Drew (as Wyatt): Fine. Fine.
Rhi (as Pallie): - and walk off with it.
Drew (as Wyatt): Fine. I'll go with Iokua.
Drew: And Wyatt opens the door.
Rhi: Pallie will also open the door and flags Zee-o over to help carry the bin of trading scrap.
Aly: Yeah no, Zee-o steps out of the truck now wearing the poncho with the hood up draped over their frame and hurries to help carry the heavy load with ease.
Cameron: Iokua was start sliding towards the door that Zee-o opened to get out and turns back to Cassidy.
Cameron (as Iokua): This is why I'm normally the one who does the talking.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You're the one that picked the backseat.
Cameron (as Iokua): [disbelieving noise] Wyatt wasn't gonna let me drive, Cassidy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): That is true. I'm gonna go up on that hill over there and make sure that I know where we are and see if there's any sketchy things in the terrain or signs of our beast. You guys have fun with this guy.
Cameron (as Iokua): All right. Be safe. Shout if you need anything.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Of course.
Cameron (as Iokua): Let's go fix this. All right.
Cameron: Iokua climbs out of the truck and starts walking towards the shanty.
Sydney: Yeah, Cassidy climbs out and grabs her bow and heads off towards the thing while there's still a little bit of light.
Nick: What is Cassidy wear when it's raining?
Sydney: Her same, her canvas jackets pretty waterproof. So it gets wet and then the water just rolls right off.
Nick: And we see, as usual the flurry of activity as the Patina prepares for a temporary stop. Everyone piles out. The crates are brought towards this shack, and the group minus Cassidy enters.
Sydney: This old creepy dude walks with a little bit of a limp as they get towards the thing. And then he pushes the tarp aside just enough for him to get through, and then just lets it fall down behind him. He doesn't hold it open for you.
Nick: And as the group enters, I really want one detail from each person about what this outpost looks like.
Cameron: There are incredibly low ceilings and both Wyatt and Iokua cannot stand up straight.
Rhi: And at what is like if this was a normal height building, this would be a reasonable height up from the floor, but because it's so low, I am gonna say it's a moose head, like a taxidermied moose is just the first thing you see. You walk in and this thing is exactly at eye level across the room. And so you walk in, it's like oh, oh, okay. [laugh] Just hanging on the wall. It looks pretty beat up. But the initial, it's shocking when you first come in.
Nick: I want to add that there is a single kerosene lantern hanging from one corner so there's lots of long shadows and the floorboards aren't even so it's pretty difficult to not trip since you can't really see how level the floor is at any given point. It also looks like the low roof was built exactly half an inch taller than this man's head is. So he stands up straight and walks confidently, but no one else really can.
Drew: There are four raccoons. Live raccoons. They have dog collars on, and they are in the corner asleep. And there are bowls of food set out for them, there's bowls with their names on it. But they have soiled this place and it smells like raccoon piss.
Nick: Are the raccoons really fat?
Drew: Oh, they're very fat. And they're very asleep right now.
Nick: I would like to add one of the raccoons is holding some sort of jar of something in his sleep up towards his face and has what looks like jelly or something around his mouth like he fell asleep eating out of this jar.
Aly: I think that there is a really rudimentary counter setup at some place in this room to give it the vaguest visual semblance of being an outpost of some kind, and on the counter is just a tangled mess of stuff. Think about the messiest antique store you've ever been in, just bits of everything and nothing all in a mass. But protruding from this mass of junk, there is a robot hand. It is not functional. It is covered in dust and rust. And it is definitely of a more rudimentary make than Zee-o's own person, but it is distinctly a robot hand sticking up out of this pile of junk. It's holding something awkwardly just like something arbitrary that this guy has been like "I can make this hand hold this thing for me. So I don't lose it or whatever." But it looks distinctly out of place. It's probably a piece of something, the thing that it came from was probably the most high tech thing in this entire establishment at one point. And it is decidedly spooky. And Zee-o clocks it immediately, and doesn't say anything, but continues to clock it with concern.
Sydney: And then I think in the back of the room, there's the porch that goes out to the back where the skins are, and there's also the kitchen area with the same wood floors. And there's half dissected animals, because it's the ones that he's already skinned and he's processing the meat, but he's doing it like in the same room with all of his other stuff. And there's no sign of any gloves or anything that wouldn't mean that everything in this place was contaminated. But there is some cured meats and stuff hanging off in the side where if he had done it right, it should be edible.
Rhi: I feel like Pallie is gonna lean into Wyatt and be like,
Rhi (as Pallie): maybe not so much on the trading for food, huh?
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah, maybe not.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah.
Drew (as Wyatt): We can go hunting while we're out there.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah.
Drew (as Wyatt): I don't want any of this stuff.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah. No. No.
Drew: And as they step inside, we see Wyatt nudge Iokua.
[charming music starts]
Cameron (as Iokua): Wow, that is some moose. Oh, my goodness.
Sydney (as Trader): Well thank you. I actually killed her myself, 26 years and seven months ago.
Cameron (as Iokua): Oh my gosh, that is amazing.
Sydney (as Trader): Why thank you. She's the pride of my collection.
Cameron (as Iokua): Perfect size for this room too.
Sydney (as Trader): Oh, you know, I really like you.
Cameron (as Iokua): Yeah, this is why I talk.
Rhi: [laugh] I think Pallie actually does sort of start laughing and turns it into a cough.
Rhi (as Pallie): *Coughing noises
Sydney: And the guy looks over at Pallie and then just looks back at Iokua cause he doesn't really super care. He's being complimented.
Rhi (as Pallie): Sorry, just a little bit of a cold. Don't Don't mind me.
Sydney (as Trader): Well, this is the outpost. Those are my friends over there in the corner.
Cameron (as Iokua): Oh my gosh, there's raccoons.
Sydney (as Trader): Yeah, so the big one right there, with the jar, that's Whiskey.
Cameron (as Iokua): Awww.
Sydney (as Trader): And the one that he's sitting right on top of, that one's Vodka. And then the two over there that have got the uh, the matching eye patches over their eye.
Cameron (as Iokua): Mmhm.
Sydney (as Trader): That's Tequila and Mezcal.
Cameron (as Iokua): Pallie, please let it be known that I would like a raccoon.
Rhi (as Pallie): Uhh noted, but don't expect us to act on that. I'm noting it.
Cameron (as Iokua): Thank you. I just want it noted.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah, yeah.
Drew: Wyatt is vigorously shaking his head.
Rhi (as Pallie): I hear that you want to raccoon. We are not getting a raccoon.
Cameron (as Iokua): [pause] Wow, you crushed that dream incredibly quickly.
Rhi (as Pallie): Where are we gonna keep a raccoon in the rig?
Cameron (as Iokua): In my lap. I will take it on walks. I will love it.
Rhi: Pallie just stares blankly for a few seconds and then turns away and is like,
Rhi (as Pallie): Ah... So the thing we're looking for; [charming music stops] um... some kind of old mining equipment from what we hear. Do you know of any mines or hell even pointing us in the direction of a nearby mountain range?
Sydney (as Trader): I mean, there's a big ol hole in the ground up to the northwest. But if you're if you're looking for the Beast, it's a myth. Why don't we pull up a chair and we can talk trading. Put your stuff you're looking to trade up on the counter here.
Sydney: And he shoves a couple of random knickknacks around on the counter. And it doesn't make a lot of space. But it makes a token effort for whatever. It's more than what you brought in because he's optimistic.
Cameron (as Iokua): So since you're already set up while they unload our stuff, I would love to hear this myth.
Nick: And Iokua, I'm going to need a Charm check for you to try to get this old skin trader to give you more information than he's giving so far.
Cameron: What's the difficulty of my charmingness?
Nick: I think it's gonna be hard. He doesn't want to share.
Cameron: I'm gonna use a story point to upgrade. Let's be charming.
Cameron: Okay, so I'm not super charming, but I got one success and one advantage. I rolled three yellows and three purples.
Nick: With a success and an advantage. I think you get this person to open up a little bit. You're going to get some good details and a general direction but you're not going to get all the information.
Sydney (as Trader): [sigh] So you want to hear about the Beast?
Cameron (as Iokua): I would love to
Sydney (as Trader): [sigh] You sure you don't want to buy any skins first? I've got some good ones.
Cameron (as Iokua): Skins not my thing, that's a them department. I'm more here for the raccoons and the story. [laugh]
Sydney (as Trader): I mean, I'm the only game out here besides the game. So if you're looking to get something I'm the spot, but if you're looking for a story, you've been so charming already. Do you want to pet Whiskey?
Cameron (as Iokua): [GASP] Oh my gosh, could I?
Sydney (as Trader): Hey, Whiskey. [whistles]
Drew: We see Wyatt take a pair of leather gloves off of his belt and hand them to Iokua going,
Drew (as Wyatt): You better. You have to put these on. That thing is probably full of fleas.
Cameron (as Iokua): I won't be able to feel it's fur though. Wyatt you're missing the point of petting the raccoon!
Drew (as Wyatt): Then it's... I mean that's fleas and ticks on you. Just.. fine.
Drew: He puts the gloves back. He's like
Drew (as Wyatt): I'm gonna, I'm gonna wait outside.
Nick: Whiskey cracks open an eye, sets the jar of mystery goop aside, tucks his head between his back legs, and somersaults across the floor towards the old man.
Cameron: Iokua does the side arm slapping thing to Pallie.
Cameron (as Iokua): Oh my gosh. Look at it!
Rhi (as Pallie): Ow, ow, ow.
Cameron (as Iokua): Pallie, It's rolling~.
Rhi (as Pallie): Yeah ow, I see it. Ow
Cameron (as Iokua): How can you not want to raccoon??
Rhi (as Pallie) : Ow. Stop hitting me!
Rhi: [laughing] You're hitting Pallie in her flesh arm. So it's actually hurting.
Rhi (as Pallie): There's no room for it to roll around in the rig.
Cameron (as Iokua): No, but we could let it outside~.
Rhi (as Pallie): We're not getting a raccoon.
Sydney: Whiskey rolls over and lands at this guy's feet and does the hands to the sky blinky hands pick me up gesture. And he scoops Whiskey up with a noticeable effort and really bad lifting technique. And goes
Sydney (as Trader): Here you go.
Sydney: And hands him to Iokua.
Cameron: Iokua takes Whiskey and is holding him like a baby.
Sydney: This is a giant raccoon. This thing is not small.
Nick: I want a Survival check with how well Iokua handles this very large raccoon.
Cameron: What's the difficulty?
Cameron: Can I have a blue die because my Brawn is three?
Cameron: So the weight doesn't impact me at all?
Cameron: Thank you.
Cameron: A success in two threats.
Nick: Whiskey's really cuddly.
Nick: He nuzzles up under your chiseled jaw line. You're able to touch his tummy. [Cameron gasps] He grabs your thumb with his little thumb hands.
Cameron: Oh my gosh.
Nick: It's great. And, you don't even feel itchy at all. Not even a little. You would never admit that you feel itchy to anyone.
Cameron: Well, no, because I'm fine. This raccoon is very clean.
Nick: And it's the best thing ever and why wouldn't you ever have a raccoon as a pet? No one can understand. It's not like they can open doors or anything.
Cameron: That's so useful though.
Nick: So as you were cuddling Whiskey, what does this trader tell the remaining group of the Patina?
Sydney: Yeah, so he looks at the group and he leans on the bar with one elbow and goes,
[dramatic music starts]
Sydney (as Trader): Well, Whiskey likes you. And that's always a good sign. I guess. [sighs] Alright. The Beast. They say it's been here since before time. I've basically been here since before time, and it's been here as long as me. It goes out and digs up all the trees and all the dirt and all the rocks in wherever spot it thinks is good. And I try to stay out of its way. And the adventurers like yourself, come through thinking, 'oh, we're gonna go fight the Beast.' And you trade with me, and then you go off, and then you're never seen again. I you know, I do like talking to people. And I hate to see people go out there and get rid of the mystery. Except what really happens is they just go out and die. But maybe you'll be different.
Sydney: He looks extremely skeptical, but he reaches out and scratches Whiskey's belly.
[dramatic music ends]
Cameron: The whole time, the story was being told, Iokua was a holding Whiskey in one arm, and was just scratching his belly and like making baby noises at it.
Cameron (as Iokua): [Baby noises] Baby raccoon! Your tummy's so sooooft. I'm gunna make Pallie let me have a raccoon. You're not itchy at all.
Rhi: So I think Pallie will, I'm trying to think of what something that we might have in our scrap stash - thinking like a can opener. That's a thing that ends up being worth a lot because it's really fine precise manufacturing that you don't really see anymore.
Nick: So like a can opener with a crank handle, not like just a punch.
Nick: I think anybody who would make precision machined gears is making stuff a lot more important than a more convenient can opener. So yeah.
Rhi: So I think Pallie will rummage around in there and pull that out and dust it off and hold it up for our trader to see and be like,
Rhi (as Pallie): So uh, you got a general direction for where we might find this thing?
Sydney (as Trader): Well, that, is that I can opener?
Rhi (as Pallie): Sure is.
Sydney (as Trader): I've got cans and I've just been opening them with rocks.
Rhi (as Pallie): Well, I made sure this one works. It's all nice and sharp and a lot easier than rocks.
Sydney (as Trader): Hmmmmm.
Nick: Make me a Charm roll at hard difficulty again, but you get two blue die by offering a bribe.
Rhi: And Iokua has softened him up.
Rhi: Two successes and a threat.
Nick: Great. Um, so I think with the successes at this point, this guy's like, well, they'll probably die anyway, might as well get some stuff off of them. The threat I think is you're going to need to sweeten the deal just a little bit more.
Sydney: So the guy looks at the can opener and looks back at you and goes,
Sydney (as Trader): But I would be sending you to deaths if I told you where I saw- I mean where I heard it was.
Rhi: Pallie will reach back into the bin rummage around a little bit more.
Aly: So Pallie's rummaging. Zee-o's holding the bin right? Zee-o looks down into the bin, shifts it so that they are holding it with one arm, reaches in and plucks out of it a connected set of gears with a chain like you would see on a bicycle or some kind of loom or factory machine. They're in really good condition. They're still connected. And there's a little crank on the side. Who knows what this was a piece of or for but on its own this chunk connected is really fun to play with. And Zee-o pulls it out of the bin and holds it out to Pallie. Their face is as neutral as ever but there's a meaningful head tilt like this is the one.
Rhi: Pallie winks at Zee-o and will take it and sets the can opener down closer to the guy, and then holding the gears flat on her palm will just start turning the crank and be like
Rhi (as Pallie): Well, that's a that's a real shame that you can't remember where you saw or heard it.
Sydney: This guy's not at all sneaky about hiding his desire for the shiny thing. He's looking at it. It doesn't even look back to make eye contact back with you. He just keeps looking at it and goes,
Sydney (as Trader): Well, you know, I could be persuaded. With something sufficiently... shiny.
Rhi: Pallie, will take a step forward and hold the thing out to him.
Sydney: Yeah. And he takes it and starts spinning it really fast. There's a little childlike glee. Almost makes it around the folds of his lips. And he goes,
Sydney (as Trader): Well, alright then. [Sigh] Look, don't get yourselves killed. Or at least I know where to send the next ones to go pick over your bodies. I saw it northeast of here, not the big hole. There's another if you're, if you look for tread marks, it's kind of a lot a little sideways lines. It doesn't move with wheels. But you can, you can probably find something. Yeah, it was where I saw it.
Sydney: And he goes back to spinning this thing and then he goes over and just turns it back to you and walks over and gives it to Vodka. And Vodka sleepily shakes out of their total nap, and then grabs this thing with raccoon hands and spins it really fast. The same exact manner as in the same way that this guy was doing it.
Rhi (as Pallie): Huh, we've got an expert tracker on our team. So I think finding some big treads should be easy enough.
Rhi: Since this guy's back is to us Pallie's gesturing, like time to go to the group towards the door.
Rhi (as Pallie): Put the raccoon down!
Cameron (as Iokua): No~.
Rhi (as Pallie): We're not getting a raccoon and you're not stealing this man's raccoon.
Cameron (as Iokua): Oh, no, of course I'm not stealing his raccoon. Whiskey belongs with his siblings.
Rhi (as Pallie): Okay.
Sydney: [laugh] The guy turns around and he goes towards Iokua and puts his hands out in the like supplicating, I will take him from you now, gesture.
Cameron: Iokua gives Whiskey one last belly rub and then hands him off.
Sydney (as Trader): Well, he did really like you. So if you make it back, you can, you can come pet him some more.
Cameron (as Iokua): I don't know if I've ever had anything give me more motivation to come back.
Sydney (as Trader): Well great. Names Joe. By the way, name's Joe. I'm the trader.
Cameron (as Iokua): Fabulous to meet you, Joe the trader.
Nick: And Joe takes Whiskey back. Whiskey sets his teeth into Joe's ear, and Joe doesn't seem to notice. And you all back carefully out of this shed, and the truck is still running in the rain, which is beginning to lighten a little bit.
Drew (as Wyatt): Yeah, Wyatt's in the truck.
Nick: As the tarp is pulled away from the door, there's a flash of light again, that illuminates what's going on outside and Cassidy is able to see that and see that people are leaving. I think that Iokua and Pallie leave first, and Zee-o has a moment looking at this scene and this hand that is still there and these weird furry creatures and this strange interaction that's happened. What is Zee-o thinking about?
Aly: Zee-o has been taking to heart Wyatt's advice to lay low and not draw attention to themselves during this interaction. But as everyone starts to leave, they shoot a glance around the space with the raccoons, the jumble of junk, this old man and his strange life, and Zee-o's faces is as neutral as always, but for maybe the first time in a long time, internally, there's a moment of disdain that creeps across Zee-o's processors and then almost immediately dissipates into a kind of reflectiveness where Zee-o internally is sort of like "eugh, this place this guy, eugh," and then it immediately dissipates and is replaced with "there is a place for everything and everyone and it is not for us to understand all of that." And they clock that robot arm on the counter one more time and then they carry the bin of trading stuff back out to the rig.
Nick: And the next thing we see is everyone piling back into the main cabin, and Cassidy is jogging back out of the rain and slides into her spot and the rig drives onward into the rain following the directions of this strange trader. Heading further North into the Ghost Lands.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Aly (as Zee-o): End of episode. Commencing end credits. The following information will be placed in the show notes for your added convenience.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Drew Mierzejewski as Wyatt. Drew can be found on Twitter @ worldstoforge and is the showrunner for Skyjacks: Courier’s Call, an all-ages actual play podcast set in the world of Spéir, designed by James D’Amato.
Aly Grauer as Zee-o. Aly can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ dreamstobecome. Aly is also a player on and audio editor for Skyjacks: Courier’s Call. You can support both Aly and Drew by joining their Patreon @ Patreon.com/WhimsyArtifice.
Rhi as Pallie. Rhi is the GM and producer of The Magpies, a Blades in the Dark actual play podcast, and the owner of Skill Check, a document accessibility service for the RPG community. Rhi can be found on Twitter @ Rhiannon42.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support @ Patreon.com/TabletopSquadron
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com.
Until next time…
[hurdy gurdy fades]