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Transcript: Episode 32: Conversation of Substance

A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript Episode 32: Conversation of Substance Transcript by Cameron Robertson

Intro: [hurdy gurdy music begins]

Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –

Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling.

Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.

Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard.

Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.

Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:

Thanks for listening to the show! You’re what keeps the show going, and since you’re listening, you must be the best, so good work. If you’re feeling extra ambitious and want to further support the show, please consider leaving us a review on iTunes, or your podcast platform of choice, or check out the show notes for a link to our Patreon, where you can find bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into episode 32: Conversation of Substance. And so...

Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.

[hurdy gurdy music ends]

[electronic beeping] [robotic powerup noise begins] Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection. [robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]

[over radio] Sydney (as Cassidy): Last time on A Knight of Shreds and Patches, we found a stowaway. Birdie, a wanderer and thief (though not to us, because we did check), was hanging out in the back of the rig, until we stumbled across her. She's got money for passage, and skills that could be useful...I dunno. [sigh] but she's with us for now. We read some romance novel, listened to some Tree All radio, and Emma and I generally were reminded what it was like to have more than just the two of us around. [radio static]

Episode Start:

Nick: We see the Patina swing into the town of Grapes. It's quiet. Close to deserted, but you can all see the marks of a recent fight; bullet holes, fires, and scorch marks lead the Patina to the center of town. Everyone, give me a detail you see of the town of Grapes, as you were making your way to the center, looking for the recipient of your delivery.

Cameron: The town has very much leaned into the name Grapes and that is the only decorative motif you see, as you go through the town. It's on all the signs. It's in some mosaics, in fountains, it's on doors, there's just grapes everywhere.

Nick: Do you think that the grapes are different colors and styles or is there like a specific iconography associated with grapes for the town of Grapes.

Cameron: They are all concord Grapes. So they're the tiny little purple grapes with really big leaves. They look crisp when you look at them.

Sydney: The damage is pretty fresh. There's not fires burning, but there's a couple of spots where things are still smoldering. And there's people out but there's a lot of just shell shocked looking, they have not yet digested what has happened. They look like the people who live here, it's not that they look like bandits, all of the badness has been cleared out, but it's just people trying to take stock of what is still left. And that's why the Patina feels safe approaching into town as opposed to standing on the edge and being concerned of ambushes, because there's people it's just,

Nick: Mhmm. And as you roll slowly through town, driving as non threateningly as possible, you see the kind of gestures that show that this is normally a friendly place. People beginning to wave, but in the aftermath of this event, they find themselves unable to follow through before sifting back through the rubble.

Kit: A lot of the damage has centered around a lot of stalls have lined the streets, mostly the main street that comes through the town. So the buildings themselves have taken on a bit of damage, but a majority of its like destroyed stalls. And you can see as we roll into town, there was a banner set up between two buildings that said The Grapes Grape Festival, and so the festival was able to happen because they they found out ways to elongate the season of grapes, but this seems to be their last hurrah of the season where they celebrate together their fruits of their labor. And they're a bunch of different booths that used to have their own signs that said Wine Tasting and Jam Tasting. So the jams were usually grape, one would assume, but there were mixes of them, and there was a grape eating contest, but sadly, it is all ended.

Nick: So as you continue through town, seeing the remnants of this festival, which also coincide with the chipper decorations, you also notice that some of the newer parts of these buildings - some of the fronts and some statuary seems a lot newer, like it's been built by a town trying to rejuvenate itself, by people who are proud of where they live. And you pull the rig into the center of town. It's not a square, the center of town in that the roads are wider here, the shops seem more prosperous, which ones haven't been damaged. And as you put the brake on the rig and cut the engine, the other thing that catches your eye and has drawn you to it as you drove through town is an intricate and damaged clock tower that rises up above the buildings, maybe a full story taller than the tallest other building in town and you can see that the clock has stopped. And as you cut the engine, you can see the eyes of townsfolk peering out from behind curtains in buildings and doors cracking open to allow a view of the potential danger that's rolled into town yet again.

Sydney: Yeah, so Cassidy looks at Emma after having given that glance around the town, and after having pulled the parking brake of the truck, Cassidy had been running that analysis in her head of this looks like something happened recently, but not just now. That these people are not dangerous or directly in danger, and I think has said similarly to the crew in the cab, as they approach then came to a stop, but shrugs and looks not optimistic as she makes eye contact with Emma.

Cameron (as Emma): It looks like they were having some sort of festival.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, it looks like they were having some sort of festival. Not anymore. [sigh] We've got a package to deliver, so we should go at least start talking. You think it's gonna be worth giving the speech?

Cameron (as Emma): Um...

Cameron: Emma is looking around out the windows and the windshield, seeing what level of people are out and about.

Nick: Some people have started to leave their houses, either to start to sweep up again or just out of curiosity at the newcomers. There is a enough of a population here that it feels very similar to the crowd that you attracted in the small village of Cluster where you didn't meet Birdie, but managed to pick up Birdie.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well. Worth a shot, I guess? It's not gonna hurt.

Cameron (as Emma): Ahh, I'll probably go a little bit more low key and just go talk to that big group standing over there, rather than yelling.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, seems good.

Cameron (as Emma): Cause they seem like they've had a bit of a rough time.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, maybe figure out what's going on too. Because

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah~.

Sydney (as Cassidy): That is a potential job if they're all affected by it, as cynical as that as.

Cameron (as Emma): Yep. I can do that.

Sydney (as Cassidy): But we can help give some payback for some burnt buildings or something.

Nick: We see Emma hop down out of the cab and head over towards a group on the far side of the center of town. It looks like they're attempting to right a statue that had been knocked down. It's a sort of whimsical construction of a grape vine spiraling in on itself. And it's very top heavy from the carved fruit at the top, meaning that it's taking quite a few people.

Cameron: Emma rushes over to assist.

Nick: And as Emma goes out to collect some information, Cassidy you find yourself alone with Birdie for probably the first time.

Sydney: I think Cassidy is kicked over into work brain and isn't totally paying attention to the fact that Birdie's there. Because Cassidy sits in silence often anyway, she's just watching Emma from the truck with the door open, but just hanging out.

Kit: I think Birdie has poked her head up to the front and is looking around as well, trying to get a better look now that they've stopped and she's not wearing a seatbelt. She ends up looking at Cassidy and she goes

Kit (as Birdie): So whenever you guys go to a new town, you just have the same speech? You just go to the center of town?

Nick: Cassidy, do you jump as a voice comes from the back of the cab?

Sydney: Cassidy just blinks, and then does the slight head tilt of processing before nodding to herself - Yes, that's right. There's another person here, but just keeps watching Emma and the rest of the townsfolk struggle with getting this grape statues stood back up.

Nick: Emma, have you kindly taken charge and started to helping to rig up good leverage to lift this thing since they were just trying to muscle it back into place?

Cameron: Oh, yeah. Emma has taken over and is now directing people to be like, they had had a rope tied to it, but they stopped using it for some reason. So she's got a few people on one side of it pulling with the rope while the another group pushes and there's one person making sure it lands in the right spot. She's directing the repositioning of this statue in a smart way so no one gets hurt because someone was going to get hurt. This was going to fall on someone and they would have been crushed like a grape.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, so these communities tend to not have a terribly large amount of liquid funds or tasks for us to do so, give the speech, get the work or find out that there's not work and we move on because [deep breath and sigh] maintaining our gear and maintaining especially the consumables that the rig and the Knight take is not cheap. So yeah. Practiced speech.

Kit: Birdie nods a few times and she thinks for a second and then just

Kit (as Birdie): So is it - it's like a written thing? Did you make it up, the speech? Or did you just -

Sydney (as Cassidy): No, this one is Emma's.

Kit (as Birdie): It's an interesting way to go about things. So was it Emma's idea to start it?

Sydney (as Cassidy): [laugh] No... [laugh] It was thrust upon Emma by one of the people that were off trying to go find.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh...

Nick: Birdie, the conversational tone was starting to warm, but on that note you feel everything get just a little more awkward, a little less comfortable.

Kit: Yeah, Birdie leans back to her seat to sort of wait and give Cassidy a second because she can tell that she hit some form of a nerve.

Sydney (as Cassidy): You're not going to go out there and try to help with the statue?

Kit (as Birdie): Oh, I'm not strong.

Sydney (as Cassidy): You got a beat-y stick. You're gonna try to do that without being strong?

Kit (as Birdie): Beat-y stick has sharp things on it and sometimes it doesn't matter the strength behind things, but pointy things often do their job well, whether or not there's a lot of force put behind it. I'm strong enough. I'm not lifting statues strong though. Or I feel like I would just get in the way because it looks like a bunch of dads lifting up the statue. You know, maybe I can - I have a med kit. I can I can go out and see if anyone's injured. That's something I can do. I can be helpful.

Nick: Birdie, I think having made maybe more progress than you expected in this conversation but less than you would have hoped, you grab your backpack which gives a enthusiastic clanking of glass as you jump down out of the rig, pull a small first aid kit out of it and walk towards Emma to see if there's a way you can help without having to lift a statue. And Cassidy you also felt that brief moment of warmness with Birdie. She's the kind of person you can't help but talk to and you also felt that moment die.

Sydney: [sigh] Cassidy hasn't decided in her mind, or externally with a conversation, whether Birdie is a passenger or a crew. Is this person that gives off an aura of someone to be talked to like, are they even going to be around that it's worth the effort to engage? If she's just going to get dropped off at the end of the next journey and they set off on a new adventure, is it worth - is it useful? Does it feel better to have talked about what they're even doing to this person? Emma already knows. Cassidy's talked about it with Emma but

Nick: You've lost people before, you're worried you're losing people again. And the idea of avoiding connection because of loss, I think it worries you. And we cut away to Birdie and Emma rejoining Cassidy at the rig and Emma you were able to help get the statue back up. Birdie, most of the people who were really injured in this bandit raid, and you did find out it was during a bandit raid, were moved over to the next town where there was a doctor, but you are able to provide some ointment and some bandages for less serious injuries without too much trouble. And Emma you managed to find somebody in the town who was willing to talk, willing to help, and he has followed you back to the rig.

He's wearing a red flannel shirt, dark stained canvas pants with a deeply worn look to them. There's large pockets down the sides, and he has dark hair swept back from a comfortably round face with a kind of scraggly close cut dark beard. And he smiles widely at you all and says,

Nick (as Dale): Well I'm sorry to say that the festival is over - ended up being sort of forcibly canceled on us.

Nick: He pushes hair back from his forehead wiping some sweat away. He says

Nick (as Dale): Well I, thank you for the help with the statue and uh, I hear uh that you're all looking for work. I'm afraid I don't have anything for mercenaries right now. The town couldn't really afford to pay you probably what your fees are, but uh if you need any information or have any questions or even a place to stay, we could probably put you up somewhere. It's good to have some scary looking people in town who aren't trying to burn the whole thing down.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, Dale, I think you can help hopefully. We actually have a delivery that we were supposed to make here, uh to an Ananda Mallard?

Sydney: And Cassidy produces the parcel and hands it down.

Nick: Watching that Dale puffs out his cheeks blowing air and then shakes his head a little goes

Nick (as Dale): Oh yeah sorry sorry about that didn't even introduce myself. Emma already knows, the name is Dale.

Nick: And he holds out his hand to Birdie to shake, leaning forward in a very friendly manner showing that he's fully engaged in the handshake.

Kit: Birdie is so happy to be engaged in this handshake. [laughing]

Nick: And after a solid handshake he raises his eyebrows waiting for an introduction from Birdie.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh, yes. Um, hi! I'm Birdie. Um sorry. I kind of new with everything, but it's nice to meet you. I think I gave your son a bandaid earlier.

Nick (as Dale): Oh, well, I do appreciate that. He's always getting into scrapes. [awkward dad laugh]

Nick: And he slaps at his knee and then rotates 45 degrees towards where Cassidy is, does the same enthusiastic, lean forward and put her there hand gesture and says,

Nick (as Dale): So yeah, names Dale. Sort of leading the reconstruction efforts here. Put her there.

Sydney: She does reluctantly, definitely is not matching the energy, but it is a solid business like handshake of yes, we are beginning a conversation. We are not friends.

Cameron: Emma is standing in Cassidy's line of sight right behind Dale, and just looks delighted at this interaction. She's finding it very amusing.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Cassidy.

Nick (as Dale): Well, it's great to meet you.

Sydney (as Cassidy): So, Ananda?

Nick (as Dale): Oh, yeah, Ananda Mallard, a really talented guy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Lives in a tall, pointy building or something?

Nick: He smiles and just points a finger up past the roof of the rig towards the clock tower.

Nick (as Dale): Yeah, he uh got our clock tower working. Hasn't been functioning for years till he showed up. Just a really talented hand with contraptions he liked to say,

Cameron (as Emma): Oh. Well, that's easy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): And it looks like it's not functioning now.

Nick: The smile freezes on Dale's face for a second and he hooks his thumbs into the belt loops of his pants and leans back. You can see his slight gut straining the buttons on his flannel shirt, and he blows the air out of his cheeks again and says,

Nick (as Dale): Yeah. Ya know, that guy Ananda. He made quite a good casserole. Just he would bring it to the potluck and everybody was a big fan.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [frustration obvious in voice] We're trying to get this delivered. Where is he?

Nick (as Dale): Well, friend, he's he's not here. Seems to be that that's why the bandits came to town. They heard about Ananda and his well, they they just kept yelling about wanting the inventor and they scaled the tower and they pulled him down, and now they're gone. Ananda's not here. Unfortunately.

Sydney: Cassidy looks at Emma over this guy's shoulder.

Cameron: Emma is staring up at the clock. Emma likes clocks. And this one's broken. And she's thinking about it now, but feels Cassidy's gaze just lingering on her and rejoins this conversation.

Cameron (as Emma): So what you're saying Dale is that the person that we were sent here to deliver a package to is the one person that this group of bandits came to take?

Nick (as Dale): Well, they also took a whole lot of grapes.

Nick: And he tries to smile, but he looks a little haunted.

Cameron (as Emma): So~ okay um. Do you know where the bandits went? Can you point us in a direction at least?

Nick (as Dale): Uh, look, I know how you mercenaries work, okay? We can't afford to pay you to take out a whole bandit camp. We just can't. We can't do it. We've lost our crop.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh, yeah yeah yeah. No, no, Dale. Dale, I'm not asking you to. I just have to deliver the package to him, so if he's with the bandits then that's where I need to go. If a scuffle ensues along the way, then it happens.

Nick (as Dale): Well, we'd be mighty appreciative to you if you could get Ananda back. We're missing that casserole. I know they have some sort of settlement about a day's walk west of here. They strike out at a lot of the smaller settlements. They've always left us alone, because we were just a little too big, there's too many of us, but I guess having some sort of inventor - they said it like he was a member of the Advantia or something and he certainly wasn't. Trust me. They - I guess it was enough to override their sense of self preservation.

Cameron (as Emma): Well, did any of the bandits get injured during the raid?

Nick (as Dale): Well uh, Mark got off a shot with his hunting rifle that we use around winter feast times. He think he might have hit somebody but is a bandit's a little bit smaller than a moose, you know? So I'm not entirely sure.

Cameron (as Emma): Do y'all have the big mooses? Or is a normal size mooses here?

Nick (as Dale): Oh, ah, mostly the normal ones. All the big ones are mostly domesticated.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay, which are still big. The normal ones still very big.

Nick (as Dale): I mean, they're they're normal size I suppose. Not that big when you think about it.

Cameron (as Emma): Much larger than a bandit, though.

Nick (as Dale): Oh, yeah, that that was my point. Thank you for reminding me. Yeah. A lot bigger than a bandit.

Sydney (as Cassidy): How many of these bandits?

Nick (as Dale): I couldn't really tell you that. Whatever size a general banditry would be. They were in and around the buildings - definitely more than 10. If that helps. It was a lot.

Cameron (as Emma): [sigh] I will say I was concerned when you use the word settlement.

Nick (as Dale): Oh, they definitely have some sort of camp. We just don't go west anymore. We just avoid them.

Sydney (as Cassidy): And they've been here for how long?

Nick (as Dale): I'm actually a fourth generation Grapian. It goes all the way back to Great Great Grandpa Dale, helped settle this town from ruins. So yeah, I've been here a long time. Been here a long time. Have strong roots here in Grapes.

Sydney (as Cassidy): And the bandits have been here 100 years?

Nick (as Dale): Oh, well, the bandits not so long. Maybe a couple years. Like I said they haven't really bothered us. We've normally just kind of keep to ourselves, and they keep to themselves - like a moose.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Except for the other towns.

Nick (as Dale): Look, you know, there's only so much you can do. Sometimes you gotta protect you in yours before you can protect others and that's okay. We were focused on Grapes.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Hmm.

Cameron (as Emma): All right.

Nick (as Dale): But if you're having to go and rescue Ananda anyway, or sorry, deliver a package to someone who's being held by a bandit - group? Organization? Conglomerate? I don't really know the word. Fun fact: did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?

Cameron (as Emma): Mhmm. I did know that, actually.

Nick (as Dale): I just think it's neat. You know how multiple words can mean the same thing or different things depending.

Sydney: What is Birdie doing during this?

Kit: Birdie knows that she has nothing to do with the package deal, but she will probably end up helping out with whatever the situation that they're going to decide about the bandits. She's kicking gravel between her two feet. Birdie is not a creature of stillness. I don't think Cassidy or Emma has ever seen her sit still for more than 30 seconds, so she's been fidgeting if she feels like she shouldn't interject with something.

Cameron (as Emma): You know, a group of ravens is called an unkindness.

Nick (as Dale): Oh, that's really interesting. I'm going to add that to the old bank of fun facts. By the way, really appreciate you helping with that statue there. You know, we've recently been trying to beautify the town, make it a little more interesting for travelers and the like. So it's really good to bounce back from a situation like this, you know?

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, no problem. I'm glad the statue didn't get damaged when it fell.

Nick (as Dale): Boy howdy, me too.

Kit (as Birdie): Boy howdy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Boy howdy.

Cameron (as Emma): All right, well, you know, thanks, Dale. Appreciate the info.

Nick (as Dale): Oh, you're quite welcome.

Cameron (as Emma): I'm sure you need to get back to leading your cleanup crew and making sure your son doesn't get into any more scrapes, so we'll go ahead let you go.

Nick (as Dale): Oh, well, you know, old Dale knows a dismissal when he hears it. I'm sure you're busy people. I'll be just take it off then, but if you find Ananda I know you're just contracted for the package but sure would appreciate if you could get him on back to Grapes. The clock towers broken and we really miss that casserole and he's a good guy. He doesn't deserve to be cooped up with some bandits like that.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Don't let us keep you.

Nick (as Dale): Oh yeah, that's very nice to you. I'm very busy and like I said, really can understand when a conversation is over and that it's time to move on. Old Dale - Conversation Ender they call me.

Cameron: Emma has walked over to the door of the rig where Cassidy is and just has put a hand on it. [laughing] Is leaning down against it trying not to laugh as this conversation refuses to end.

Kit: Birdie just has the most massive grin on her face. This is the funniest thing I think that's happened to her since she's come to the Eagle Hill area. [laughing]

Nick: He continues to talk. I think we get the effect of the voice fading to a low murmur as Cassidy and Birdie climb into the rig. Emma's a little too polite to shut the door in his face. Because since she was still engaged, the other two were able to get into the cab and Emma sitting there the door just closing slowly nodding and saying uh huh, uh huh. And he's still just talking. He's got the biggest smile on his face. He just emanates a friendly gratefulness for the help that you've done and hope that maybe you'll be able to help this person who's helped his town. It's so hard, Emma. It's so hard to shut the door on this guy but he will not stop talking.

Sydney: Cassidy is just looking at Birdie now with it's gone on long enough but now it's not aimed at her like she has removed herself from it but it is a little bit funny. And so she's looking a little bit amused at Birdie with her back to this dude as she's sitting.

Kit: Birdie's now in the back seat and she just is staring at nothing, like she's staring straightforward at the center console and just nodding her head and smiling because she doesn't know what else to do. [laughing]

Kit (as Birdie): You know, we're losing daylight.

Cameron: Emma is smiling and is shaking her head and is not frustrated with the situation, still finds it very amusing, but is more amused at her companions reaction to it even still, then actually pleased with the conversation itself.

Cameron (as Emma): Yep. All right, there Dale. We'll go ahead and be getting on our way now. We'll definitely come back for that casserole you promised. We got to go deliver this package to Ananda but then yep, we'll be we'll be right back for the redo of the grape festival next week. Bye bye now.

Cameron: Emma shuts the door.

Nick: You shut the door and you can hear muffled through the window as the rig starts up that he's still talking for a minute and the rig pulls away and heads west.

Cameron: Emma's waving.

Kit: Birdie is waving from the back.

Cameron: She doesn't roll the window down.

Nick: Is Cassidy waving?

Sydney: No. Cassidy is using the excuse of driving responsibility to not have to wave.

Nick: And the rig does a three point turn to realign itself and starts to head west to out of town. The package placed conspicuously on the dash. And as the rig rolls away, we see Dale hook his thumbs into his pants again, and smile and say

Nick (as Dale): What nice ladies, they just - gosh, I hope they find Ananda and bring him back, just that that seems so good.

Nick: And the group of dads that he was working with to raise the statue are calling for him from another street over where they found something else heavy that needs lifting. And he walks at a mosey to where his fellow townspeople are.

Cameron (as Emma): Now that we're past Dale, do we want to stop and actually talk about what we're gonna do?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yes, I would love to.

Cameron (as Emma): I can't see him anymore.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I would love to do any talking that wasn't just listening [Birdie laughing] to continuous goodbyes.

Cameron (as Emma): I mean, if you were forceful enough, you could get a few words in there.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [groan] The people up here just keep talking Emma. Like, it's a little bit funny.

Cameron (as Emma): They're friendly Cassidy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): But it doesn't - there's no meaning, it's just pleasantries.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh yeah, it's just words.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [long suffering sigh] Birdie, are you all the people talk like this where - are you used to this?

Kit: Birdie just thinks for a second as to how she would like to answer and which place she's going to use for reference where she's stayed. And she goes,

Kit (as Birdie): No, not really. You know, I said, I grew up on Sasnak Traveling and a lot of people they're pretty in their own lives. And it's a pretty 'go' place, you know what I mean? People are constantly doing their own things and it's not a stop and talk around to just talk place. It's a lot of places around here that just keep going.

Sydney (as Cassidy): That's a lot of talking.

Kit (as Birdie): I think he was delightful.

Cameron (as Emma): I agree. I don't know how anything ever gets done up here.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Lot of standing.

Cameron (as Emma): Like I think the only reason we got the statue back up is because I went in and just started giving instructions and they were busy doing an arduous task so they didn't have time to pause and introduce themselves.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, Dale's son - I gave him a bandaid and it should have been like a 30 second interaction in which I was like, Hey, are you okay? But then he just kept going.

Nick: We cut back in a short flashback to Birdie down on one knee putting a - is there a pattern on the bandaid? Like a floral pattern maybe?

Kit: I think it's a lobster bandaid.

Nick: Putting a bandaid shaped like a lobster, bright red and with little sticker pinchers on the side onto this small dark haired kids knee and he says,

Nick (as Dale's son): Well golly gee, thanks. You know, I haven't scraped my knee like this since the last time that we played stickball down by the river, and we were down by the river, and mom said, we're not supposed to be down by the riv-

Nick: And we'll cut back.

Sydney: Cassidy watches the village fade in the side mirrors of the rig, and then drives a little bit further and then pulls over to the side of the road and goes,

Sydney (as Cassidy): Right. Well, we do have actual conversation of substance to do, because we got to decide if it's even worth trying to go face down 10 plus bandits for a green stitch.

Cameron (as Emma): [sigh] Yeah.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Cause that's not exactly cost effective for us.

Cameron (as Emma): So it would just be a green stitch for delivering the package. But -

Sydney (as Cassidy): You think the bandits are going to let a mercenary group roll up and deliver a package?

Cameron (as Emma): Oh, no. I was assuming if that occurred, then there was also a fight that occurred. I think the only way we would get into the bandit camp to give the package to Ananda would be to take out the bandits, in which case, we can also see what the bandits have.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.

Cameron (as Emma): And take that.

Kit (as Birdie): Looting and entering a possibly life threatening situation or taking the one green stitch and just leaving the package?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, I mean, we can go back and just leave it on his doorstep and when he shows back up, it'll be there.

Cameron (as Emma): I...

Kit (as Birdie): Weren't you promised two green stitch and one of them was going to be given to you by Ananda?

Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh]

Cameron (as Emma): One - we got one there, one on delivery.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yes. One was going to be paid by this guy.

Cameron (as Emma): Mhmm.

Kit (as Birdie): Mhm.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I feel like, I don't know.

Cameron (as Emma): I mean -

Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't want to sit here and embark on a campaign of killing bandits for no reward when we've got places to be.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, but like now that I know that this guy got taken by bandits I also don't just want to [Cassidy sharp exhale] leave him there if we could potentially do something about it.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I know.

Cameron (as Emma): And also, if this group of bandits has been messing with all these towns for several years, like I don't know, I think the groups just keep getting bolder, and if that's the first time that they've ever attacked Grapes...

Kit (as Birdie): It's going to happen again.

Cameron (as Emma): It could be a lot worse next time. Especially if apparently the only artillery they have is one hunting rifle that they use on the holiday feasts that they might have shot a bandit with. I'm not confident in their ability to provide any sort of defenses for themselves.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, even if these guys, if these bandits are like just complacent to run in with numbers and torches and look intimidating, like there's enough of them to be intimidating. I know you've been training Emma, but this is an avoidable fight.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.

Sydney (as Cassidy): We would be going in there to cause a fight. If we're doing this to better the people's lives around here. And I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't think that's a bad goal. We're not getting paid outside of the stitch that this guy may not even have if the bandits took it. We're putting our lives in danger for that.

Cameron (as Emma): Well, if the bandits took it, then it's right there once you take out the bandits.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh] And it's not like buried in the chest in the forest somewhere with some map that we're going to have to go off on a quest.

Cameron (as Emma): I don't think bandits actually do that Cassidy. I'm pretty sure that's just stories.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Emma we found - [laugh] you've been with us when we found abandoned bandit stashes.

Cameron (as Emma): So a stash is different. You're not leaving, like you're oh, here's all of the money in Grapes I just took, let me go put these in a box and not use them.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I think you would eat the grapes, but

Cameron (as Emma): Well um yeah, but like you leave stashes of ammo, or some rations that aren't going to spoil. I don't - a treasure map just seems like a little bit far fetched. But it could be fun if that did happen.

Kit: Birdie has been watching this whole conversation happen like it's a very intense ping pong match. And as time passes, she just slowly looks a bit more quizzical until she squeezes her eyes shut and just

Kit (as Birdie): You guys are really interesting mercenaries.

Cameron (as Emma): Why?

Kit (as Birdie): You're really nice.

Sydney: Cassidy just looks over.

Kit (as Birdie): I mean, I've done mercenary work and I'm not saying that I do things in like, necessarily good or bad way, but a lot of the mercenary companies I know are very strictly I do what I need to do and I will get paid one way or another. For example, if this were something for another group, I could definitely see someone just leaving the package on the doorstep and entering the person's house to just get the money they need and then leaving. You are seriously considering knocking out a whole bandit crew?

Sydney (as Cassidy): We are seriously considering knocking out a whole bandit crew for the promise of one green stitch.

Cameron (as Emma): I don't really care about the stitch.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't even know that we're gonna get the stitch.

Cameron (as Emma): I just feel bad knowing about it and having just witnessed the competent-ness?

Sydney (as Cassidy): [laugh] the lack thereof?

Cameron (as Emma): Uh yeah, exactly. I don't, I don't think anyone else is going to get him.

Sydney (as Cassidy): No.

Cameron (as Emma): And now, now the bandits have an inventor so now they will just become more powerful bandits. And that's going to hurt more people.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, that's fair.

Cameron (as Emma): So if we can stop that.

Kit (as Birdie): And it doesn't seem like you guys are very equipped to take out large numbers of people in one swoop.

Sydney (as Cassidy): We've got the Knight. I don't know what state it's in, Emma?

Cameron (as Emma): I don't think - we don't have enough fuel for it right now.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh] You're still working on that?

Cameron (as Emma): It's still distilling.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Hmm.

Cameron (as Emma): We're not going to end up with a lot of it after that either.

Kit (as Birdie): You know if you wanted to cause a panic or possible destruction and possible grave injury, I, I possibly have a way to scatter them at the very least to where we could get in and get out without having to kill them all.

Kit: And Birdie reaches behind her and grabs her bag, and she pulls it open and holds up two bottles filled with bacon grease? It smells like bacon grease.

Sydney: Cassidy raises her eyebrows with skepticism and also like curiosity.

Kit: Birdie is just smiling.

Cameron (as Emma): So just burn them out?

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.

Cameron (as Emma): You're gonna throw fire at them? That would be effective.

Kit (as Birdie): We did a stakeout and we found out which - if it's like a group of tents, or if it is actual buildings, you find out where Ananda is, you go putting these or throwing these I guess around the other places. It causes a pretty effective distraction. Fire normally does.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Do we care that these bandits are then going to be mad because everything lit on fire around them, and they're going to go off on their adventure to go take revenge on all the towns?

Kit (as Birdie): [uncomfortable noise]

Cameron (as Emma): Well so I think you mmm, start the fires to cause chaos, but prior to doing that, I think if there are any guards or patrols or anything of that sort, try to slowly pick off the group. And then, I mean I can go in in the mech suit.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah I mean, I guess the - we can save the planning of actually what's being done once we've scouted out the place. But you guys - and Birdie, you're not even, you have no stakes in this. You have no reason to go fight these guys. You're not getting paid. Why- why do you care enough to go spend your explosives on these dudes?

Kit (as Birdie): Because I'm with you guys.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh] Emma.

Cameron (as Emma): Cassidy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): You want to go do this?

Cameron (as Emma): I do not particularly desire to go and do this, but if we don't, I think I'm going to have a hard time dealing with myself.

Sydney: Cassidy sighs and looks out the window, and traces her scar for a second.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I've tried going off on these adventures for doing right things. And I've had it end really poorly. Like, if this is the thing that we want to do, it's the thing we want to do and I, I am down to go do it. But are we willing to go throw our lives in to go help these villages of people we don't know, [laugh] to go rescue this guy that we just have a package with his name on it. If that's what this - today's version of the Patina is about, I'm not opposed. It's the thing that I've done. But it's got to be worth that potential costs. So,

Kit (as Birdie): Like you said, I don't have a stake in this. I will say that I trust your judgment and if this is what you choose to do, then I am more than willing to contribute my things to whatever you think is right. And while it is definitely going out of your way for people we really don't know, it is the right thing to do morally.

Sydney (as Cassidy): And you care enough to go - you're gonna be in harm's way. You're gonna be [laugh] a member of the group that staging this raid, they will try to kill you the same way they'll probably try to kill us.

Kit (as Birdie): It's nothing new. You do jobs. I did jobs. You know, that's how it works, I guess.

Cameron (as Emma): I think we need to at least go and scope out the camp. If we get there and it's 40 people and there's - we don't stand a chance, then yeah, I'm [exhale] fine moving on there. But if it's something that we could take care of, then I'd really like to.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Even getting closer is, I mean, puts us at risk of discovery. I'm good, but I'm not flawless. So,

Cameron (as Emma): I trust you.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [sigh]

Sydney: Cassidy chews on her lip for a second looking at the two of them.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Fine. Let's do it. Let's go see what we're dealing with and if we're [deep inhale and sigh] gonna do some heroics today, soon.

Kit (as Birdie): Probably best to go once the sun's down.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.

Sydney: Cassidy starts the rig forward again.

Nick: And the rig rolls onward as the late afternoon sun drifts towards the horizon off to do something life threatening so that the Patina can live with themselves.

[hurdy gurdy music swells]

Outro: Aly (as Zee-o): End of episode. Commencing end credits. The following information will be placed in the show notes for your added convenience.

This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:

Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.

Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt.

Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.

And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support @

This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at You can find Arne at

The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.

You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: Until next time…

...Audio Offline.

[hurdy gurdy fades]


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