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Transcript: Episode 9: Fairytale and Folklore Stories

Updated: Jul 29, 2021

A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript

Episode 9: Fairytales and Folklore Stories

Transcript by Cameron Robertson

Note: Zee-o is a synthetic humanoid being and primarily speaks in a robotic, monotone voice.


[hurdy gurdy music begins]

Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of -

Drew: Drew Mierzejewski as Wyatt Fisher.

Aly: Aly Grauer as Zee-o.

Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.

Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard.

Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.

Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, with today’s messages:

The kickstarter to fund season two of the award-winning all ages friendly podcast Skyjacks: Courier's Call is live! This show is set in a fantasy world called Spéir, a world of giant birds, sky ships, adventure, danger, and folk magic inspired by the card game Illimat and the music of The Decemberists. Courier's Call features the talents of our own Drew Mierzejewski and Aly Grauer, as well as Paulomi Pratap and Aaron Catano-Saez. Head over to to check out the Kickstarter and learn more about the show! The kickstarter runs through June 11, and the link can be found in the show notes.

We’ve also got a couple new iTunes reviews! Thanks to Chris Russell and Adam Beltaine for these latest contributions. iTunes reviews are a great way for new listeners to find the show, and any good words are always appreciated.

And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into episode 9: Fairytales and Folklore Stories. And so...

Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches

To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.

[hurdy gurdy music ends]

[electronic beeping]

[robotic powerup noise begins]

Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.

[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]

[over radio]

Sydney (as Cassidy): Last time on A Knight of Shreds and Patches, the Patina rolled into Wawa, a small town on the shores of Lake Best. Emma gave a rousing introduction, Zee-o and I went to work procuring supplies - and maybe a colorful book or two, and Wyatt helped guide the local alderman to some new perspective.

[radio static]

Episode Start:

Nick: We open on the dusty and disorganized shop in Wawa. Cassidy and Zee-o are standing over by the food counter having just finished negotiating. Have you found anything of interest Zee-o?

Aly: I think anything that Cassidy is - there's no shopping carts, so Zee-o is the shopping cart. Cassidy is like oh, this this this and is handing stuff to Zee to hold. And Zee is constantly rearranging how they're holding things to be more balanced and efficient. But I think they keep glancing back through the shop around the shelves and things to see the shopkeeper organizing the chips at the front. Zee-o leans over towards Cassidy and says,

Aly (as Zee-o): I think I really made a point back there, don't you?

Sydney (as Cassidy): He definitely knows what your viewpoint is.

Aly (as Zee-o): I just don't understand. It would be very simple. It would take several minutes... at most, to organize things. Why would you not want to organize things?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Those several minutes... So uh, boredom. Boredom and frustration. [laugh]

Aly (as Zee-o): Boredom?

Sydney (as Cassidy): The amount of focus that it takes you to sit there and do something that's so... it is a thing for some people. It is actually a thing for me a little bit, my all my stuff in my bags are actually [laugh] split out and organized. But not everyone finds that pleasing. Some people just find that tedious. And if you're fine taking the extra time to search through and find whatever the thing is, or if you're someone that's... the surprise of drawing something random out of your pile of books is fun, um then you're you won't organize and then sometimes you're just lazy.

Aly (as Zee-o): I understand, I think. Except this man is a shopkeeper. He should know exactly how much of what he has and where. Am I wrong?

Sydney (as Cassidy): I think the way he thinks of it is he knows what's all in the box and they're all in the box. So he knows where they are.

Aly (as Zee-o): Is that enough?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Could be, apparently.

Aly (as Zee-o): I think I disagree with this man.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I share a similar opinion. But we do need to not totally alienate him until after we've received the merchandise that we're here for.

Aly: Zee-o makes a tiny humming sound to indicate disapproval.

Sydney (as Cassidy): You can save it, save it for the parting shot.

Aly (as Zee-o): You are right. I will save it.

Sydney: Cassidy's been sitting and looking through the selection in the shop and there's probably not a lot of interesting stuff. Cassidy's looking for a mix of fresh rations, cheeses and bread. Stuff that'll keep for a week or maybe two weeks, but it's not stuff that is good forever. And supplementing that with, you know, the jerky, the smoked and dried fish, regardless of Wyatt's opinions on it. And the hard tack and a couple of the balance between a week of fresh rations and a week or two weeks of dried rations - enough to be able to make it through two or three towns worth of stuff even without having to supplement with hunting. So that in a case like the stubborn shopkeeper, they're not entirely screwed if they have to leave the town quickly, because something went wrong, because that has happened before.

Nick: And I think this shop has a decent range. Like you all so carefully observed, this seems to be the only real store in town. So there's some cheese, there's some bread, none of it looks super fresh. But there's an icebox here and they have some supplies as well as some what looks like prepackaged meals. You haven't seen those in a while, but you know they hold up well. And those usually cost a little bit more, but they don't really expire, so they're useful in a pinch, even if they're not the most delicious things ever.

Sydney: And I think Cassidy also looks past the pure staples to like, is there anything regional that is not something that she's tried before like some kind of spice or some kind of preparation of something and there isn't always in the small towns, but she wants to see what food is here and that may be end up being a question she's got to ask the shopkeep. So Cassidy has finished sorting through the staples and the stuff that needs to be bought just for sustenance sake, and starts looking around for something signature and doesn't immediately see it and sighs and then straightens her back, puts her shoulders back and walks back up to the counter.

Aly: Zee-o follows with their arms laden with stuff.

Sydney (as Cassidy): We've got stuff here.

Sydney: And Cassidy puts her forearms up on the counter in front of this guy.

Drew (as shopkeep): All right then. This is all look like it's pretty good.

Sydney (as Cassidy): So here's a question. Do you have something that you're, in particular, proud of food wise? Something that the Wawa signature dish or the shop signature dish something that we can take as a memento of our time here.

Drew (as shopkeep): Well~. I have been working on something. Maybe you'd like to see it.

Drew: And he reaches under the counter and he brings out a tin pot. And the tin pot, so it's sealed at the top and there's a rip cord on it. And he goes

Drew (as shopkeep): So what you do with one of these is you put all your ingredients in the top, right? And then what you do is you take water,

Drew: And he goes over and he gets like a pitcher of water and he pours a bunch of water in there and that he takes a couple of things from what you guys have brought - puts a potato and some jerky and you know he takes an onion and breaks it in half with his bare hands and puts it in there and he covers the top. He grabs the bottom of it and gives us a firm pull there's a vvvvvvvvv and a bunch of steam comes out and you can see the thing flash boil basically and then he waits three seconds and there's a ding and he pops the top and there's now soup in it.

Drew (as shopkeep): It uh, almost like a like a like an instinct cook. It's good for rations you know put some hot tack, some jerky, some water, maybe some gravy and bouillon, whatever you want in there. And immediately you got yourself a meal.

Sydney: Cassidy looks very excited by this. This is something very convenient that could save a lot of cook and camp prep time.

Drew (as shopkeep): Now I make these myself, so I only have like five or six.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Does it run on fuel or...

Drew (as shopkeep): Nothing! Until you wear out the, the cord here, but then you have to get another one I guess. I can put in an extra cord if you'd like to be a little bit extra. You see I'm good friends with the uh, the Advent in town and we kind of cooked up this thing together. [laugh]

Aly (as Zee-o): It is impressive.

Drew (as shopkeep): Oh thank you. Thank you very much.

Aly (as Zee-o): And efficient.

Drew (as shopkeep): Oh why thank you. Thank you very much.

Aly: Zee-o looks pointedly at Cassidy.

Sydney: Cassidy's running the mental arithmetic on how much money she's got in the purse. I think she's got the communal Quartermaster purse. How much she has in squares, which is not a lot because they spent so much time near Allium lately. Trying to figure out okay, well, what do we what do we have to work with here? Cassidy, having run the mental arithmetic, stretches her lips across your teeth in a flat, doesn't quite have it face and goes,

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, we we've got the squares to pay for the staples that we've got here.

Drew (as shopkeep): That's good.

Sydney (as Cassidy): We do not have this much squares beyond that. What is your opinion on Allium spheres?

Drew (as shopkeep): [laugh] I don't work much in Allium. I don't get down there a lot either.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Because we... outside of that, I mean,

Drew (as shopkeep): Well, I guess it's just not your day then.

Drew: And he takes it and he's gonna go put it on the shelf. It's still full of soup.

Aly: Zee-o reaches out and, doesn't grab the shopkeeper, but puts a light touch on his elbow. Just a tap, and then retracts their hand before too much pressure is applied or anything like that. And they say,

Aly (as Zee-o): I beg your pardon? Would it be useful to you, in barter or trade, for us to assist you with organizing your shop?

Sydney (as Cassidy): I do notice that you're sitting there and filtering through those books.

Drew (as shopkeep): Well~

Drew: The camera pans back to see the rest of the shop. It's a mess. It is just, um the fact that you found the food is good enough. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to why - this place is part shop, but it's also part workshop, and it looks like maybe gambling den. There's a lot going on in this little room.

Drew (as shopkeep): I-I-I can find everything here. I think - I don't think I need to be -

Drew: And there's a voice from the back that goes,

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Don't you do that.

Drew (as shopkeep): Don't I do what?

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): You tell them yes. You-you tell them yes.

Drew (as shopkeep): Tell them yes to what? What they're going to organize my place? We don't have a week.

Aly (as Zee-o): It will not take a week.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Anything~ would help.

Drew (as shopkeep): Look sugar dumpling, uh

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Don't you sugar dumplin me. You get this shop cleaned up. They offered to help you, you trade with them.

Drew (as shopkeep): Yes, my dear. Ye-yes. Uh,

Drew: And he turns around and goes.

Drew (as shopkeep): Alright, if you can - here, here's what we're gonna do. If you can organize this place in the next hour and a half. I will give you a pot.

Aly: Zee-o looks at Cassidy.

Sydney: Cassidy's running mental arithmetic again.

Aly: I think at this point Zee-o knows better than to say something without Cassidy nodding first.

Sydney: I think Cassidy makes eye contact with Zee-o looking into the lights in the back of the hood for a sign of a particular direction to take this.

Aly: I think Zee-o - one light goes out and then comes back on. That goes completely against my programming. But they've figured out a way to make it work because it's a physical thing they can do to signify something.

Nick: You half run an internal diagnostic, but cancel it before it gets too far. Like it's working around the way the system works.

Aly: Yes. Yes.

Sydney: So Cassidy sees this light off and on and nods to herself and turns back and goes,

Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, we'll take an hour and a half. And we'll we'll make a pass at organizing the shop. But any time of that hour and a half, if we you know happen to finish organizing, we get to spend it reading books.

Drew (as shopkeep): All right, then, I guess.

Aly: Zee-o stands up a little straighter.

Sydney (as Cassidy): And we want the pot, because it's advertising for you and we're working for it.

Drew (as shopkeep): Yeah, I said, I will give you a pot if you can do this in an hour and a half. That's part of the deal and you have to give me the squares for the rest of your stuff.

Sydney: Cassidy just digs into her pocket, keeps it behind the jacket and pulls out the squares as these things are probably either priced on the thing or

Drew: I imagine so.

Sydney: Here's a stack of like two big ones and five small ones. And Cassidy had eyeballed it. And it's it's like 5% under what the market value would be. But she's banking on the fact that they're going to totally revolutionize this guy's shop that he's not gonna say anything about that little piece because he doesn't think they can do it.

Nick: And one thing you notice Cassidy as you dig this amount of money out and you make your play is that this is the last of your squares. While you do still have some discretionary funds in the pot, this is the last of your squares. And so if you're going to be in this area for longer, you're going to need to find a paying job.

Drew (as shopkeep): All right. I think we have a deal then.

Drew: The shopkeep reaches over, he takes the squares. He does like a tiddlywinks thing with them, he presses down on one and has it flip, he goes,

Drew (as shopkeep): No, that's good.

Drew: And takes them and puts them in his pocket and goes.

Drew (as shopkeep): So get to it. You got an hour and a half.

Aly: Zee-o sets down all of the other supplies on the counter where they had been holding them throughout this whole conversation. They set them down on the counter neatly and they look pointedly at the shopkeeper and say,

Aly (as Zee-o): Thank you for allowing us to help you.

Aly: And then they turn around and they go to the front of the shop to work their way backwards.

Sydney: Yeah, and Cassidy goes back towards the food, having just browsed it and already has an idea of what things she would move. [laughs]

Nick: So Zee-o you intend to organize this entire shop by the book, no motion will be wasted. You're going to put everything to where it needs to go in a way that anyone could understand how to find something. So make me a Classical Knowledge roll. And then Cassidy if you were helping for your side of things, if you want to make a Perception check or add a blue die to Zee-o's roll, both of those are options for you. The difficulty is going to be average,

Aly: I have no ranks in Classical but my Intellect is four.

Nick: So four greens in two purples.

Sydney: And Cassidy is going to help. Cassidy is going to follow Zee-o's lead on this because Zee-o knows what they're doing. So Cassidy is just going to add a blue die on to what Zee-o's roll is.

Nick: Cool.

Aly: Four advantages, one failure.

Nick: This is even worse than you originally assessed, you keep moving things and finding more things that don't make sense behind them. So just the physical limitations. With that dice roll, cleaning this place up is going to take a really long time. So while you’re working on that, let’s cut over to Emma.

Emma, this tall figure is making his slow but steady way towards you. And as he gets closer, you see that it's a very pale man. There are dark bags under his eyes and what looks like a tracery of tattoos on either cheek that look almost like circuit boards. And he's got long, thin fingers with swollen joints, and he is plodding towards you in oversized boots, and seems dead set on getting as close to the rig as possible. And you look away and work on your radio and then you look back and he's just slightly closer. And it's like when you're in a room, and you know that there's a spider on the wall. And you don't want to kill the spider but you can't not look at it in case it moves again, it just forces all of your attention towards this guy coming towards you.

Cameron: After like the third or fourth time of glancing up and realizing that he still has his eyes locked on the rig and is still just walking directly towards it, Emma hooks the walkie talkie to her belt and climbs down from the top of the truck and just leans nonchalantly against it but now is staring at him as well.

Nick: And as he gets close enough, he doesn't seem affected by the fact that you're now staring at him. And you can see that his eyes are sliding over the rig and to the surrounding square to take it all in but keeps locking back with you. And he finally gets close enough to speak and slows to a stop. There's a little poof of dust in the spot of flat ground where he stands. And he says

Nick (as Modem): You have a signal.

Cameron (as Emma): What?

Nick (as Modem): A signal I detected it as you entered town. There is something greater about you than this truck, which is already impressive. You possess wild tech.

Cameron (as Emma): Ummm...

Cameron: Emma starts glancing around looking towards the main building where Wyatt went to and to the shop where Cassidy and Zee-o are now cleaning at the front of the store?

Nick : Yeah, you could see them moving around inside organizing everything. They're too far for you to yell. And you don't want to draw more attention to yourself by calling further. The door to the main building where Wyatt disappeared remains resolutely shut. And he looks at you and on his staff that he's holding that appears to be different bolts that have been welded together by rust. You can see that there's a small box hanging from a leather strap off the top of it and it rattles a little as he shakes the staff and he says,

Nick (as Modem): The Oracle does not lie. I have detected the signal. As you entered town. You possess wild tech.

Cameron (as Emma): What signal?

Nick: He smiles broadly and you can see that there's a couple of teeth missing. And though it's chilly outside, this person looks almost hypothermic, you can see their veins in their arms as they reach out and their arm sticks out of their loose shirt. And he walks a little closer and he says

Nick (as Modem): The Oracle detected the signal.

Nick: And holds up - It looks like an old cassette player. But there's an LCD screen slightly cracked on the front that has broadening concentric arches. There's five concentric arches, sort of like a rainbow and the first three are filled in. And he says,

Nick (as Modem): The background technology of this area is a one at most. When you entered there was a three. Wild tech.

Cameron (as Emma): That's the Oracle?

Nick (as Modem): Yes, the Oracle device. It detects information. I, I apologize, I do not speak to people frequently these days, I remain on the outskirts of town unless I am needed for, ughhhh, boat engines.

Cameron (as Emma): I'm sorry?

Nick (as Modem): I am employed by the town of Wawa to maintain the engines of their fishing vessels. It is greasy work, not something that interests me nearly as much as whatever your payload is in your well developed truck. And the Oracle has said that there is a signal. I realize that I'm repeating myself.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay.

Nick (as Modem): The Oracle, it's this device here.

Cameron (as Emma): Uh huh.

Nick (as Modem): It it detects wireless signals.

Nick: He looks at you expectantly, like with a half smile on his face, like excited and hoping that you'll share his enthusiasm.

Cameron (as Emma): What uh... So wireless signals mean, wild tech?

Nick: Oftentimes, yes. There is very little classical technology still functioning that could admit a signal of this strength.

Cameron (as Emma): Is a three high?

Nick (as Modem): I have seen the Oracle register a four but once in my life. And that was recently, and great tragedy befell me. A three is a wonderful occurrence. I hope that your band will be qualified to assist me.

Cameron (as Emma): What was the four?

Nick: That's actually what I'm hoping that your band will help me with. I was in the woods near town, and the Oracle registered a four.

Cameron (as Emma): Uh huh.

Nick (as Modem): And I was forced to abandon my assistant in the woods as I was pursued by many technological creatures that were territorial of the area. I'm hoping that someone would help me to rescue my assistant.

Cameron (as Emma): Uhhh okay. How far, where in the woods?

Nick (as Modem): We can speak details in a minute.

Cameron (as Emma): I - okay.

Nick (as Modem): I think that formal introductions are in order. My name is Modem. As I said, I am the Advent of this small town. And what is your name? What is the name of the band with which you travel?

Cameron (as Emma): Well, I'm Emma, and you're a bit late to hear the speech earlier, but guess we can go through it again. We're the Patina, and we are mercenaries and we are here to do jobs and assist the area.

Cameron: Gestures vaguely to just the surrounding area with her arms.

Nick: He nods. And you can't tell if he's listening or not because his eyes have fixated on the radio that you were fiddling with earlier that you're holding in one hand. And he says,

Nick (as Modem): Oh, you too possess an interest in mechanics. I see that, is that radio functioning?

Cameron: Emma holds it up.

Cameron (as Emma): Almost. I'm just missing one piece for it, but it's almost there.

Nick (as Modem): Do you mind if I take a look?

Cameron (as Emma): Uhhhh Sure?

Nick: And as you hand over the handheld radio, he pops the back off with surprising agility considering how slowly he was walking earlier. His fingers seem really live and dexterous as he pops the back open and takes a quick assessing look at it and he says

Nick (as Modem): Oh, you're just missing the power source.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.

Nick: It looks like this one burned out. Have you removed the corrosion already?

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah it didn't help.

Nick (as Modem): Yes, well, I happen to have one that I'm not using - as a show of good faith.

Nick: And he reaches into a pocket and pulls out a square small power source. You don't see these very often let alone one functioning but this one looks like it has scratches around the terminals where it's been recharged several times and he pops it in, pulls a small screwdriver out of his pocket and tightens it down and then pulls a roll of tape out of another pocket, pulls off a hefty strip and tightens the battery into place. Then slaps the cover of the back back on and turns the knob and you can hear static emanating from it as the radio springs to life. And you can even hear faint music coming from what sounds like the radio station at Tree All Mountain.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh Cool. That's handy that you had an extra of those. I was gonna have to try and track one down.

Nick (as Modem): An Advent is always prepared to help with technology.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay. Umm - sorry, I'm new here. What's an Advent?

Nick (as Modem): An Advent? A wizard.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh-kay.

Nick (as Modem): I am a wizard of technology. A member of the Advantia. Surely you've heard of us.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah so you're, you're saying a lot of words. And I mean, I've heard of wizards in like, fairy tale and folklore stories that my parents would tell us before we went to bed. Um I'm afraid I'm missing the rest of your vocabulary here.

Nick: He thinks for a second and puts his hands in his pockets, you can tell he's idly touching different spare parts and things you can hear them jingling around. And he leans in a little bit towards you because he's a lot taller than you so he leans down towards you and smiles wide. And he says,

Nick (as Modem): We are not so fantastical in the Advantia. We are a society that collects knowledge and helps the world to function as it is now. I, for instance, am unfortunately called to work on single stroke, diesel evinrude engines.

Cameron (as Emma): Hmm.

Nick (as Modem): They're used on fishing vessels.

Cameron (as Emma): I - yeah I gathered that from how you were complaining about the fishing boats earlier. So gatherers of specifically technological knowledge?

Nick (as Modem): Yes, the mysteries of the Advantia are not known to all, but suffice it to say that members of my order help society and towns such as this one. We collect knowledge and we pass it on. And we ask little in return.

Cameron (as Emma): Huh so okay, well, I guess you learn something new every day. There's apparently an order of wizards that exists.

Nick: And he smiles. He says,

Nick (as Modem): I understand that if you're not familiar with my order that might sound... a little weird. But I do require your assistance.

Cameron (as Emma): With the four.

Nick (as Modem): With the four. Yes, you are catching on. Maybe someday you will join the Advantia.

Cameron (as Emma): Um okay. Sure. Maybe. I don't know. Uh I-I feel like I haven't actually learned much from any of your answers here. But that that's fine. I can have one of my friends explain it to me later. Um

Nick (as Modem): My assistant.

Cameron (as Emma): Yes, your assistant and this four that was creatures you said?

Nick (as Modem): Yes. A cloud of horrifying creatures, wild tech forced me to abandon my assistant on the north side of the lake. I cannot go back - they can somehow detect intruders. But if you are mercenaries, perhaps you could rescue my assistant before anything untoward happens to them.

Cameron (as Emma): So, so two questions. At least that's all I have at the moment. I believe. One, I guess this actually isn't a question, tell me more about your assistant. And then two, which is actually a question, how would we get paid for this rescue mission?

Nick (as Modem): My assistant is a virtual companion housed within a tablet device. They are the ones that helped me with the research I truly care about and my notes are within. We must get it back. My promotion in the Advantia is dependent upon it.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay, so you lost your tablet.

Nick (as Modem): My my assistant.

Cameron (as Emma): Mhmm. Yeah we're saying the same thing.

Nick: And he smiles again and says

Nick (as Modem): Advents such as myself are not without resources. I can pay you in Tree All squares.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay, but I was I was expecting more of like quantity of them, not just - like I need I need specifics or I'm gonna get in trouble, okay?

Nick (as Modem): You can tell your leader that I am offering nine large squares. That should be more than enough.

Nick: So nine large squares is enough to buy five months of supplies. So like that's enough basically to refill the stockpile and to ensure that you don't have to take other jobs on your way to Eagle Hill.

Cameron (as Emma): All right. Well, um you know, I don't think I have final say on if we take your job or not, but I'd love to help you find your tablet.

Nick (as Modem): My assistant?

Cameron (as Emma): Uh huh. Yeah. We would love to rescue your assistant from the four.

Nick (as Modem): Yes, my assistant.

Cameron (as Emma): Mhmm. Yeah.

Nick (as Modem): I am unable to offer more that is a majority of my living stipend from the Advantia. But -

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, I didn't say that that wasn't enough. I just said that I don't think I'm in charge.

Nick: And you hear the sputtering of an engine as a boat down by the lake tries to start and then backfires and dies. And Modem's eyes dart away into that direction, then look back to you. And he says,

Nick (as Modem): [long sigh]

Cameron (as Emma): Do you need to go fix the boat?

Nick: My services are required lakeside. I will return to receive your answer.

Cameron (as Emma): All right, I will be here. Have fun.

Nick: And he turns and you could see just the weight on his shoulders as he walks slowly towards the lake. And it's more than just the weight of his pack. He is weighed down by the world around him. And you can hear him grumbling a little to himself about uh oxygen intakes and spark plugs. But you don't understand exactly what he's saying from that distance.

Cameron (as Emma): Emma gives a sympathetic-ish look, but there's some confusion mixed in there as well, towards Modem as he walks away, and then turns up the radio, that's now working, a bit. Walks back over to the cab of the truck, reaches through the window, grabs the romance novel and climbs back up to the top and starts reading while listening to music.

[banjo music playing]

Aly (as radio personality): Okay, there, folks, we're coming back to you for a full hour here of your classic bluegrass jazz. We're happy to announce that the fundraiser last week for the Lakeside Little Ones and their fun activities for the winter are all set to go. The fundraiser was a rousing success and all of the local towns have gathered to make sure that the little ones have activities to get them through the winter. It's important to remember that community is really all we have sometimes, isn't it? It's a really healthy reminder that even if it just means getting outside and remembering that your neighbors are there and they have your back, it's just a really great thing to do. And if you missed out on that fundraiser, don't worry, we'll be having another one next season.

Next week, we are predicting that we will have a cold snap. So get ready to bring out those winter furs, those thicker woolen coats, and to all of our friends and neighbors who have sheep, get ready to harvest that wool. We're going to be doing a knit-a-thon down at the community center next week in preparation for that cold snap and there will be warm and hot drinks served under the canopy down by the lake as well. Make sure that you do keep an eye on your crops and your vegetable gardens as the cold snap can really interrupt their growth patterns. So make sure that you are irrigating properly, and that you have those heat lamps ready and available as needed. And cover those shrubs right? Cover those shrubs with blankets as needed. Sometimes the cold snap comes with a little bit of snow as we all know, and a little blanket over some of your flower beds can really make a world of difference. And now we're gonna get to that full hour uninterrupted, of your classic favorites. And as always, I'm your cozy host Catherine McGuire, and this is MTR 1153.

[bluegrass music starts playing then fades out]

Nick: So we're going to cut away to Wyatt. Wyatt you find a side door on this building that leads out onto the lake shore and towards this small shack where Wilfred had indicated that you could go to speak to Mrs. Kilburn and get some fuel for the rig.

Drew: So we see Wyatt coming out of the main building, he looks rather pleased with himself. He readjust his coat and adjust his hat and walks down the steps. And he's walking down the road and he looks over and he sees Cassidy and Zee-o organizing a store? And he looks over there and he's not looking where he's going when he hits somebody.

Drew (as Wyatt): Hey what - Watch where you're going.

Nick: And there's this very tall, thin man with a shaved head and bags under his eyes carrying a heavy pack. And he says,

Nick (as Modem): My apologies, I was just headed to the lakeside. I did not mean to interrupt your reverie.

Drew (as Wyatt): That's fine.

Nick (as Modem): Excuse me.

Nick: And he steps back and just watches patiently for you to continue on your way.

Drew: And I feel like Wyatt looks over, he holds up two fingers and he swipes left.

Nick: So you hold two fingers up to shoulder height and move your fingers quickly to the left. And he nods to you with a flicker of recognition, holds his hand up at shoulder height and flicks his two fingers to the right. And you're able to continue on your way. Lets cut over to Cassidy and Zee-o.

This shop is a disaster. It's even worse than you thought it was and you already had a pretty low opinion of the organizational system. As you dove into the different piles you saw that they had changed over time, like geological formations. You've done what you can, and the shopkeeper watched pretty closely at the beginning before realizing how long it was going to take and wandered away. And even without his interference and complaining, you realize that this isn't going to work. There's no way you're going to be able to finish this. The shop ends up way better than it is. But it is in no way complete.

Aly: At the end of the hour and a half. We have at least moved all like to like stuff, but that some of the sections of like things are not displayed nicely. They're just kind of assembled.

Nick: Yes, the shop is organized like to like it, but it isn't complete. And the shopkeeper from behind the counter where he's been watching, pretty impressed, but didn't seem that worried about things, marks that an hour and a half has gone by.

Drew: Yeah and I feel like a timer goes off and our shopkeep friend is finishing up eating the soup that he made. And he puts it down and he goes

Drew (as shopkeep): Well then, shall we look around and see what you have done?

Drew: Then he takes a walk around the shop with you. And every so often, he'll be like

Drew (as shopkeep): Humm I don't like this.

Drew: And he moves it to a different place. And he goes

Drew (as shopkeep): Well, this is mostly done. But there's this whole section over here you didn't get done and well, I-I will say you did a good job, but it's not good enough, my friends. I am terribly sorry, but it's not good enough.

Cameron: The shopkeepers' wife walks out from the backroom. Slightly on the shorter side, she has frizzy red hair, and she looks like the mom of the best friend you always went to after school who would have cookies ready when you walked in. That type of aura is happening around her. And you can tell by her dress that she has been cleaning and stuff in the back and moving stuff around, she's pretty dirty. She comes out.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Oh my gosh, this is so much better.

Drew (as shopkeep): Oh I wouldn't say so much better my-

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Did you see the place before?

Drew (as shopkeep): It was done pretty well if I'm gonna say so myself.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): No, you're not.

Drew (as shopkeep): Well-

Sydney: Cassidy has to look the other way and doesn't manage to stifle the giggle.

Drew (as shopkeep): Well, they didn't finish in time.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Okay, well, so what are you giving them?

Drew (as shopkeep): Nothing.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Uh-th- Did you look, look at all of this? No - you're giving them something.

Drew (as shopkeep): But, but I just - I jus- [sigh]

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Look, you know, sweet potato they did such a good job. You have to give them something, maybe don't - okay, so you were gonna give them the pot. Right?

Drew (as shopkeep): Well, they were asking for the pot, but I'm not giving it to them now.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Oh- Yeah, I wasn't saying do that. You're given them something though.

Drew (as shopkeep): All right. All right.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): You pay people when they work for you.

Drew (as shopkeep): [sigh] You're right. You're right my dear, okay.

Drew: And he goes behind the counter, and he reaches down. And he pulls out what looks similar to that instant cook pot, but it's obviously not as good, for lack of a better term. It's obviously a prototype. It's the one that he and the Advent made before they finalized the design. So there's maybe, the pot is not so good as it is on the other one. There's a couple of parts that look like it's kind of scorched in places and it's kind of poorly welded. He's like,

Drew (as shopkeep): This is a prototype we made beforehand, and it's not very good. It will do the job, but it's a bit finicky. I can give you this and maybe a book.

Sydney: Cassidy looks at Zee-o and then looks at the shop and the difference they made and the difference between where they ended and where she'd been picturing it ending. And looks back to the shopkeeper and acquiesces with a nod.

Drew (as shopkeep): Very good.

Drew: He slides it over to you.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): See, that wasn't that hard.

Drew (as shopkeep): Oh, you're right. You're right my dear. Wasn't that hard.

Sydney: And I guess yeah, well, we'll take a look through the books.

Drew (as shopkeep): All right, just one. Just one now.

Drew: And he pulls out the box and it is organized, but by color. And the chips are see through plastic and you can see the wiring on the inside of it.

Nick: So the shopkeeper and his wife good naturedly argue and walk in into the back room as you dig through these book chips and Zee-o organizing this shop made you remember something. You're not sure where it came from, but it really distracted you and you're having trouble shaking that memory even now.

Aly: So I think as Cassidy starts looking at the book chips, Zee-o is still standing still where they were a foot away or whatever. And their head is tilted to one side and their focus is towards the ground as though they're listening to something, is the physicality of what that looks like.

Sydney: Cassidy is flipping idly through these chips, seeing if anything catches her eye, and then squints and looks back over her shoulder at Zee-o because Zee-o, the boundless fount of energy, so excited to see these books isn't looking at them. And she looks back at Zee-o and goes,

Sydney (as Cassidy): You okay?

Aly: There's no response for a moment.

Sydney (as Cassidy): There's books here to look through. Remember when that was a thing you wanted to do, like two minutes ago?

Aly: The glow in Zee-o's eyes flickers for a second in a way that is not intentional.

Sydney: Cassidy pushes herself backup off the counter and walks over to Zee-o and does the hand wavy in front of the face.

Aly: There's a delay, but after Cassidy stops waving her hand Zee-o's head tilts back up, and they stand upright, and their gaze seems normal.

Aly (as Zee-o): Cassidy.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Welcome back. Where'd you go?

Aly: They glance around the shop as though they forgot where they were for a moment. And then they look at Cassidy.

Aly (as Zee-o): Cassidy. What does it feel like to be hungry?

Sydney: Cassidy knits her eyebrows together for a second.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Eee your stomach - I this is gonna be hard because you probably don't have concepts for these. I was gonna say your stomach feels empty. You're, at least for me, my temper flares quicker. Um my energy's a little bit low.

Aly: Zee-o stares blankly back at Cassidy. And as Cassidy speaks, one of Zee-o's hands moves to where their stomach would be if they had one and touches that part of their body as they're thinking about it.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Does that explanation make sense? Or what? What do you What are you looking for with that question?

Aly (as Zee-o): For a moment I, I thought - I thought I felt something. I wanted to know if it was hunger.

Sydney (as Cassidy): What did you feel?

Sydney: And Cassidy casts the look back to the back room where the couple is, just making sure they're not in immediate danger of walking right back in.

Aly: Zee-o turns around and looks at the shop partly organized as it is and then reaches out and runs one of their fingertips along one of the shelves as though trying to retrace their steps.

Aly (as Zee-o): I remembered. I thought I felt - I remembered being in another shop a long time ago.

Sydney: Cassidy does the puppy head tilt 'hmm?' gesture.

Aly: And then Zee-o turns back and looks at Cassidy blankly.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Hey, are y'all still looking at those books?

Cameron: And the shopkeeper's wife comes back out.

Aly: Zee-o straightens up and moves back toward the counter where the books are.

Aly (as Zee-o): Yes, there are many of them.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Yeah, my husband's rather a collector. Um,

Sydney (as Cassidy): Where does he find these?

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): You know, I just I just don't ask. Um I just read them when they get here. Do you need a recommendation? There are a lot to look through and he does not have them labeled well.

Aly (as Zee-o): I offered to help organize those as well. He refused.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): [deep breath] Well. I'll talk to him about that later. But I'd be happy to recommend a book to y'all, what type of book are you looking for?

Aly: Zee-o considers.

Aly (as Zee-o): I have read several romance novels.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): HmmMmm.

Aly (as Zee-o): They are confusing and surprisingly consistent. Totally, I mean.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Yeah well, that's why we like them, though.

Aly (as Zee-o): It is incredibly formulaic.

Sydney: Cassidy's shaking her head off to the side a little bit.

Aly (as Zee-o): But it is fascinating regardless. What do you recommend from your husband's collection?

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Well, let's see.

Cameron: And she starts fingering through looking at the books that are now color sorted. And pulls out a green one.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): This one's nice. This one is called um - I think this is the right one. Yeah. This one is called Song of a Maid. It is just it's just this is just going to depend on how raunchy you want these books to go. There's also this one, that's one of his favorites called Love and Leather. Whi-Which, I mean, you're right. They are quite formulaic, so like, there's not really a difference, but I will tell you this one

Cameron: and she waves Love and Leather a little bit.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): This one's...uh more intense. We'll say.

Aly: Zee-o glances at Cassidy and then back at the shopkeeper's wife and says,

Aly (as Zee-o): What other genres do you possess?

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Oh, there's all sorts of stuff in here.

Sydney: Cassidy's just biting her lip trying to not give anything away.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Let's see, we got there's there's history books, there's how to books...

Aly (as Zee-o): History?

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Mmhm!

Aly (as Zee-o): What time period of history?

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife)

Oh, it's pretty random. They're mostly uh - a lot of them tend to be like local historical guides of the towns up here. I'm guessing for those travelers brought them in. But I mean, there's there's some from the the big cities too. Do you - It's probably easier if you just tell me like, which time period and area and then that because there there's more boxes down underneath the desk.

Aly (as Zee-o): What about large scale history?

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): So just like history of the world?

Aly (as Zee-o): Yes.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Um, yeah, there's a couple of those. Hold on.

Cameron: She ducks down underneath and pulls out a couple more shoe box size boxes.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Okay, now, these aren't even color sorted. So one second.

Aly: Zee-o looks at Cassidy again.

Aly (as Zee-o): You see? He had more books.

Sydney (as Cassidy): How? Well, at least we're getting a chance to take a look at the broader collection now. And thank you for your help, miss.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Oh, yeah, no problem. Um, okay. So I think these five right here are gonna be the most general history. This one right here is going to go back the farthest probably. And then like all the rest of these, going from left to right tend to just start earlier. Like more recent times.

Aly (as Zee-o): I see.

Aly: Zee-o looks back and forth at the options and then picks up the one that goes back the furthest.

Aly (as Zee-o): This will do.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): All right, fantastic. Well, you enjoy that.

Aly (as Zee-o): Thank you.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): All right. You kids need, you kids need anything else?

Aly (as Zee-o): I believe we have everything we need. Cassidy?

Sydney (as Cassidy): We got all the food. We got all the staples. We got our book. We got the pot. Thank you again for your help with that one.

Sydney: And she does a little bit of a fancy gesture evoking a bow but not anywhere near actually a bow.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): No problem. I am happy to help y'all. You made such a huge difference in here. Um it's gonna be much easier for him to finish getting this done now that y'all've started.

Sydney (as Cassidy): There was a lot of stuff.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Yes~.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Uhh [laugh] And then there was stuff under the stuff.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): Yes...

Aly (as Zee-o): Thank you again.

Aly: Zee-o picks up some of the supplies that they've got on the counter and tucks the book chip away into a pocket and starts toward the door.

Sydney: Yeah and Cassidy scoops up everything that's left.

Cameron (as shopkeep's wife): All right, y'all have a good day.

Nick: And we see Cassidy and Zee-o exit this store and, even though you lost the bet, you’re not sure whether you or the shopkeeper got the better deal. And we zoom out away from the town of Wawa and the Patina scattered throughout the area. Making more impact than they know.

[hurdy gurdy music swells]


Aly (as Zee-o): End of episode. Commencing end credits. The following information will be placed in the show notes for your added convenience.

This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:

Drew Mierzejewski as Wyatt. Drew can be found on Twitter @worldstoforge and is the showrunner for Skyjacks: Courier’s Call, an all-ages actual play podcast set in the world of Spéir, designed by James D’Amato.

Aly Grauer as Zee-o. Aly can be found on Twitter and Instagram @dreamstobecome. Aly is also a player on and audio editor for Skyjacks: Courier’s Call. You can support both Aly and Drew by joining their Patreon @

Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt.

Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.

And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support

This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet. You can find Dora at with two Ts.

The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @rashedjrs.

You can follow the Patina on Twitter @akosap_podcast or visit the website:

Until next time…

...Audio Offline.

[hurdy gurdy fades]


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