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Transcript: Season 2 Episode 12: Who’d Want to Ever Try and Harm Such a Good Little Situation

A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript Season 2 Episode 12: Who’d Want to Ever Try and Harm Such a Good Little Situation Transcript by Cameron Robertson

Intro: [hurdy gurdy music begins]

Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –

Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger.

Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling.

Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.

Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard.

Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.

Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:

Happy Thursday! Thanks for being a listener, and thanks for being you. That’s right, you. You’re the best. Don’t let the world get you down. You got this. And if you ever want to come and hang out with some of the other best folks, drop by our discord, where we hang out together and have a whole channel dedicated to sharing romance novel recommendations, and not only those featuring wet chests.

And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 2, Episode 12: Who’d Want to Ever Try and Harm Such a Good Little Situation. And so...

Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.

[hurdy gurdy music ends]

[electronic beeping] [robotic powerup noise begins] Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection. [robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]

[over radio] Penn (as Marathon): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we did some cool mercenary recon work on the lowercase i shaped town of Iota. Patina classic went up to check on the fortress at the tip of the town. Meanwhile, Birdie and I made some super spy-like connections in the bar in town. While I was taking care of just a little tiny hangover, we all met together to start our cool epic master plan to take back Iota from the bandits. [radio static]

Episode Start: Nick: We open on a mid afternoon sun beaming down hotly despite the early spring, as we see the village of Iota spread out beneath us. The town is ringed by these large signal towers strung together with cables running along the ground. There's a fortress perched upon a low hill, we can see bandits heavily armored and armed patrolling the walls, although they are sparse compared to the size of the fortification. This village has obviously been under attack in the recent past, and the few people that you can see walking around look nervous - not afraid for their immediate future, but afraid for what may come. And as we zoom down, we see Birdie, some yards away from the front gates of this fortress, standing alone on the dirt road, and she appears to be having a conversation with herself.

Kit: Birdie is wearing what looks to be a small, I'm just gonna say it's a Walkman. Emma took this old CD player and modified it into Birdie's own personal radio that's - it can pass as a lot of different things, so it's not the most conspicuous of accessories on her person. And she looks around as if she's kind of self conscious before being like

Kit (as Birdie): [over radio] [whispering] The Eagle has landed.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Eagle, Cormorant. Confirmed, have fun.

Kit (as Birdie): [over radio] [quietly] Okay, does it look weird that I'm like, I'm just talking to myself.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] I mean, the longer you do it, yes.

Kit (as Birdie): [over radio] Shit. Okay.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] We'll give you 15 minutes and then we'll come knock the door down.

Kit (as Birdie): [over radio] [excited panic] Okay! Okay.

Kit: Birdie is gonna start walking a little faster towards the doors and she's just under her breath like,

Kit (as Birdie): [under breath] Janus always said if you just act like you belong somewhere, then people will believe you. Okay. [fortifying breath] Okay.

Kit: And she's just gonna, very smilingly walk up to the guard nearest to the doors.

Nick: There's only one man manning the gate. It is barely cracked open and this guy is standing in front of it. He appears to be wider than he is tall. He has, as far as you can tell, no neck. He is wearing a boiled leather helmet that touches his shoulders on either side and hangs low over his face to where you can barely see his eyes. He appears to be very strong and has a large machete hanging from his belt and what looks like a heavy crossbow clutched in his hands. You do notice as you walk towards him that it appears to be loaded and ready to fire at a moment's notice. And as you get closer, he holds up a hand.

Kit: Birdie stops and puts both of her hands up and is still smiling while just saying

Kit: [country western accent back in full swing] Well hi there.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] Nobody can enter the gates.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Ah, well, you see I was uh, I'm actually a friend of Elvira's and I was just wondering if I could just pop in and see her really quick.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] Oh, you're a friend of Elvira's? That's so sweet. When did you two meet? I don't care. Nobody enters the gates.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Well, how rude. Well, you know, I could call up Elvira right now and report you for being so rude to me.

Nick: He pauses for just a second. You can see the wheels turning in this guy's head. His jowls droop a little but he straightens up.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] Well, the good news there is that Elvira is not in charge of this company. That would be Cougar. You know, the warlord who took this entire town. It's very nice that you've made a connection with one of my cohorts but not nice enough that I can let you into a secure facility.

Kit: Birdie's just gonna tap her foot a few times, look one more time around for other people, and then she's going to very quickly whip out her hockey stick and just try and hit him right in the neck between where his uniform is and his helmet ends.

Nick: Okay, go ahead and roll me that Melee attack. You can have three blue die because he is extremely not prepared for this. This is somebody that really seemed confident in their physique and their position as gate guard.

Kit: All right, so that makes a pool of two yellow, two purple, and three blue. To which I got three advantages, one triumph, and two failures. [laugh]

Nick: Uhhh. So that means that you fail. You do not knock this man out and he has seen you get tired of talking and just attack out of the blue. This is a man you can tell is very used to physical conflict. But something amazing happens at the same time?

Sydney: Elvira walks out and is like, why are you giving my girlfriend a hard time?

Nick: We could do that if you want it to be that Elvira comes out.

Kit: Yeah, we can definitely do that. I'm good with that. [laugh]

Nick: And as this guy turns his crossbow on you, you see he's got you dead to rights and is about to pull the trigger, a familiar figure steps out of the gate pushing it a little bit wider and interrupts.

Cameron: The door bumps the guy so that the crossbow is no longer pointed at Birdie.

Nick: Sure we'll spend the advantages that the crossbow is not aimed at Birdie and the triumph is that this person appears

Cameron (as Elvira): [flirty] [country western accent] Oh, why hello there. You stuck out early.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Hi~.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Greg I told you - just let my friends in.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] See? Greg we did not have to have this sort of unpleasant interaction.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] Your -

Nick: He stops and looks Birdie up and down.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] - acquaintance just attacked me. I'm going to have to report this to the warlord.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Well, you probably deserved it.

Nick: He stops what he's doing it holds his hands out in a 'an you believe this?' gesture at you that you would suggest that.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] Look, you can't just have villagers walking in and out of here. They're not to be trusted. We're doing important things.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Well, now I'm escorting her.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] And I'm very important.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Yeah so it's not an issue.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] Fine. Fine.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Plus, you know I like them fiery, so if you're determined to keep them out, you're gonna keep getting hit.

Nick (as Guard): [very muffled voice] It's on you. When this goes wrong. You can take the blame. I'm just going back to watching the door. Do whatever. Enjoy yourselves.

Nick: And he very pointedly turns away from the gate allowing Birdie entry with Elvira.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Oh, we will.

Cameron: Elvira links arms with Birdie. [laugh]

Kit: Birdie is still smiling, but it's a little bit more of a chagrined smile than her friendly attempts earlier.

Nick: Let's cut away from Birdie there as she is led in by her strong acquaintance who is a member of this war band. And the Patina had planned this assault - you made the plan last night, you prepared, you got rest and food and you are all set up ready to spring into action. Where do we see the other members of the Patina as they wait for the time to countdown?

Penn: We cut to Marathon's boots as she's kicking up a lot of dust walking through the middle of Iota. She had stopped to pet a lamb earlier that was wandering around as well, [so many lamb noises] and has found herself followed by a tiny flock of lambs all bleating at her expecting to be pet and she is looking very annoyed as they swarm around her feet. She's still a little light sensitive from her activities in the bar, and the annoyance is getting to her pretty quickly. As she's walking around, she catches eye contact with the mule from the other night, which has somehow gotten unharnessed from the bar, and it stares at her and shakes its head almost disapprovingly before walking away. She shoos away the lambs after this feeling especially uncool and continues her role in phase one of this takeback Iota plan.

She spots another townsperson - this one a man looking about to be in his late 40s, graying hair, gray stubble, but what's most important to her eyes is that there's sunglasses on his lapel. She adjusts her gait so that she is lined up to crash into him and as they walk towards each other and she does bump into him, she grabs him and says

Penn (as Marathon): I'm here with an Advantia operation to free Iota. Shit is about to go down and I need you to get everybody you know, into the houses on the farthest edges of town. Okay? Quick. Quick.

Penn: And then she just continues strolling away very casually as this man starts running panicked-ly back to his own home probably to grab his family and move them. As she continues to walk away nonchalantly trying not to draw attention to herself, she does flip out the man's sunglasses that she had taken off of him during that announcement and flips them on to her face all cool like. The lambs have also started to follow this guy instead of her which she is very thankful for.

And as she begins to look around Iota, she tries to look for a spot that is somewhat hidden, but is close enough to the technology help booth that they had spotted during their recon mission in order to enact the phase of the plan that involves her a little more heavily. She finds a spot that she's deemed pretty unsuspicious for the circumstances and we see her flip out a pallet of battle paint from her sleeve as she begins to center herself in her spot.

Penn (as Marathon): Okay, stay cool Gander. Stay cool. Let's get hype.

Cameron: So the camera cuts over to the tree line opposite the one that Emma and Cassidy made their initial approach to Iota through so that they don't have to try to go through all of the cranberry fields again. And we see the rig sitting behind some tree cover with the tarp pulled over off of it, exposing the Knight with Emma running around, busily doing things in the back of the truck as Cassidy climbs up into the cockpit.

Cameron (as Emma): [adrenaline fueled] Okay, so it's almost ready to go.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Good.

Cameron (as Emma): So you just get comfortable. Uh, familiarize yourself. Um...

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah I've used it before.

Cameron (as Emma): Yep.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Twice, under Pallie's supervision, but it'll be fine. It's intuitive. I just have to not think about it.

Cameron (as Emma): [not sounding the most confident in her handiwork] Uh huh. And I'm, hmm. I am sure that the arm cannon will work the same way and be very intuitive. And -

Sydney (as Cassidy): I have faith in your engineering skills Emma.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah so um, but so like I did the notes there on the left - those are for if it isn't intuitive, and you do need more manual intervention with it. That's there.

Sydney: Cassidy looks down and sees a sticky note off of a pad of sticky notes that she recognizes as Pallie's, [laugh] but instead of saying 'Fix Me' it actually has instructions on how to fix the Knight's crossbow gun arm thing,

Cameron: Not necessarily to fix it, but how to fire it and trigger it if it doesn't just automatically connect to the AI systems.

Sydney: Troubleshooting directions.

Cameron: Yeah.

Sydney: For the Knight's newest projectile weapon and only projectile weapon.

Cameron (as Emma): All right, how many minutes do we have left?

Sydney: Cassidy taps a button on her headset and is presented with a small digital clock slowly counting down in the corner of her field of view.

Sydney (as Cassidy): 11.

Cameron (as Emma): All right. [sigh] That's probably - we can wake it up and give it time to warm up.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.

Cameron (as Emma): All right.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Are you uh - you think you got it this time? I don't want to like question it, but

Cameron (as Emma): Nope. Zee-o gave me the rundown. We should be fine. They fixed the issue that I had last time and I actually am able to interface with the software to wake it up this time, so it'll be fine. It'll just take me [pause] eh - two minutes to click a bunch of buttons.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay. Well, [sigh] whenever you're ready.

Cameron: Emma's just wandering around the mech, opening panels, pressing things, closing the panels, moving to another one, repeating.

Sydney: Cassidy is doing her best not to vibrate in place.

Nick: So as you're attempting to boot up the Knight, Emma, for the first time on your own, make me a Mechanic's check at hard difficulty, but you can have two blue die from Zee-o's assistance and training from before.

Cameron: All right, so that's three yellows, two blues and three purples.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: A success and a triumph.

Nick: Wonderful. Everything goes exactly as expected. The mech is able to boot up and with that triumph, Emma, you were correct - the way that this weapon has been installed, it has merged with the mech's system and does work as intuitively as you hoped.

Cameron: Emma does a little success dance.

Sydney: Diagnostics are coming back correctly?

Cameron: Yeah. [laugh] She's holding a screen that's just jumbling out a bunch of data as the mech boots up.

Sydney: Cassidy is sitting in the cockpit of the mech watching Emma happy dance as consoles and displays around her start to flicker on and then settle into situational awareness displays, views of the outside, the comforting hum of the Knight being up and operational fills the air around. She visibly relaxes [laugh], seeing things are working. The cockpit closes around her and the Knight rises to its full height as she stops thinking about it and concentrates on treating the Knight as a an extension of herself. There's no need to worry about how it's doing anything. There's no need to worry about any of the mechanics of the joints or the fuel that had came from the Advantia or from their own stores. It is just a comfortable suit of armor that is quite large and quite heavily armed. And she hits the button on the console to toggle the Knight's radio

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Kestrel, Cormorant. We're good.

Cameron (as Emma): Yes - please very gently step out of the rig.

Sydney: From outside you see the Knight look down and be slightly surprised to see that the Knight is still in the rig and her meditative attempt at settling into the Knight means she forgot where she was and delicately steps past, the rig's shocks move up significantly with the amount of weight that leaves the bed.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] Thank you.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] [laugh] Of course.

Cameron: Emma looks relieved at [laughing] having nothing fall over or anything with the Knight rumbling the rig around a little bit.

Sydney: The Knight starts going through Cassidy's pre mission warm up - so like shoulder rotations and a couple of bounces around. The ground is noticeably depressed wherever the Knight has stepped. One of the nearby trees has a couple of branches broken off as the Knight backs into it without even noticing besides a small light for a proximity alarm that Cassidy ignores.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] Okay, okay. Okay, okay - less anxious shifting. Please stand still. You are big, you are making noise.

Sydney: The Knight settles down and stands with arms crossed in a very familiar stance to Emma.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] It's a valid point and you know it.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Fine.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] You can like do squats or something if you want but stay in one place. Don't hit trees.

Sydney: The Knight does a couple of squats and then settles back down as Cassidy has become accustomed to the way that the Knight moves and doesn't actually want to put the mission in any jeopardy.

Cameron: Emma had been pulling the tarp back over the truck and then starts making her way around to the cab to grab her sword out and goes and leans it next to the exosuit and starts prepping getting into it.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Gander, Cormorant. We're at eight minutes to go time. You in position?

Penn (as Marathon): [over radio] Uh Cassid- Uh Cormer- uh Ca- Cormorant This is Gander and I'm ready when you are. Copy. Over.

Nick: Where do we see Marathon as she's speaking on her radio?

Penn: Marathon is more in town, probably on the building closest to this fortress from town. She's leaning against it in the shade, classic one foot on the wall, one foot on the ground. She's got sunglasses in her greasy mullet hair pulled into a top bun with her can see under the sunglasses, maybe she's got her game face paint painted on. She's holding up a microphone that's attached around her neck and as speaking very closely into it, more closely than is necessary.

Nick: And the Patina prepares for their assault on this former Advantia fortress now bandit hideout as the minutes tick down. Birdie where are you and Elvira?

Kit: Birdie at some point asked very nicely and very southernly to see all of the weapons because she's never seen so many in one place and she wanted a tour of all of the cool things that Elvira had to show off. Do they have their weapons all stocked up right in the entrance?

Cameron: So after Birdies, ever so polite request to view all of the weaponry, Elvira graciously begins a tour of the courtyard area at the front of this compound directly inside the front gate and is walking around, alternating depending on how big the path is, having her arm linked with Birdie and holding her hands almost like an at ease position behind her back just kind of clasped, and has fully embraced the tour guide job. She's really leaning into it. And all of the weapons of this warlord's crew are positioned in a way that makes it very reminiscent of an outdoor section of a war museum. There's a lot of pieces of concrete that have large machinery sitting on them all facing the front gate, but we've just been taking a tour around these guns that are out in the open.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] So this is our "big gun", we like to call it.

Cameron: [laughing] Elvira's gesturing to a tank thing. It's not a full tank for people to be inside, but it has tank treads and like a large artillery piece on top of it so that it can be maneuvered around very easily. And there's a pile of ammo next to it.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Just the big gun?

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Well out out here.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh. I mean - [country western accent] Oh. Um, do you guys really face that many threats that you have to bring these all out? I mean, I can't imagine who'd want to ever try and harm such a good little situation that you have here.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Oh, yeah, it's not really a concern. Cougar just likes to [pause] show off his toys.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] I see and uh, Cougar - I've never seen him around before.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Oh, yeah, he don't go outside.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] I see. More the indoors type of warlord?

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Oh, yeah, he's got people to do that outside stuff for him.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Oh, really? Well, you know, I mean, this village is not very big, so you know, I bet the intimidation tactic of it all is uh, pretty is doing you all pretty pretty well.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] It is indeed quite effective.

Kit: Birdie keeps trying to ever so subtly check in on the radio because she can't constantly keep looking, kind of fiddling with the radio at her hip and just trying to make sure that she can hear anything that might be happening while being like

Kit (as Birdie): So, this is the biggest one? It's it's there's the "big gun" and you have the "bigger gun"?

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Nah this is our biggin'.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] And so, but all of you are very armed. [soft laugh]

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Obviously.

Cameron: Elvira flexes.

Kit: Birdie is going to just assume that clock's ticking and very quickly formulate her own little Birdie plan and look to Elvira with a very coy smile.

Kit (as Birdie): [flirty] [country western accent] So um you know I haven't gotten a tour of your quarters yet.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Well. I'm sure a tour could be arranged. If you'll, [dramatically] follow me.

Cameron: And Elvira does a very dramatic bow, holds a hand out for Birdie to take.

Kit: Birdie takes it and starts walking quicker than a leisurely stroll [laughing] that one might consider appropriate for this kind of moment. She's mall walking.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] Oh. Eager I see. [laugh]

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] [awkward laughing] I just - I had such a great time last night, you know, um [laugh]

Nick: Elvira, you notice that this woman that you've come to admire seems to be sweating and rather nervous at this point.

Cameron: Oh, she's just getting excited. Happens all the time.

Kit: So Birdie is practically leading Elvira by the time that she understands the general direction of where they're heading and is pointing down the hallway and being like,

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Which one's yours? [stressed laughing]

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] [indulgent chuckle] It's the second one on the left.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Great.

Cameron (as Elvira): [country western accent] I've got a balcony.

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Really that's so interesting.

Kit: And Birdie turns away and is hoping that the general bustle of the - I don't know how many people are in the compound right now - might cover up the fact that she is definitely checking the radio for the time.

Nick: Elvira opens up the door to her quarters. You see that it's sparse, but comfortable, and you glance at your timer as it beeps. And we get a shot of Cassidy, Marathon, Emma and Birdie all looking at their timers as they count down to zero and the assault on the fort begins.

Sydney: Cassidy sees the timer in the corner of her vision hit zero, sees the timer on the dash of the Knight hit zero. From outside of the Knight we see the entirely organic gesture of taking a deep breath that doesn't make the most sense on the giant mechanized body that is the Knight and then the Knight pushes off tearing up rocks in its wake from the jump into motion. And the Knight sprints towards town from nothing to a full sprint immediately. With 10 or 12 feet between strides. It moves fluidly and it moves very, very quick.

Nick: Cassidy as you leap forward in the Knight and revel in the strength and fluidity of this technology that is advanced to the point of being beyond comprehension, the screen in front of you that had turned clear once the Knight booted up, part of it zooms in on the faces of some of the town's people on this main road. And while you have the overall picture, you also get a very close up look as their faces as they go from stressed boredom to immediate fear and turn to run for whatever cover they can find.

Cameron: So since Emma spent the majority of the time prepping the Knight making sure it was ready to go, she is not quite ready to immediately take off right as the timer hits. Emma climbs up into the suit, pulls the HUD down and the screens on the inside begin to light up as the suit closes itself around her and the armor that she had hastily dawned after turning the Knight on and across the bottom right on the screen it scrolls a bunch of jargon of specific systems booting and operational showing all their statuses and then below it it says "User Recognized: Homerun Queen". Emma reaches back behind her, yanks on the cord and the exo frame drops. She reaches over, grabs her sword that she'd set right next to the frame and then takes off in the Knight's footsteps.

Nick: The Knight has a much longer stride than you do, but the strength that the exosuit lends to you, you feel like you almost float as you push off with each leg and you're able to almost keep pace. In the distance that the two of you have to cover, you won't be left behind. Marathon from where you are waiting for the signal, you hear the beep of the timer counting down and almost immediately you see the Knight, a unbelievable force almost 30 feet tall moving faster than anything you've seen before sprinting up the middle road followed closely by Emma in a combat rig. People begin to scatter as they see this incoming weapon.

Penn: As Marathon sees these giant machines coming she can't help but be a little bit in awe and the sunglasses start to drop down her face and she's got her mouth agape as they charge towards the fortress and then as they rush past the wind just tips the sunglasses off her face and she stumbles with them as they fall to the ground. Once Marathon is done being temporarily a gog and she's ditched her sunglasses on the ground, she begins to bolt towards the service hub that they had examined in the town earlier as part of the plan. She takes over the PA system within to calm the residents of the town.

Penn (as Marathon): [over speakers] Hey everybody, this Gander - uh um Marathon Messenger. Everybody if you could get back to your homes, this is just a, an operation is going through - an Advantia operation is coming through. Please, everybody return to your homes safely and soundly in an orderly fashion. Please!

Nick: And Marathon as you attempt to get villagers to safety, you hear the whistle of incoming fire and we're gonna cut over to Birdie. Birdie the door has swung open. You've been welcomed into this room by Elvira and you begin to hear shouts of panic from the walls where the sentries are posted. People are grabbing weapons and you can see across the courtyard, people running to the "big gun", as Elvira called it, beginning to adjust for a firing trajectory. Elvira turns around to see what has started the alarm.

Kit: Birdie is going to use the element of surprise as best she can and grab Elvira by the front of her shirt and just strong arm her as best she can into the bedroom and will slam it shut and grab a stray chair in the hallway to push underneath the doorknob.

Nick: If you flip a story point, I'll say that she was surprised enough that she offers little resistance.

Kit: I will flip a story point.

Nick: Probably a little bit of muscle memory of expecting to be pushed into the room by someone that had been invited in combined with the surprise lets you lock her into her room.

Kit: Birdie takes a deep breath and is a little surprised at herself that she managed to do that and just will call through the door

Kit (as Birdie): [country western accent] Sorry darlin. [uncomfortable laugh] Be back later!

Kit: And then run off to start causing explosions, which is what she does best.

Cameron (as Elvira): [muffled yelling] [country western accent] Hey! [pounding on door] Let me out! Come back. Open this door!

Nick: Birdie as you disappear into the sudden action of this fort, your gut falls out with the thud of a an artillery shell being lobbed over the walls of this Advantia fortress. Emma and Cassidy you both see a projectile moving quickly through the air and lobbing down towards your position. Marathon you realize that you warned the village just in time as an artillery shell crashes into the road ahead of the Knight rattling the entire hill and blowing a massive crater into this once peaceful scene.

[hurdy gurdy music swells]

Outro: Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back to MTR 1153, that was just the end of today’s broadcast and we’ll be right back to the music after this little break. The particulars of the subsequent can be found in the show notes.

This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:

Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.

Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes Wasmannian, a prompt game about gender and wasps. Check out faer other work at

Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast..

Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.

And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron, which you can support @ Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.

This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at You can find Arne at

The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.

You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

Until next time…

…Signing Off


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