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Transcript: Season 2 Episode 33: Warrior Women Who Have Come to Our Rescue

A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript Season 2 Episode 33: Warrior Women Who Have Come to Our Rescue Transcript by Cameron Robertson

Intro: [hurdy gurdy music begins]

Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –

Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger.

Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling.

Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood.

Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard.

Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.

Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:

Thanks for joining us today for another episode! You deserve the feeling of being by a cozy fireplace, with snow flurries outside, reading your favorite book with a warm, friendly animal keeping your toes nice and toasty. Of course, it’s still the middle of summer in the Northern Hemisphere and we’re mostly melting, but you deserve comfort and contentment anyway. And if you’re considering my flight of fancy, you may also consider backing our Patreon, which gives you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 2, Episode 33: Warrior Women Who Have Come to Our Rescue. And so...

[hurdy gurdy music ends]

[electronic beeping] [robotic powerup noise begins] Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection. [robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]

[over radio] Cameron (as Emma): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we discovered an ambush in progress in a ravine that Cassidy never would have led us into due to it being an obvious location for an ambush - even if there wasn’t already one in progress - and we decided to check it out like the good people we are. Luckily the group being attacked had a logo on their tank that I recognized from a town we recently passed through - it was for a mercenary company called the Rust - so we were able to figure out which side of the fight we should be on. And we joined the fight and Birdie brought out the big guns, and by that I mean big explosives, and did some extreme damage up at the top of the ravine and…it killed a lot of bandits - and those were the lucky ones… there were a few of them who survived the blast but it… they… [sigh] There was no coming back from injuries like that, so I… did what I thought was right and I don’t know how I feel about that. But we’re all okay and we saved the Rust from a fight they weren’t going to win, so… focus on the positive I guess. [radio static]

Episode Start:

Nick: We open on a small ravine filled with smoke. The center of the road through the ravine is dominated by a small tank that is spewing smoke, filling the area and the woods nearby. The tops of the ravine are covered in shrapnel from exploded trees from a recently detonated shrapnel bomb. There are bodies in the woods as well as the retreating figures of bandits who have decided they bit off more than they can chew. We see Cassidy watching as the most recent combatants gather around this damaged tank.

Emma, Birdie, and Marathon are back down in the ravine after the combat that has just resolved and pushing her way out of the tank with another belch of smoke, is a broad shouldered woman with a blonde mohawk, multiple piercings, and a snake tattoo winding up one arm into her rolled up sleeves and behind one ear. She immediately looks around to see the status of this mercenary company and her eyes are on the members of the Patina that she can see. She says,

Nick (as Kelsey): Well, it sounds like the fights over. Everything seems to be going good over here. Felix, where are you at? Felix?

Nick: And the greasy man that Marathon was next to during this firefight stands up from where he was crouched towards the end of the fight, and he calls back,

Nick (as Felix): Everyone's accounted for Kelsey, it's - what is this like the third ambush this week? We have got to get off the roads.

Nick: And Kelsey, the woman in the tank, shakes her head. She is holding a very large wrench in one hand and looks like welding goggles in the other hand, and she says

Nick (as Kelsey): We both know the tanks not going to be able to sustain much off road at this point, especially with most recent damage. We're just gonna have to be targets I guess. And we can talk more tactics later. Who are you? I'm imagining that some of those explosions I was hearing as I was frantically attempting to get the main gun work and again, would have been you -

Nick: She visibly and performatively counts Emma and Birdie and Marathon with a finger.

Nick (as Kelsey): Three? You three warrior women who have come to our rescue.

Penn: The Patina make awkward eye contact with one another.

Cameron: [laughing] Made even more awkward by the fact that Emma is still in the exosuit so no one can actually see her eyes.

Kit: Birdie as she's still supporting the woman she helped will raise her hand first and go

Kit (as Birdie): [laugh] Guilty. We're four, though. Whenever our fourth decides to come down from her perch.

Nick (as Kelsey): Understandable, you know, you walk into a gunfight and you're never entirely sure who's on the right of it. I find that I'm often unsure myself, even when I'm not wandering into somebody else's fight. Keep us covered as long as you feel comfortable. We're a little busy to attempt any further combat, I believe.

Nick: And the woman that you're supporting Birdie, she has a hand pressed into where the gunshot wound that you bandaged was over her jumpsuit, and she calls up to Kelsey.

Nick (as Miranda/Deathstalker): Well, it looks like we're mostly fine at least. How long until you can get that fixed? We should get off the road.

Nick: And Kelsey shakes her head and says

Nick (as Kelsey): Not mostly fine. Mikey didn't make it, unfortunately. Whatever explosive they had in the road went right up under the driver's seat. Felix if you could help me get him out of here please now that we're not under fire and take care of that while we get the armor fixed that'd be great.

Nick: And Felix nods matter of factly and begins to climb up onto the tank. The armor is hot enough from whatever is causing the smoke and from the absorbed gunfire and explosion that you can hear a slight sizzle whenever his hands touch down on it and he ends up wrapping a bit of his shirt around his hands to keep from burning himself. And he disappears down into the smoky interior of the tank. And you all can see additional people starting to gather around the tank from where they were scattered during this gunfight. And Kelsey says,

Nick (as Kelsey): Well uh, so Felix is spoken for on that one. Unfortunately, Mikey was the other one who knew how this hunkajunk worked.

Nick: You hear a clang as she kicks something down below where she's standing.

Nick (as Kelsey): Any of you uh, know anything about fixing stuff? We uh, we're low on ammunition, but we're currently doing all right on funds and happy to pay for your time.

Kit: Birdie will glance at Emma but let her introduce herself in her own time, depending on how she wants to work for these new mercenaries.

Cameron: As soon as it becomes clear that they don't know how their tank works, the exosuit - you can tell that Emma is cocking her head to the side, even though there is no visual difference from the outside, so I guess she like pops a hip to tell. But then she'll pop on a private channel to Cassidy with the HUD still down so only Cassidy hears her.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] It doesn't appear like they're gonna attack us, so~ do you want to bring the rig around?

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Yep, I can grab it.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] Cool.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] You got everything under control?

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] Yep, I'm just gonna stay in the suit till you get here.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] Sounds good.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] I'm gonna go look at their gun.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [over radio] I'll be down there in a second.

Cameron (as Emma): [over radio] All righty.

Cameron: And then Emma closes that channel, jumps back over to the main one and is going to approach the tank and will crouch down next to it to wherever the internals of it are accessible from the outside. And will pop the HUD up at that point when she's kneeling down next to it.

Nick: Kelsey watches you approach, sees Emma as you pop open the face mask of your armor. She shows no surprise at a relatively young woman being the one piloting your mechanized armor and takes the stub of a cigar out, holds it against some of the glowing hot armor of the tank until it begins to smoke and pops it into her teeth before taking a puff and holding it in two fingers. The welding goggles are now dangling from a pinkie below the cigar and she takes a long moment to blow out the smoke and says

Nick (as Kelsey): All right, well, considering you went straight to where the tracks are blown all the hell you at least know your way around. I can fix a lot of this but there's enough damage if we want to get it rolling again I accept any hands available.

Nick: And Kelsey looks over to Birdie and Marathon. Felix is now climbing out of the tank holding a body that has some smoke stains on the clothes and some blood. It appears to be a small guy wearing a helmet and a face mask and goggles. And Felix dumps them over the side of the tank before hopping down and grabbing them and beginning to drag them off into the woods. As they go by the other members of the Rust take off hats or helmets and hold them to their heart for just a second before putting them back on and moving around collecting any scattered gear, ammunition, anything around the area, basically cleaning the site. Kelsey is looking at Marathon and Birdie and says,

Nick (as Kelsey): Well, you uh, you two if you don't know anything about mechanics, you can either walk the perimeter, I can pay you for that. You can see if any of these other people need any help. Thank you for getting our good lady Deathstalker there.

Nick: She quirks a smile to Birdie. And you feel your patient straighten herself in - you can't tell if it's embarrassment or pride. And Kelsey says,

Nick (as Kelsey): You got her patched up enough she's not going to kick the bucket on us or does she need more medical supplies?

Kit (as Birdie): Well, I daresay she shouldn't be running any marathons soon.

Kit: And she will pause to snicker a little bit because she just made a pun accidentally.

Kit (as Birdie): But I think she'll make it through the night.

Kit: And she's gonna grin and wink at Lady Deathstalker. [laugh]

Nick: The woman next to you blushes a little.

Nick (as Miranda/Deathstalker): It's a nickname I picked up under combat. It's it's a little embarrassing. You can, you can call me Miranda if you want but everyone calls me Deathstalker. If you could set me down on a rock or something I'd appreciate being able to catch my breath if you don't mind.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. Of course.

Kit: And she's gonna help her while glancing over her shoulder back at Kelsey.

Kit (as Birdie): Anyone else need medical attention? I can help with that.

Nick: Kelsey shrugs, looks around, takes another puff on her cigar and then says

Nick (as Kelsey): It doesn't look like it. Hey, if you're dead or dying sound off!

Nick: And there's a slight chuckle from the group and nobody speaks up, so she shrugs again.

Nick (as Kelsey): Sounds like everybody's fine. Or if they're dead enough not to talk, we'll find them here in a minute, but

Nick: She starts counting again.

Nick (as Kelsey): This looks to be about everybody though. I'm sure they'll come find you if they need anything. Deathstalker is usually the one who helps with that kind of stuff as far as bandaging and she seems a little uh, occupied.

Nick: And Birdie, you look from Kelsey to Miranda the Deathstalker. And Miranda is seated on a rock, she is up above where you are standing just a little bit but seems to be desperately trying to look through her eyelashes at you and is fidgeting with her hands in her hair and equal measure. And as soon as you look back, she forces herself to sit still and look like she's analyzing the scene around for where she can help even though she is not currently moving.

Penn: Marathon turns to give her a thumbs up.

Nick: As soon as Birdie isn't looking, Deathstalker flips you a double bird and a look of pure embarrassed hatred is on her face.

Kit: Birdie didn't really pick up on Miranda's change in demeanor, so she looks immediately back to Kelsey and will take half a step towards her.

Kit (as Birdie): Are you doing all right?

Nick: She gets a wolf-like grin on her face and flicks the cigar over the side of the tank to where it sputters out in the dirt.

Nick (as Kelsey): Oh sweetie, I'm always doing just fine. Thank you for asking though. In fact, I'm doing a lot better than this old girl is.

Nick: And she slaps at the tank with a sizzle and a loud bang.

Kit (as Birdie): [soft laugh] Just checking. Glad I could help.

Kit: And she's gonna smile as sweetly as possible before going to check the perimeters like she suggested.

Cameron: As Kelsey hits the tank, Emma comes out of her own little world where she was both looking at the actual mechanics of the tank figuring out how it was put together, as well as looking concerned off into the woods where Felix dragged their dead friend, and then trying also not to laugh at how smooth Birdie was flirting, and is going to put both hands on her knees in the exosuit and stand up and turn to Kelsey and say

Cameron (as Emma): Just so nobody freaks out, our truck is about to be driving up in a second.

Sydney: As if on cue, the rig shows itself around the face of the ravine coming to a stop at a visible but respectful distance. And Cassidy climbs down out of the cab, her rifle held across her shoulder looking dangerous. Purposefully looking dangerous.

Nick: Kelsey smiles in your direction Cassidy. Smiles to Emma and says

Nick (as Kelsey): And that's four. Wow, that's quite a well put together company that you have ma'am. I would be quite interested to hear more of the story. But for now,

Nick: She leans over out of the hatch to be at a better angle to talk to you Emma, and says,

Nick (as Kelsey): Looks like we've got at least one shredded tread and the interface on the inside is completely borked as well as maybe something wrong with the drive train. I can do what I can only inside but if you could start working on the outside, like I said we'd be happy to pay for your time but I sure would like to get out of this death canyon as soon as possible.

Cameron: Emma is nodding as she's talking. Her face goes really pale at the mention of all the internals being messed up - she has a flashback to the Knight's internals. But then hearing that she would be fixing the treads on the outside returns back to normal coloring and continues nodding.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, I can - I should be able to get this attached back all up correctly.

Cameron: And kneels back down, still in the exosuit because it's heavy enough that it's probably gonna be easier to lift the tread around still in the suit, and will start dragging it around.

Nick: Cassidy this is the scene you find yourself in. Where do you place yourself? What are you hoping to do?

Sydney: Seeing that Emma and Birdie are both engaged in helping put the Rust back together, either mechanically or biologically, Cassidy takes the opportunity to survey the crew looking for like potential skill sets, general numbers, attitudes of the crew - like how are they behaving having just been bailed out of what looks like a very scary fight? Measuring are they friendly? Are they looking for any suspicious opportunities? Because Cassidy does not know any of the Rust except for what Emma had said, and is looking to draw some of her own conclusions.

Nick: Yeah. So you take a look around this group. You probably are going to get the best look out of everyone so far, having set yourself back a little ways first. You see, a woman with long dark hair holding what looks like a gunshot wound seated on a big rock whose eyes do not seem to be able to leave Birdie, wherever Birdie is standing. You are not entirely sure if she is even breathing. She is maybe holding her breath. But that could also be blood loss, hard to tell. She strikes you as somebody who probably is not a fighter as their main task, considering they are seated on a rock not doing anything, a little hard beyond that to really tell what their specialization might be, but your brain labels them civilian.

You see the leader who was talking to Emma when you came in, and from her posture and the way she is ordering people around, it's clear she is the leader. With her mohawk and tattoo around one arm, she seems to be somebody who can hold her own in a fight just from the way that she's built in the fact that she does not appear to have been shaken by the combat. And as you note that she ducks back down into the tank, wrench first, presumably continuing on repairs.

You also see a shorter man who is about as wide as he is tall. He is wearing a leather jacket zipped up despite the warmth of the afternoon, has a buzz cut and a long frayed looking mustache that seems to stick out in every direction. He is walking towards a bend in this ravine with a purpose like he's going to go get something that he's looking for. And he has his head on a swivel, he's looking in all directions, appears to be -he's either scouting or is trying to retrieve something. It is hard to tell from this distance and based on what he's wearing, whether he is an extremely muscle-y person, if he tends more towards fat, or if it's a mixture of both. Just a big dude.

And you also see nestled in some rocks on the far side of the canyon, someone who has picked a lookout spot that you would have picked yourself. You, out of habit, Cassidy often look for where the best vantage points would be and this is probably one of the best ones that there could be. And you see a woman with dark hair that's bound back on her head holding a very plain looking rifle. The rifle is pointed towards the sky, not aimed at anyone but this is clearly a sharpshooter, much like the role that you would fill in the company right now.

And you also see several paces behind the wide man, another person wearing biker leathers following after the wide man heading in the same direction. You would assume maybe they left some equipment that direction and they're going to get it now that the firefight is over.

Sydney: Armed with this knowledge, Cassidy walks towards Emma making eye contact with any Rust members on the way but not volunteering any words.

Nick: No one gets in your way. Everyone appears to be busy. There is a very familiar frantic energy of just after a fight where people are attempting to get as much done as possible before the adrenaline wears off and before anyone comes in finds this group. More and more from the way they're reacting to this, you get the impression that this is a very experienced combat group for sure. But nobody gets in your way. A couple of people make eye contact with you, especially the lady who is sitting on the rock with the gunshot wounds since she's not really doing anything else right now. But no one tries to stop you.

Sydney (as Cassidy): How's it looking Emma?

Cameron (as Emma): Well this tanks broke.

Nick: On that note, Emma, could you please make me a Mechanic's roll at hard difficulty? Have you fetched any tools from the rig or are you just assessing at this point?

Cameron: At the moment still just assessing and still in the combat suit. So both sides of this tank have treads?

Nick: Yes.

Cameron: Is the other side still intact?

Nick: Yes.

Cameron: All right. So since I have the other side of the tanks treads fully functioning that I can compare this to, can I add a blue die for my Inventor talent because I can reconstruct it because I can see it?

Nick: Sure.

Cameron: Alright, so I am rolling three yellows, three purples, and a blue.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Two successes, two triumphs, and two threats.

Nick: Hmm, yeah, you're not going to necessarily need to use parts if that's something you want to spend a triumph on.

Cameron: So I would like to use a triumph that I don't need to add any additional parts and can just re-hook it back up.

Nick: Yeah, you're going to need to do some welding and moving things around to get it to stick, but you are able to figure out a configuration for these treads that doesn't need additional material, which is really good because there's not a lot of material around right now. You could also repair it without lifting it because like that's one of the benefits of treads is like you could attach part of it and then roll it forward and then attach the next part because you can do that.

Cameron: Okay, Emma fixes the tread.

Nick: Okay, you're able to put the tread back together, and you're able to do it very, very quickly. It doesn't require any additional parts, it takes very little time, and you're able to do it in the exosuit - you don't even have to climb out. All of that is very efficient. I think the threats are that Kelsey pops back out of the tank a few minutes later to see how you're doing. She is additionally streaked with sweat and smoke. The tank is no longer smoking, but there is not a lot of clean air inside of the tank, it has taken a pretty big hit and it's gonna take a while to clear out. But she notices how quickly you were able to do that repair and makes note of that. That is a good piece of information to have on people that you are interacting with that somebody is able to make a field repair that quickly and efficiently. And she nods with respect to you Emma and says,

Nick (as Kelsey): Oh wow. You uh, you put that together like it was nothing. Do you um, do you need a job? I - we currently have an opening.

Cameron: Emma is standing next to this tank at this point and does the hand clapping together to get dust off of them which is a little metallic sounding as she's still in the exosuit and looks from her repair job up to where Kelsey's at the top of the tank and smiles and says

Cameron (as Emma): Thanks, but I've got a job.

Nick (as Kelsey): More's the pity.

Nick: She looks over back towards the woods. You can see that Felix is coming back by himself. He has taken care of Mikey's body. He appears to be coming back with all of Mikey's gear. He's carrying boots, the helmet, the goggles, the face covering and a belt with pouches on it that appears to have tools and Felix drops that over by the tank and nods to the members of the Patina and goes to walk towards a group of rocks where some of you may have just noticed there is a woman with a rifle keeping watch over the group. Kelsey looks to everybody and says

Nick (as Kelsey): Well, unfortunately, not all of us can be as gifted as apparently your uh, armored warrior over here is. It's going to be a little bit. If you all don't mind just making sure we don't get our asses shot off, I'd appreciate it.

Nick: She runs her hand through her mohawk leaving some greasy streaks in it but pushing the hair down closer to her skull and then diving back into the fray that is inside the tank.

Cameron: Emma looks over to Cassidy.

Sydney: Cassidy has a mostly hidden expression of annoyance of Emma being offered a job literally right there, but takes a deep breath clears it and goes

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well all right, you fixed it. Seems good. Was it not that broken? Or are you just a wizard?

Cameron (as Emma): I'm not a wizard. It also wasn't that broken. All of the pieces at least are still intact. They just were no longer together. So

Sydney (as Cassidy): That makes sense. Good work, you explained something. Yeah, you must not be a wizard.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, no, not at all. I pride myself on that actually.

Sydney (as Cassidy): So what's - what's the situation? Are we helping them get out of here?

Cameron (as Emma): I mean, I guess so.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Is this a goodness of our hearts thing and then we're gonna leave them alone or what's - ?

Cameron (as Emma): Oh I'm getting paid for the mechanics.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Cool.

Cameron (as Emma): Um. Also, they said that they'd been attacked multiple times by bandits recently.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [much concern] Oh.

Cameron (as Emma): It does appear that somebody's after them?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.

Cameron (as Emma): So just for awareness.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. Pulling into ambush canyon, knowing that there's still people that want a piece of them, maybe some foresight needed. But

Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.

Nick: As you're having that conversation, you can see Felix has fetched the woman with the rifle and brought her back towards the group. He is wearing a gray torn up shirt. He is practically dragging a shotgun behind him carrying it so loosely and tiredly. Everything about him appears wrinkled and tired and greasy and Cassidy you get the impression that no matter how much sleep this man got, or how well things were going, this is what he would look like and would be the energy he gives off. It is an exhaustion that emanates from his very soul.

Kit: The woman that's approaching has a weathered, yet perpetually determined look on her face. She's got very light wrinkling in her tan skin, dark long hair that's currently tied back with a green length of ribbon. Her dress is made of earth tones from shoulder to hemline on her skirt that's pulled up into her belt for proper movement in combat. She's got a thick brown belt on with a few necklaces and bracelets, all jewelry is silver, and she's oddly enough barefoot despite being in a not very barefoot friendly ravine and is shouldering a rifle that doesn't have a fancy scope like Cassidy's.

Nick: Felix and this rifle woman approach the group of the Patina. Before we have that conversation, what has Marathon been up to?

Penn: Marathon realizing that the rest of the Patina was working hard on contributing to the situation, Marathon has decided that while her skills are not necessary to the aftermath of the situation, she can help create some goodwill between the two groups here and has been chatting with both of these folks in the biker leathers who have returned from a short trip for supplies. And we can see her light cream pants and her even lighter canvas button up are covered in canyon dust still from her spill earlier.

Nick: Yep, the conversation that you're having is probably revolving around the two motorcycles with sidecars full of supplies that these two are rolling back to the group.

Penn: I think Marathon has joined in pushing those back.

Nick: And as you get back to the group, you find yourself pulled into a conversation with Felix and a woman that you hadn't noticed before who is holding a very well maintained but plain rifle and these two are having a conversation with the Patina. The group is standing next to the tank. You can hear sporadic clanking and cursing from inside from Kelsey as she is working on presumably the controls and drive train that were messed up by the explosive and Felix seeing that the Patina is mostly together says,

Nick (as Felix): So uh, obviously, you've been a big help so far. I would just like to extend the official gratitude of the Rust mercenary company and all of its surviving members. We've obviously had a tragic loss today that will take us a long time to recover from, but I'm hoping that maybe you would be willing to drive with us until we can make camp at least, just, you know, safety in numbers with all these bandits about.

Sydney: How genuine does he seem? Cassidy didn't see the person get carried off, so - she saw him come back with stuff.

Nick: It is really hard to tell with him what's genuine. It doesn't come off as sarcastic - he just comes off as tired and put upon. He does seem a little at least affected by the death of one of the crew, but he doesn't appear to be destroyed by grief. But it's hard to tell if that's just because it hasn't settled in yet or he didn't know the guy very well or he's just lost too many people for it to impact him as much. It's all kind of covered up by the fact that he just comes across as being too tired to be alive at all times.

Nick: So there are a lot of bandits around here? Emma says this isn't the first time you've been attacked.

Nick (as Felix): It's kind of hard to estimate there. There's a lot of bandits in the area, they come and go. Most of them know who we are at this point. I couldn't tell you if it was the same people shooting at us from the trees or we just keep having the worst luck about finding new ones, honestly. It's kind of like fishing. Like is it the same fish? Probably not because you ate the last fish but like it's hard to tell if it's an entirely new fish, you know?

Sydney: Cassidy looks skeptical.

Nick (as Felix): Oh, this is this is rude of me. My name for anybody who I have introduced myself to -

Penn (as Marathon): It's Felix, right?

Nick (as Felix): Yeah! Hey!

Penn (as Marathon): Yeah~.

Nick (as Felix): You're that you're that person who jumped in in in the way of the bullets.

Penn (as Marathon): You're the guy that didn't shoot me. Yeah.

Nick (as Felix): Great. Well, I'm Felix. This is Juliana, our sharpshooter extraordinaire.

Kit: She just tilts her head a little.

Nick (as Felix): Yep, extremely personable and reliable, Juliana.

Sydney: Cassidy tilts her head back as she inspects the gear from a closer vantage point, seeing the well maintained rifle and the bare feet has particular points of interest.

Nick (as Felix): Back there in the tank, cursing loud enough to wake the seven cities, that's Kelsey our fearless leader mechanic and all around badass. The big guy and the other one with a strong predilection towards leather wear - that Jorb, is the big guy. Teno is the one that is not as wide as he is tall.

Penn (as Marathon): And they're they're pretty cool. We were just talking.

Nick (as Felix): Oh, yes. They're extremely cool. Everyone's a big fan of them, even though they don't talk a lot or at least not lately. Um. Mikey is the pilo- well you, you won't be meeting Mikey. Uh yeah. And then over there, on the rock - I think you've all heard her. She talks a lot. Actually she's pretty quiet right now. This is kind of nice. But she got shot, so I shouldn't say that. That's Deathstalker. She'll tell you to call her Miranda, call her Deathstalker. That's - it's a honorary title. She's our research expert. It's a funny story - she basically paid us to help get her to a wild tech site and then just kind of stuck around. We've had her ever since. It's kind of funny.

Penn (as Marathon): Uh if she - shouldn't you- I mean, if she prefers Miranda shouldn't call her Miranda, right?

Nick (as Felix): Sure. Yeah, well, she kind of goes back and forth. But yeah, if you want to be like, respectful and kind I guess you could do that.

Penn (as Marathon): We should be respectful and kind, right Felix?

Penn: Marathon gives a little wink.

Nick: He gives the most apathetic shrug you have ever seen someone do - one and a half shoulders and then he appears to give up shrugging halfway through and just lets his shoulders fall back down.

Nick (as Felix): And then there's another member of the Rust. We'll meet up with him later. Mr. Fitzgerald, he's a character. You'll enjoy him. Anyway, I feel like I've been talking a heck of a lot. I do that it's it's the adrenaline you know, when you get really energetic after a fight like I am right now. So yeah, you interested in some mutual protection? Figure we'll get out of this canyon, find somewhere covered the camp, recover, do some of the more intense repairs and figure out what we're doing from there.

Penn (as Marathon): I mean, we're pretty good at protecting ourselves, aren't we team?

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, I mean, it sounds like you guys are being hunted. That's a little different than idle bandits wandering past opportunistically if they're waiting for you in the canyon.

Nick (as Felix): Ye- well. I doubt this particular group's going to turn around and try that again immediately.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, no, because we were the ones that put a stop to it.

Nick (as Felix): Oh, we would have eventually. Might have lost a few more people.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Nick (as Felix): So is that a no? I mean, we're pretty flush on cash having made this protection run recently. We figured we could pay for something but it we'll pay for the mechanics and you could be -

Penn (as Marathon): Well, if there's payment on the table...

Sydney: Cassidy gives a sideways head nod towards Marathon.

Nick (as Felix): All right.

Penn (as Marathon): As long as it's not you know, we're not just camp sleep overing together. If there's money.

Nick (as Felix): Yeah, then it's a business transaction, right?

Nick: And he winks at Marathon.

Penn (as Marathon): Exactly good sir.

Nick (as Felix): Great. Well, I was going for the soft sale. But yeah, we hunted is a strong word, but we've had a pretty bad run of luck. I am pretty sure - can't speak for our fearless leader, but Kelsey would probably be interested in banding together for a little bit. What direction you headed, strangers?

Sydney (as Cassidy): [on a sigh] West. Southwest.

Nick (as Felix): What a coincidence, so are we. We could travel together, maybe pay you for your time and fuel. Maybe take a couple of jobs but the money 50/50. You seem pretty capable. What outfit are you with? I don't know if I've seen that truck before or any of you honestly, and we're pretty common in this region.

Sydney (as Cassidy): We're the Patina. You wouldn't hopefully have heard of us.

Nick (as Felix): Nope. Never heard of you. What about you Juliana, you heard of them?

Kit: She'll shake her head but she's still watching Cassidy she just doesn't have anything to say yet.

Penn (as Marathon): I mean, if y'all been around Tree All you might have [cocky noise] heard of uh, [soft throat clear] - I don't know if my voice rings any bells for ya but um

Kit (as Juliana): Yeah I'm from Tree All. I don't recall.

Penn (as Marathon): You know, Going - [clears throat] - Going the Distance um, radio show or,

you know, ice derby? You all heard, I'm sure, I'm sure of Marathon Messenger.

Kit (as Juliana): Uh. How long were you at that?

Penn (as Marathon): At what?

Kit (as Juliana): Either or.

Penn (as Marathon): Mean I've been a notable figure in Tree All for over a decade. So

Kit (as Juliana): Oh. Oh well-

Penn (as Marathon): [clears throat] Nah that's all right.

Kit (as Juliana): No I'm, I'm old hat for that, but glad to know that the ice derby team still doing well up there.

Penn (as Marathon): Thank, thank you. Um. Uh~ but no, we we must be um, doing a good job if you haven't heard of us, because that's - yep. [sigh] God damn.

Nick: Felix has just been blinking slowly, with his mouth hanging slightly open this whole time. He might have fallen asleep during this conversation. He's just very disinterested. And he looks over to Juliana.

Nick (as Felix): Well uh, looks like I've negotiated at least the beginnings of a contract for mutual protection, no thanks to you. Busy giving people the hard eye for some reason, even though they just saved our lives.

Kit (as Juliana): You don't need my help to talk.

Nick (as Felix): Oh you're right. I am quite good at talking. People find me quite charming. Charismatic, even.

Penn (as Marathon): [genuine] Very much so Felix, thank you very much.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [sarcastic] Yeah, very much so Felix, thank you very much.

Kit (as Juliana): [dry sarcasm] Very much so Felix, thank you very much.

Nick (as Felix): You're all very welcome.

Penn (as Marathon): [quietly] Was I being mocked there too? Or?

Nick (as Felix): Well, I'm waiting - I'm waiting for the armored lady and the the one with the weird stick to also thank me for my time as long as we're -

Penn (as Marathon): Oh, Emma.

Nick (as Felix): - doing this bit.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh, that's all right.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Emma, do you want me to do the thanks for you?

Cameron (as Emma): Oh, yes, please Cassidy. Thank you.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Uh Emma would like to convey a sense of gratitude and that your presence here is much appreciated.

Nick: Felix registers the very thick sarcasm, nods in appreciation to the tone and atmosphere and then looks around and notices that Birdie isn't by the group anymore. What is Birdie doing?

Kit: Birdie was doing her perimeter checks and a little while ago got a little distracted by the people over checking on the motorcycles and has used the tank as a hiding spot to look at them from, as if she's not quite sure she wants to approach them but is highly interested in them and is ducking around and getting up on her toes and trying to see from different angles as much as possible what they look like. She looks really silly right now. [laugh]

Nick: So as you work to try to get an angle on this person, you can see that the very wide person is mostly just trying to look busy around the motorcycles but not really doing much. And this other person is almost orbiting them, moving with nervous energy actually checking fuel levels making sure the bikes are ready to go. They're wearing leather pants, boots with thick metal buckles, a leather jacket with a double row of buttons that is mostly unbuttoned to reveal a very dirty white shirt underneath and on their head they have a wide brimmed hat with one side pinned up on the side. It looks kind of piratey. And you can see sloppy short cut purple hair peeking out from under the hat. And as they turn to where you can get a good look at their face, they have very long, thin limbs and then you see a very sharp nose, high cheekbones, a pointed chin - this person is someone that you recognize.

Kit: As soon as Birdie realizes that this is who she thought they were. she straightens up and stops hiding and is just going to immediately walk over towards where they are by the bikes and wait to see if they turn to her first, but if they don't, she'll say

Kit (as Birdie): Hey stranger.

Penn: As Birdie and Teno are starting to reunite, Jorb continues to ratchet on the same motorcycle nut over and over again. Just observing, listening, eavesdropping. Very obviously eavesdropping, like staring directly at them as he's ratcheting.

Cameron: As Birdie walks up and speaks for the first time, Teno jumps slightly from where they were working on the motorcycle and turns around pretty quickly and gasps.

Cameron (as Teno): [excited gasp] Baby Bird~?!

Cameron: And goes and grabs Birdie in a tight hug, but not too crushing of a hug, and spins her in a circle.

Kit: Birdie is immediately hugging Teno back and as soon as she gets put down, she's looking them over and she's like

Kit (as Birdie): God you look no different. You haven't done anything different at all! I missed you so much. Yeah - when did you leave the other group?

Cameron (as Teno): Oh, I don't know, like nine, nine months ago? And why would I change anything? I got it perfect.

Kit (as Birdie): No, you do. I didn't expect - you said that you'd never been north of Quirk before, so what are you doing up here?

Cameron (as Teno): Uh going north of Quirk.

Kit (as Birdie): First time for everything.

Cameron (as Teno): Yeah, I decided it was too hot.

Kit (as Birdie): You know what?

Cameron (as Teno): It was make- it was making my hair flat and I was just, you know?

Kit (as Birdie): [giggle]

Cameron (as Teno): It was time for something new.

Kit (as Birdie): Well, you're pulling it off. Absolutely. You're pulling it off. As usual.

Cameron (as Teno): Oh well thank you.

Cameron: A pose is struck.

Kit (as Birdie): [laugh]

Cameron (as Teno): But what about you? What are you -what - You're with this group? Now?

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah. You know, I told you um, I was going up to Eagle Hill.

Cameron (as Teno): Mm hmm.

Kit (as Birdie): And, you know, after Eagle Hill, I'd kind of managed to visit all the seven which, you know, was kind of a goal for me and

Cameron (as Teno): Congratulations.

Kit (as Birdie): Thank you. Thank you. Um. And I found them. And I sort of snuck into the back of their rig, and they just took me along with them.

Cameron (as Teno): That does sound like you. [laughing]

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah~.

Cameron (as Teno): That is that is weirdly similar to how you joined us.

Kit (as Birdie): I have a habit. It's you know, it's - it works for me, so

Cameron (as Teno): I mean, if it's working for you, then go for it, hun.

Kit (as Birdie): [giggle]

Cameron (as Teno): That's - [flustered] okay I was - I'm so excited to see you. I was not -

Kit (as Birdie): Well I mean you know,

Cameron (as Teno): This is not how I thought my day was going.

Kit (as Birdie): Well, considering that you were possibly looking at a total group annihilation there, glad we could come and help.

Cameron (as Teno): [sigh]

Kit (as Birdie): Do you want to meet the rest of my team?

Cameron (as Teno): Oh yes! Take me to your new friends.

Kit (as Birdie): [giggle] Yes, you'll be able to judge them all you want.

Cameron (as Teno): [laugh]

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Uh - Can I come too?

Cameron (as Teno): Um Jorb. Uh, Baby Bird this - this is, this is Jorb. Um.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Jorb Tunnels.

Kit (as Birdie): Hi!

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Nice, nice to meet you.

Cameron: Teno clasps their hands in front of them in prayer hands holding them just underneath their chin and is looking at Jorb and Birdie probably knows them well enough to know that they're trying very hard to not make a face at Jorb just in general, at his existence.

Cameron (as Teno): If you want to follow Jorb, sure. Go for it.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Thank you for the invite. Yeah. [awkward laugh] Your name is Birdie?

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, Birdie. [laugh]

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): [laugh] I get it. Baby bird. [laugh]

Cameron (as Teno): It's cause she's short.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Yeah. [laugh]

Cameron (as Teno): Yeah.

Kit (as Birdie): [laugh]

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Not not shorter than me though. [laugh]

Kit: Birdie has gone slightly red trying really, really hard not to laugh or make a face or do anything. She's just smiling really hard right now. [laugh]

Cameron (as Teno): I I - you are -

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Teno's my best friend.

Cameron (as Teno): - shorter than her. I'm not calling you Baby Jorb. Just doesn't flow as well.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): No, it's all right. It's -

Cameron (as Teno): Okay.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): It's so if Teno and I are best friends, that means you're, you're a friend by association. So nice. Baby bird, nice to meet you. [laugh]

Kit (as Birdie): Nice to meet you as well.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): I can't wait to make more friends. [laugh]

Kit (as Birdie): [voice pitch increasing] Neither can I.

Cameron: Teno swings back around to look at Birdie with just a dazzling smile on their face.

Cameron (as Teno): Yes. Let's go meet these friends of yours.

Kit (as Birdie): Yes, let's go do that.

Cameron: And they link arms and skip away.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Oh, here wait! Wait I'm catching up-

Penn: And one of the motorcycles falls over as Jorb stands up very quickly.

Nick: So you head back to the rest of the group where they are having the conversation. And as you get to clustering around the tank, the smoke has dissipated and with a diesel roar, the tank comes back to life and the turret pivots back and forth a little showing that it is in motion again. Kelsey sticks her head out of the hatch and says

Nick (as Kelsey): Well at least we got this thing running again. Uh, I would say that since you are all cozy friends now - I overheard a little bit of the conversation but mostly just the tone not the words - Felix, Juliana - either you get this fine group of ladies to come with us at least a camp?

Nick: And Felix looks at Juliana like are you gonna say anything or do I have to say something?

Kit: Juliana will make a face, look at Marathon, Emma, and Cassidy and then say

Kit (as Juliana): We gotta pay 'em, but we got 'em.

Nick (as Kelsey): Perfect. Wouldn't have it any other way. You know money, [clears throat] does make the world go round most of the time seems like. Well, you all want to load up in your rig over there? We'll lead the way. I believe Mr. Fitzgerald should be camped somewhere to the West. We'll find some sort of signal, find out where he's gotten off to. We'll make camp and maybe do a little bit of contract negotiations, how’s that sound to you folks?

Nick: As she smiles a winning smile.

Cameron (as Emma): Sounds fantastic.

Sydney: Cassidy shrugs.

Nick (as Kelsey): Well, on behalf of the entire Rust company and our newest fallen companion, I would like to sincerely thank you for saving our lives today and I look forward to a hearty dinner and a long friendship to come. Uh~ hey Jorb, you're copilot.

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Hell~ yeah!

Nick (as Kelsey): Climb your way on in here. You know how to work the pedals. Let's go!

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Wouldn't have any other way. [laugh] Get it cause you just said that? [laugh]

Nick (as Kelsey): Yeah, I know you don't normally pilot so as a reminder, there's a rule no talking in the tank Jorb.

Nick: As Kelsey pulls him down into the hatch and shuts the hatch -

Penn (as Jorb Tunnels): Ahh!

Nick: - behind them and the tank fires up. Several members of the Rust hop up onto the tank. Birdie, Teno looks regretful and squeezes your arm before hustling back in the direction that you all came.

Cameron (as Teno): Talk to you later, Birdie's friends~!

Nick: Felix grabs the other motorcycle because Jorb appears to have been promoted to tank pilot. And these two motorcycles with sidecars and the tank lead the way out of the ravine and the Patina climbs back into the rig and follows them to somewhere with a defensible camp for the night, wondering what is to come from this chance meeting.

[hurdy gurdy music swells]

Outro: Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back to MTR 1153, that was just the end of today’s broadcast and we’ll be right back to the music after this little break. The particulars of the subsequent can be found in the show notes.

This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:

Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.

Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes Wasmannian, a prompt game about gender and wasps. Check out faer other work at

Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast..

Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.

And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.

This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at You can find Arne at

The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.

You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

Until next time…

…Signing Off


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