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Transcript: Season 3 Episode 8: Spectacle, Carnage, Excitement

A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript

Season 3 Episode 8: Spectacle, Carnage, Excitement

Transcript by Cameron Robertson


[hurdy gurdy music begins]

Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –

Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.

Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.

Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.

Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.

Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.

Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:

Good news, listener. I have an assignment for you. It is your mission to make a plan to do that thing you’ve been putting off. You don’t have to finish it, but figure out what you would need to do to keep it from hanging over your head any longer. We’ll be standing by to morally support, by your command.

And if you’re already a hero who accomplished all of their tasks, or you make plans really fast, consider checking us out on the Orpheus Protocol, where the last episode of the Battle Lines arc featuring the cast has aired. Or, for less horror-leaning content, consider backing our Patreon, which gives you access to bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 8: Spectacle, Carnage, Excitement. And so…

“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches

To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”

[hurdy gurdy music ends]

[electronic beeping][robotic powerup noise begins]

Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]

[over radio]

Sydney (as Cassidy): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, we went to go meet Birdie's sister Janus. Winifred has a job for her and sounds like getting Birdie to convince her was going to be the path of least resistance, so we all rolled up to what turned out to be her bookstore. Lots of books, including a couple of interesting ones, some rich people scandalized but, you know, not in the way that they'd actually stop reading, and Janus, her husband, and their kids, including one named after Birdie. We generally got caught up over some tea - fortunately, Vaus had told Janus that Birdie was alive so it was more just life happenings than the surprise Winifred got. Janus was down to help us get into this masquerade ball, including finding us some tailoring help, and then also help Winifred with some thievery? She's putting together a crew, I suppose. At least our piece of the job is easy enough, though I'm not sure I wouldn't prefer being sneaky to politics...[radio static]

Episode Start:

Nick: The Patina has two weeks before the masquerade ball where they need to collect some sort of information to help Winifred with the Knight. And while part of that time is a whirlwind of planning, outfit creation, and discussion of logistics, there's still a decent amount of time where you all are free to do what you want in a city that many of you have never been. What do you all get up to over the course of these weeks?

Cameron: Emma and Cassidy go to the Coliseum to watch some X bikes.

Nick: Awesome. The main X bike Coliseum tends to have lower league races at least every few days, so it isn't hard to get some cheap tickets and go and see what this X bike thing is all about. The stadium is a series of separate grandstands that are around a long track. The actual course is full of moving obstacles that look modular, like they can be changed or reconfigured for different races. And you're able to find your seats and take a look at what this sport is all about. This is a preliminary round for a qualifier, there are four different racing teams out there, so eight racers and four pit crew. Describe what catches your eye the most of this race.

Sydney: Cassidy is trying to figure out how the racers are picking a line because they keep seeming like they're doing inefficient things that are specifically more timing focused until she realizes that one of the scoring criteria is based on the difficulty of the way that they've raced in addition to their time, and then also starts catching when they waste time going up the side of an obstacle and catching air to do a trick, because apparently that's yet a different category and it's not just the race that's at stake.

Cameron: I think it is no surprise to anyone that Emma is mostly focused on the bikes themselves. Mostly looking at what type of bike overall appears to be the desired body type and like compared to engine output. So there seem to be two main categories of bike that are participating in these races. One of them is much larger and appears to be focused primarily on speed and a more powerful engine and is trying to make it through the course the fastest. And the other category are much smaller framed bikes that, while still fast, don't have quite the get up and go as the bigger bikes, but they have a lot more maneuverability to do sick tricks, and so even if on the flatter areas the larger bikes take the lead, it is very obvious that the smaller bikes are going to be scoring higher in probably the technical skill and in the trick complexity as long as they finish the race. So Emma has gone into doing comparisons and trying to figure out what the ideal bike setup and design would be to have the best of both worlds.

Nick: And as you start to take apart what the different mechanical strategies for these teams are, you realize that while there is certainly a scoring component and certainly a speed component, more than you would expect survival determines who the winners are as the race continues and multiple riders either wipe out or are kicked by other riders into obstacles and by the time the race is finished, only two motorcycles are still running. It goes to a panel of judges seated in a press box and bright flashing lights highlight scores and one team's hopes are dashed and the others are raised to triumph. And while this is a lower tier race with very little prize except for street cred and the chance to move up in the rankings, it's very easy to forget that amidst the spectacle and the passion of the racers.

Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping] Well,

Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] You know -

Sydney (as Cassidy): - it's a lot like our Eagle Hill motorcycle exercise. Just you know, more purposeful?

Cameron (as Emma): Yes, slightly less gunshots. Um, but you know, this is this is about the level of extreme spectacle, carnage, excitement, all of the above that I was expecting based off of the billboard that we saw.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. Good advertising.

Cameron (as Emma): Mhm. I don't quite understand the rules on when it's okay to knock over the other riders and when it does not.

Sydney (as Cassidy): No yeah, I think it's going to be a little bit of learning to really appreciate what's going on.

Cameron (as Emma): The bike - the bikes are cool, though.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. I mean, maybe we can get really bored and put one of ours in.

Cameron (as Emma): Mmm. Hm. [doubtful mechanic noises] If we, if it was necessary, we could. I think I would rather start with a slightly smaller bike.

Sydney (as Cassidy): That's fair.

Cameron (as Emma): Because I wouldn't, I wouldn't trust the one we got from the Rust and ours is just a little large.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah. Too hard to be maneuverable.

Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.

Sydney (as Cassidy): It's good for cruising, but

Cameron (as Emma): Mhm. Yep and comfortable to drive, but too big a target, I think for this.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.

Cameron (as Emma): And also, you're not going to get much air because of how heavy it is.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, well,

Cameron (as Emma): So

Sydney (as Cassidy): I've got an appointment back to go get a tattoo later, so I need to get going. But

Cameron (as Emma): Okay.

Sydney (as Cassidy): You going to try and see if you can make friends with the mechanic crews?

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah~. I think I'm just gonna go go wander, see if I can provide any useful guidance from the sidelines to make people like me so that they will talk to me.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah.

Cameron (as Emma): With with my immense motorcycle knowledge, you know.

Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, you've been maintaining two for like a while.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, but we have been using them a ton. [laughing] It's not like I'm having to do a ton of work on them.

Sydney (as Cassidy): That's how you know you're a good mechanic, Emma.

Cameron (as Emma): Okay, but it means that I'm not - I'm not getting as much practice and experience on them because they're not breaking.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, then. Well, you'll just have to make friends and then help them put things back together.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh, that's my plan. Yeah, I -

Sydney (as Cassidy): I believe in you. You got this.

Cameron (as Emma): I think I saw as we were coming in on some of the lower levels I saw they had a bunch of the garages down there. So I think I'm gonna go see if any, any of the teams are hanging out in them. Seems like a slightly less chaotic atmosphere to do it than out here.

Cameron: And Emma gestures towards the very excited crowds surrounding them.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, it looks like I guess before the next race, maybe there's a coliseum match.

Nick: As the two of you stand, Cassidy to leave and Emma to find her way down to the lower garages, an announcer comes over the PA system and says

Nick (as Announcer): In between races today we have a Judgment. Junior Lieutenant Counselor Steve Filperson was accused of embezzling and his funds frozen.

Nick: And the audience all

[crowd booing]

Nick (as Announcer): Because Steve here has no funds to hire a champion he's forced to defend himself in trial by combat. And today as a special, special gift for a subcircuit Coliseum Judgment, we have the First Sword of Sasnak Traveling, Gwendolyn Rosenthal.

Nick: There is raucous cheering. We see on a far side of the arena a metal gate is opened and a thin man who looks terrified - he is wearing formal robes with a metal helmet that is too big to fit him and holding what looks like a short sword and a buckler about the size of a dinner plate as a shield, and he is stumbling through the thick dirt of the arena towards the center. And out of the center of the arena a dias rises from below with fog and lighting effects and standing in the center of this, like an avenging angel of death, is Gwendolyn. What is she wearing for this combat Judgment?

Penn: Gwendolyn, as the dias rises up, has her sword slung over her shoulder and she's wearing an armor that has thick metal around the shoulders that makes them puff up a little bit more and draping from the shoulders is a flowing red cape, and the rest of the armor is a similar metal sheen that hugs a little tighter with red cloth accents woven in between plating.

Nick (as Announcer): The fight does not take long. This accused embezzler swings the sword a few times and it quickly becomes apparent that he's not sure what the reach is.

Penn (as Gwendolyn): You should have gotten out of the game sooner, Steve. You could have come to me.

Nick (as Steve Filperson): Yeah, but I'm here now and the only way to live is to ventilate you, so no hard feelings.

Penn (as Gwendolyn): [derisive laugh]

Nick: As he makes a quick lunge that does not break through your guard.

Penn: Gwendolyn parries, almost unmoving with most of her body, and with this parry, twists the sword out of Steve's hand and flips it away and puts the sword under his chin to tilt it up.

Nick: He blanches and his eyes are wide. Makes a move like he's going to try to slap the sword away and then at Gwendolyn's insistent push, goes still and drops his weapons and raises his hands.

Penn (as Gwendolyn): Welp. [sigh] Let's see what the people think.

Penn: And Gwendolyn lifts her arm up as she's done many times before, and gives the middling thumb waiting to see what the crowd response is.

Nick (as Announcer): Roll me a Fortune die, somebody.

Cameron: I have some.

Nick: Yeah.

Cameron: Okay. One Misfortune.

Nick (as Announcer): The crowd is a little divided, but overall, Gwendolen, you can hear them all yelling for blood. This guy stole money from city funds that normally would benefit X bike watchers, and few people here want Steve to walk out of here without being an example.

Penn: Gwendolyn without changing her stance and letting her thumb start to drift down she says,

Penn (as Gwendolyn): Okay, this is gonna hurt. Make it look good. Don't make me regret this.

Nick (as Steve Filperson): I didn't - I didn't do anything. I'm being framed.

Penn (as Gwendolyn): Steve - this is this is just how it works. Even - I, you know, I like you and oop, sorry. I gotta adjust the thumb real quick. Look the crowd. Yep. Okay. Okay. Like I said, I like you. I don't think it was all that bad, but this is how the system works. But I've got you an out just like I said, this is gonna hurt. Just play along. Okay?

Nick (as Steve Filperson): Oh.

Penn (as Gwendolyn): See my eyes?

Nick (as Steve Filperson): Okay. Yeah, I see. Okay.

Penn (as Gwendolyn): Okay.

Penn: And Gwendolyn tips his chin up and swipes at him, where it looks like close enough that it could have been his throat but instead is down his collarbone, leaving a still quite a big gash as she's let her thumb drift down.

Nick (as Announcer): And with a high pitched shriek, he falls to the ground, blood splattering into the dirt, and is immediately unconscious.

Penn: And Gwendolyn halfheartedly lifts her hands.

Nick: The crowd goes wild chanting Gwendolyn's name and some orderlies ride your elevator up to grab Steve and drag him to the elevator to be brought below before the next race.

Penn: Gwendolyn drops just a tiny little gadget into Steve's hand as the orderlies take him away.

Nick (as Surge): And the announcer declares

Nick (as Announcer): Gwendolyn has served justice for our great city yet again.

Nick: And so Emma, you hear the cheers of the crowd and what seems to have been a summary judgment by combat as you make it to the garage area. What are you looking for and what grabs your attention?

Cameron (as Emma): This whole city's fucking weird.

Cameron: Emma is wandering along this corridor? - big open air space underneath the stands where they have garages situated for the teams that have enough respect and hype and clout to have been given one and is just looking for any that have the garage door open and like have people working inside, primarily trying to find ones that are not just full of dudes.

Nick: Yeah most of the garages are closed. This area seems to have a garage space for every active team in the city, so it is rows and rows of spaces with garage doors locked down, but while the majority are closed, many are open because there are multiple teams racing today. And at a glance as you walk through, you are able to find a team that does not appear to just be full of dudes. What you notice first is that they are working on the smallest X bike that you have seen so far, both in the X bike competition and in the garages that you've seen. It is a unpainted gun metal with what looks to be pretty advanced engine parts, but it is sleek, it is compact, and there are a couple of mechanics poking away at it and appearing to be doing a engine output test. So you were drawn by the sound of a high efficiency motor being revved at as many RPMs as it could sustain.

Cameron: Emma having identified this group of not all dudes approaches this garage and makes sure not to step into it - does not enter their space at all, but as she gets closer, make sure that they're not doing anything that her speaking would potentially startle them into causing an issue and having confirmed that it is safe, she'll say,

Cameron (as Emma): Wow, that bikes beautiful.

Cameron: And I would like to make a Mechanics check to notice something wrong with the bike that I can point out to them to have them fix it.

Nick (as Announcer): Yes, absolutely. Go ahead and roll the an average Mechanics check because they're in the middle of stripping the bike down, so there's probably a lot that is visible that you could suggest.

Cameron: May I have a blue die for my Inventor talent due to the vast amount of motorcycle knowledge that Cassidy said I have?

Nick: Sure.

Cameron: Thank you. So for this Mechanics check, I am rolling three yellows, a green, a blue, and two purples.

[dice rolling]

Cameron: Three successes, two advantages.

Nick (as Announcer): Yes, I will say what those successes you definitely notice something that you can suggest is wrong with the bike that could be easily fixed. With those advantages, it is not something that they had gotten around to looking at yet so it will be helpful and a pleasant surprise to them when you point that out.

Kit: The mechanic working on the bike glances up at Emma before her eyes return to her work and then she looks back up and is pleasantly surprised to see that someone complimenting her work is approaching her shop.

Kit (as Audrey): Oh uh, thank you.

Kit: And she looks back down and goes back to her work. She's wearing the typical coveralls in a very dark navy blue and a little tag on the left side of her chest says Audrey on it.

Nick: The other mechanic in this shop is wearing full coveralls with the collar flipped up to cover the neck and a shapeless overlarge beanie that is sagging down over their ears and covering part of their face and they blow it out of the way and say

Nick (as Surge): Yeah, it's a it's a great bike and the spark plugs are misfiring. We're trying to get the timing sequencing down, so if you could just give us a second please. Audrey [snaps] focus. Focus, look, look, look, it's off, the sequencing is off again. You let go. You let that bolt get loose. Focus.

Kit (as Audrey): Thanks.

Cameron: Emma stands patiently watching them get everything back under control. And while doing so is taking a closer look at the bike, still not stepping into the garage, remaining a safe distance away - non threatening distance away.

Nick (as Announcer): And it doesn't take long for the two of them to finish their task they're on and the other mechanic pulls a wire loose and the motorcycle putters to a stop and they look up and smile widely at you. There is engine grease along one side of their face and their coveralls look like it had a nametag that's been ripped off and then just has a frowny face stitched into the lapel instead.

Kit: Now you can get a better look at Audrey and she's lifting the goggles that she was wearing to protect her face during her work, she's got bright blue eyes, and a ton of freckles on her pretty round face and dish blonde hair that's pulled back into a braided ponytail to keep it all away from the machinery.

Kit (as Audrey): Do you work on bikes often? Are you are you interested in that? Uh~

Kit: She's sort of leaning towards Emma a little.

Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, not not at not at this level of performance bikes, but we have a couple of just cruisers. Um uh, your your brake rods cracked back here.

Kit: Audrey's face falls just a little bit and her cheeks burn red enough to make some of the freckles disappear on her cheeks. And she'll come around to see from Emma's angle and goes

Kit (as Audrey): Oh! Oh, it is. Yeah. Oh, well. Thank you. Thanks for for catching that. What's what's your what's your name?

Cameron (as Emma): Hi. I'm Emma.

Kit (as Audrey): It's good to meet you, Emma. Ni-nice catch. I'm Audrey.

Cameron (as Emma): Nice to meet you, Audrey.

Nick: While they're having that conversation, Surge rolls their eyes and pulls their beanie off of their head and they rub at their shaved head and say

Nick (as Surge): [sigh] That rider did a lot of damage and I don't think it was worth it. I mean, he was cheap, but look at all the parts we're having to replace now. Like, sure he broke a collarbone,

Cameron (as Emma): Oof.

Nick (as Surge): - but you also broke our break rods. I think we should go with somebody else next time.

Kit (as Audrey): This is uh, my crewmate Surge.

Cameron (as Emma): Hi Surge.

Kit (as Audrey): Yeah.

Nick (as Surge): Hi there. You can call me frowny face. That's what it says on my uniform.

Kit (as Audrey): I wrote it there.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh, okay.

Nick (as Surge): I'm really very nice. I'm a nurturing person.

Kit (as Audrey): [quietly] No they're not.

Nick: And Surge throws an elbow towards Audrey.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh I can tell. I'm feeling a lot of love and compassion coming out of this garage.

Kit (as Audrey): Oh, yeah, it's great.

Nick (as Surge): Yep, that's me.

Kit (as Audrey): Yep. The mix love and compassion and friendship anyways. Yeah, no, I think that, uh, that that guy totally messed up our shit. But look, I mean, we got - I mean, we we caught it. So that's good. Right?

Nick (as Surge): Yeah. Although I would say a good rider probably should - it shouldn't matter because they shouldn't be using the brakes at all right? Only gas~.

Kit (as Audrey): Well~...

Cameron (as Emma): I mean, until the end of the race.

Kit (as Audrey): [laugh]

Cameron (as Emma): Or any turns.

Nick (as Surge): Mmmmm.

Kit (as Audrey): Emma's got a good point, Surge.

Nick (as Surge): Maybe.

Cameron (as Emma): And any tricks you're doing too you probably want to have a bit of control with your speed going into it. [laughing]

Nick (as Surge): Ehhhhh

Cameron (as Emma): I'm assuming that this one can do some fun tricks with the size of it.

Nick (as Surge): Yeah, clearly I'm not a rider. Look, we have to swap out the suspension on this puppy after the last guy did a just a swan dive from way too high and that's the kind of job that needs extra hands. How are you with compressing shocks so that we can swap them out? Want to help?

Cameron (as Emma): I've got hands.

Nick (as Surge): All right. Let's do it. Be careful though because once we release them, it is sort of like a kinetic bomb. But you said you've done this before. You know how it works.

Cameron (as Emma): Oh yeah, yeah.

Nick (as Surge): Great. Great. No problem. It's all good.

Kit (as Audrey): I'll get you some gloves and some goggles.

Cameron (as Emma): Thank you.

Nick (as Surge): Pssh.

Cameron: Emma looks very successful.

Nick: Surge makes a disbelieving noise at gloves and goggles says

Nick (as Surge): Calluses and safety squints.

Nick: And they go towards the front and are working on getting the bike started again while squinting their eyes in the most safe manner possible.

Kit: Audrey is just happy to have someone who seems really nice and positive in the space.

Nick: We leave Emma with her new mechanic friends and just a couple of streets away, Cassidy you are headed to get a new tattoo.

Sydney: So Cassidy followed Vaus' recommendation for the tattoo parlor called Beyond Skin. Had checked it out a couple of days earlier and gotten an appointment. But the wait time wasn't too long, so she heads into the parlor armed with her journal of recent wildlife sightings.

Nick: The tattoo parlor is a small room tucked into the back of a shop that sells antiques. It's obvious that this artist is renting out just a little bit of space where they can do their job. The area is divided off with opaque screens with intricate beadwork and there is a large died silk hanging from the ceiling that gives the light a cool blue air about it. Inside this separated space there is a comfortable chair and a table and an artist that clearly has been doing this for a long time. They are covered almost entirely in tattoos. Most of the tattoos are of wildlife and as you look closer, the geometric patterns are actually showing a food web of what eats what and it seems to change regions on different parts of their body that's visible. They're wearing a tank top and long shorts with lots of pockets and they have large gauges in their ears that are glowing slightly in the light and their sclera are tattooed bright red, which would normally look demonic and scary, but on them looks welcoming somehow. It's kind of surprising. They pull it off.

Sydney: Cassidy gets to work with the artist going through a couple of sketches and then deciding on the orange flowers that were at Camden's maybe curated, maybe wild butterfly garden outside of French Lick and gets lost in the feeling of being tattooed as the artist gets to work on her back on the side opposite from the still fresh but starting to not be so noticeable gunshot wound on her left shoulder.

Nick: The artist is efficient and quick and surprisingly gentle and does great work.

Penn: We see the lobby of a very clean, very industrial premium athletic facility as Marathon comes walking back out into the lobby, towel around her neck and spraying water into her face and says bye to the desk person by name, already trying to become very familiar with this facility even though she's currently on the one week free trial. And as she re-enters the plaza of one of the nicer districts, we see Marathon pull a small spiral bound notebook out of her back pocket that has a little checklist made with bumpy handwriting, and we see her mark a little check next to 'Find the gym' and there's a little checklist of city adventures for her as she slips the notebook along with her pen back into her back pocket and enthusiastically steps forward.

Nick: Some days pass after the Patina continues with their preparation, Emma spends time with the X bike mechanics, Marathon continues her one week free trial and exploring the city, and the rest of the group site sees and runs errands and Birdie you have contrived to find some time to yourself in the storage container where the Patina has been staying. You invited Janus to join you and Vaus and lured Winifred here with a promise to discuss the job to come and some strategy and for the first time in who knows how long, you've managed to get the two of them into the same room.

Sydney: Winifred walks in the door going

Sydney (as Winifred): Alright Birdie, let's get down to business. I don't have a huge amount of time. Um.

Kit: Birdie is sitting on the couch. Her joint pain hasn't been great since coming back to Sasnak because of how bad the air quality is and all of the stair climbing and general walking they've been having to do the last week, and she looks up at Winifred a little guiltily because directly next to her are both Vaus and Janus sipping tea and making casual conversation while they were all obviously waiting for Winifed to get there.

Sydney: Winifred today has switched where the leather in the outfit is and instead of denim pants, it's now leather pants and instead of a leather jacket, it's now a denim jacket but it's still mainly black with the dark red accents of her lips and her nails and her hair is just down and loose.

Kit (as Birdie): About that. Um.

Cameron (as Janus): I hear we're doing a job.

Sydney (as Winifred): Yes, we're planning a job.

Cameron: Janus sets down her tea as Winifred entered to prepare herself for potentially any emotional flare ups, we'll say, that occur. She has on wide black slacks with another pair of very high heels and is wearing a white soft lacy blouse and has her hair up in the same bun. But looks like she should be teaching kindergarten.

Cameron (as Janus): Would you like some tea?

Sydney (as Winifred): I don't know if we have time to work out a bunch of family problems over my lunch break.

Cameron (as Janus): Would you like some tea?

Sydney: Winifred closes her eyes.

Sydney (as Winifred): Sure.

Sydney: And takes a seat at the table.

Cameron: Janus takes the other empty cup that sitting next to the three Foundling siblings who were lying in wait for Winifred and picks up a teapot and pours Winifred a cup and hands it over.

Kit: Vaus waves just once.

Sydney: And Winifred waves back just once.

Kit (as Birdie): I didn't -

Cameron: Janus is just looking patiently at Winifred exercising like her mom patience.

Sydney (as Winifred): Are we planning? Birdie?

Kit (as Birdie): No, we're not. Why - why haven't you guys been seeing each other? [sounds a bit heartbroken]

Sydney (as Winifred): We have. We've been polite.

Kit (as Birdie): You know that's not what I mean.

Cameron (as Janus): We have seen each other, in passing. [sigh]

Sydney (as Winifred): You always come by the house when I'm not there. It's not my fault.

Cameron (as Janus): You work all the time.

Sydney (as Winifred): Yes. Then wait for me.

Cameron (as Janus): I have responsibilities at home I have to get home to.

Sydney (as Winifred): I have responsibilities at work that I have to be at work for.

Cameron (as Janus): We've invited you to family dinner.

Sydney (as Winifred): And your family dinner is in the middle of one of my shifts that I can't get out of.

Cameron: Then tell us that and we can move it. [duh]

Sydney (as Winifred): Well everyone else can already make it.

Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, but you can't.

Sydney (as Cassidy): Vaus I hear you told Janus that Birdie was still alive.

Kit: Vaus looks over the rim of their mug of tea while very calmly and slowly taking a sip, and then puts it down and nods.

Sydney (as Winifred): See we're all on such good terms with each other, Birdie.

Kit (as Birdie): [I'm sorry?

Cameron (as Janus): Don't - don't say it like it's her fault.

Kit (as Birdie): [voice wobbly] I I barely got through to Vaus when I was in Eagle Hill. And even then it was for a minute, maybe. So, whatever -

Sydney (as Winifred): I mean, I'm not blaming you for that. You show up here and I'm happy to see you're not dead, but it doesn't fix seven years. And we know Zan is not coming back.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.

Sydney (as Winifred): That's a big chunk of the family to lose.

Kit (as Birdie): I didn't want to leave.

Cameron (as Janus): We know. We know. That's not what she's saying. [sounds like it was accompanied by a mom glare at Winifred]

Sydney (as Winifred): It's not your fault.

Kit (as Birdie): So you're blaming each other? What is this?

Sydney (as Winifred): No, I was the one that decided to take this job without having the twins around. And then you and Zan get -

Sydney: Winifred makes a bitter gesture.

Sydney (as Winifred): So as the person in charge, it's my fault of course. I made the decision. So

Kit: Birdie looks between Janus and Winifred seeing that this is probably stemming from something that happened between the two of them, and reaches up to her neck and is just working at the knots in her shoulders while waiting for either Janus to respond or Winifred to continue.

Cameron: Janus had been staring into her teacup while Winifred was talking and begins to have a suspicion.

Cameron (as Janus): It wasn't your fault that the city exploded, Winifred. That, that [deep breath] - that's not on you.

Sydney (as Winifred): I mean, we did risky work all the time. It's unavoidable. That's what our job was. We we're good at it.

Cameron (as Janus): Things just went really bad that day. Really, really, really bad. We had other jobs go wrong - not obviously not to that level, but that -it's something we all knew technically was a possibility and taking a job doesn't mean that the results are your fault.

Sydney (as Winifred): That's not what you said when we open the memorial.

Cameron (as Janus): [deep breath]

Sydney (as Winifred): [deflecting] Birdie, have you seen it?

Kit: Birdie glances very quickly at Winifred and then looks back at the table.

Kit (as Birdie): Uh no. No, I haven't yet.

Cameron: Janus' head is pointed down towards the table, but she has her eyes closed. And she takes a deep breath and looks back up to look Winifred in the eyes.

Cameron (as Janus): So if if - mm. I don't think it was your fault, Winifred. If I if I if I suggested that, I'm sorry. That was not not a great time for any of us, but I've never blamed you. Even if I may have said something that sounded like I did. I was effing angry and hurt and constantly plagued by questions on if something could have maybe been different if Juno and I had been there that day, but I I don't - we'll never know. And you didn't know, either. It's -

Sydney (as Winifred): I mean, I had all the same questions.

Cameron (as Janus): [sigh]

Sydney (as Winifred): But if that's -

Cameron (as Janus): Yeah, but if it was something that Juno and I were super concerned about, we would have told you to wait until we could come.

Sydney (as Winifred): And it should have been fine, but

Cameron (as Janus): [voice tight keeping tears at bay] Yeah, and it and it and it wasn't and none of us had any way of knowing that when that job started. When we agreed to take it.

Sydney (as Winifred): No, but it's the you know, you blame me and it's my job to be the one to be the person who takes it. It's easier to blame me than to blame the world.

Cameron: Janus looks up towards the roof of the container and is trying not to cry, but her eyes are definitely full of tears at this point.

Sydney: Winifred's tea is sitting just untouched, slowly cooling next to her.

Cameron (as Janus): [delicate] Winifred when - we were all adults. Besides, well, Birdie was almost an adult. But we all knew - we all knew that sometimes this city is just built really shittily and things happen. And it wasn't - you didn't make anyone go on that job.

Sydney (as Winifred): Everyone's got to eat somehow.

Cameron (as Janus): Exactly. So we take jobs and things happen. But you you didn't do anything wrong. Birdie didn't do anything wrong. Zan didn't do anything wrong. Vaus didn't do anything wrong.

Cameron: As she is mentioning the people who are in the room, she's throwing an arm out towards them.

Cameron (as Janus): Things just wrong. It wasn't anybody's fault. I'm sorry if you if you've felt that it is your fault. And I'm sorry we didn't tell you about Birdie. We should have.

Kit: Vaus will nod at that and with two of the fingers on their hand that's on the table touch Winifred's hand to try and apologize.

Sydney: Winifred looks down at the table and squeezes Vaus' hand once before pulling her hand back.

Cameron (as Janus): I've missed you.

Sydney (as Winifred): I've been here.

Cameron (as Janus): [voice breaking] So have we.

Kit: Birdie has leaned back in her chair away from the table and has just been listening while rolling her left shoulder that has the scar from the accident - it always gets more sore when she thinks about it too much. And she'll lean forward to break the silence.

Kit (as Birdie): I never even thought that any of you would have blamed each other and I hate that it was ever a thought that crossed any of your minds. And um, [sniff] I wish I I would have been here to stop you guys from losing the the connection that you you you had over this.

Kit: She sort of works at her jaw for a second.

Kit (as Birdie): I was just really upset that I heard that you all gone your separate ways, you know?

Sydney (as Winifred): I mean we're - we have families.

Kit (as Birdie): That's - I know. And that's part of it. I know that as you guys have settled down, that's going to happen. I always knew it would but not to this extent. Now to where I'd come back and see that you guys hadn't talked in months, or that you were frustrated with one another about something that that's now what, seven years old?

Sydney (as Winifred): Kind of hard to forget.

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah I know. [sniff] I just - it's not my intent to blame any of you for it, of course, but I was alone. And I guess I just wanted most of all for you all to not be alone to deal with it because it's really shitty. It sucked. And it hurt. I couldn't come back because I was - I didn't - I wanted to just not think about it. And I'm sorry, because I know that you guys couldn't do the same. [sniff]

Sydney: Winifred finally reaches for her tea.

Cameron (as Janus): That's gonna be cold.

Sydney: Winifred shrugs as she takes us up.

Sydney (as Winifred): I mean I don't think we were alone. Janus had Nate. I had Maria.

Kit (as Birdie): I know.

Sydney (as Winifred): Vaus and Juno had...[fade off and laugh as she realizes she doesn't know] I mean, people were around, but like - Janus named her kids after you and Zan.

Kit (as Birdie): I know. But it's not the fact that you were alone alone, it's the - I wanted you all to be together. To work through it together.

Cameron: Janus is crying now. As soon as she realized Birdie was crying, just tears started silently falling down her face too.

Kit: Birdie reaches underneath the table to hold Janus' hand.

Kit (as Birdie): It just missed you guys a lot. And I don't know what I was expecting. What what what I was expecting to happen when I came back, but I guess it was getting to see all of you together again. And I understand that it doesn't - healing isn't a linear thing and it's not something that people do in the same way, but I just - I really love all of you guys a lot.

Sydney (as Winifred): We love you too. Birdie. We're glad you're back. You've returned from - you know that memorials for you too?

Kit (as Birdie): [shuddering breath] [sniff] Yeah, I figured. It's part of why I haven't gone see it yet.

Cameron: Janus squeezes Birdie's hand.

Sydney (as Winifred): You can't knock out two walls of a house and expect it to stay standing.

Cameron (as Janus): Not to shit on your analogy, but we did still have four walls of the six,

Kit (as Birdie): [sad laugh]

Cameron (as Janus): [sniff] but I know that wasn't the point.

Sydney (as Winifred): I guess we just needed a better architect.

Cameron (as Janus): [sigh]

Kit (as Birdie): It's okay. What matters right now is not that you guys had a hard time processing everything afterwards. Anyone would. But I, I wanted you to talk and I wanted, I wanted this to happen so that we don't have to move forward any more like this.

Cameron (as Janus): Vaus, do you have any words of wisdom? [wet laugh]

Kit: Vaus is taking another long drink of their tea, their mug is finished by now. And they set it down on the table, tilt their head back in thought, sucking their teeth for a second, and will look around to the three of them.

Kit (as Vaus): Birdie's right. I know it's cliche, but past this past. What matters now is what you do with it.

Kit: Birdie smiles a little bit and picks up her mug and will clink it with the mug that Vaus just put down and is not holding and then will take a long drink.

Kit (as Birdie): [sniff] I say cheers to that. Okay. Cool. [sniff] [laugh of relief that the conversation was had]

Cameron (as Janus): Well. If Vaus says it, then I guess you need to give us your shift information and then you have to come to family dinner.

Sydney: Winifred blows out a long slow breath.

Sydney (as Winifred): True. I'll do my best.

Cameron (as Janus): I will tell Maria to put it on your calendar, because [sad short laugh] I'd really like for you to meet my kids.

Sydney: Winifred looks a little bit guilty.

Kit (as Birdie): You'll like the one that's named after me.

Cameron (as Janus): [fond tired sigh]

Kit: And Birdie will squeeze Janus' hand and will reach over to take and Winifred's hand and will sort of tug them both up until they're standing and then hug both of them around the waist really hard, which is kind of awkward because Janus is shorter than her but Winifred is taller than her, but she's making it work and it's very sweet.

Cameron: Janus picks up her arms and puts them around the two of them and as a long exhale says,

Cameron (as Janus): You're gonna find them so annoying. They're just like me and Juno.

Sydney (as Winifred): Something I look forward to.

Kit (as Birdie): I think Lark is meaner than you Janus. But no, Zan is -

Cameron (as Janus): [emotional laugh] I don't know if I should thank you for that or not.

Kit (as Birdie): [laugh][sniff] No, no Zan is - Zan is just like, is just like Juno.

Sydney: Winifred was doing her best to maintain strong composure, but with the breaking of the tension, her dense and well defined makeup is not quite so well defined now.

Cameron (as Janus): Vaus get over here.

Sydney (as Winifred): Vaus come here.

Kit: Vaus snorts and then will get up and being taller than all three of them will walk around and just wrap their arms around all of them and gently will lean their head against the next tallest person, which is Winifred trying to do a pick me up. Vaus doesn't do emotions well.

Cameron (as Janus): Okay. I don't think Birdie can breathe.

Kit (as Birdie): [squished] No I'm okay!

Cameron: Janus wiggles slightly to give Birdie a little bit more space.

Kit (as Birdie): [gasping for air] [laughing]

Sydney (as Winifred): She said she wanted us together. This is definitely what she meant.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh yeah.

Sydney (as Winifred): All right we have a job.

Kit (as Birdie): Okay. [sniff] Doesn't your job make -

Cameron (as Janus): Like feeling something?

Kit (as Birdie): - a lot, a lot of times off her family discussions? Feels like something that should happen.

Sydney (as Winifred): I mean, the city moves. But this is your job, Birdie. The Knight?

Kit (as Birdie): Yeah. Yeah, it is. And I guess it's also my job to pay my respects simultaneously to myself in a very weird way, but I should go see Zan, I think.

Cameron (as Janus): Do you want to go by yourself or do you want one of us to come with you? Or more than one of us? You don't have to pick one.

Kit (as Birdie): [wet laugh]

Sydney (as Winifred): Take the whole band. We'll go get Juno.

Kit (as Birdie): Oh god.

Cameron (as Janus): Pick your favorite. [wet laugh]

Sydney (as Winifred): Well, Janus can go get Juno.

Cameron (as Janus): [whisper] Yeah.

Kit (as Birdie): I know I just harped on doing things together, but I think - I think I gotta go alone. If you guys came with me I'd just be crying the whole time and I don't need that. [sniff]

Cameron (as Janus): Fair.

Nick: And the Foundlings, having rebuilt some bridges, spend a little more time together before Winifred has to leave and go back to work. The next day we find Birdie down in the Guts of Sasnak Traveling, standing in front of a Memorial.

Kit: The memorial itself isn't really a gathering of physical things like a bouquet of flowers or a wreath that might normally be left at the site of someone's death. What is there is something that's a bit more permanent. And it's a small portrait done in a square, about 8 to 10 inches on each side. Sizable enough to be noticed, but not enough to where the Drain Boys have really cared about taking it down. It's in full color and it shows a young Birdie and a young Zan smiling together with Zan holding Birdie close with an arm around her shoulders. And below it is very simply their names, the date of the accident now seven years past, and there's a small section of delicately written statements by the remaining members of the Foundlings about the two of them. Next to all of the portraits and the statements is a small ring that seemingly been welded into the wall probably by Janus that holds the keys to Zan's X bike so that it can never be taken away from the wall. Birdie sits in the small room outside of the coolant control area, and she just looks at it for a bit. She doesn't really know how long it is until she leaves.

Nick: As Birdie walks away from the memorial, even though this space is filled with the sounds of machinery and rumbling city the small area is filled with silence.

[hurdy gurdy music swells]


Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.

This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:

Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.

Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at

Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.

Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.

And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.

This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at You can find Arne at

The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.

You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.

Until you tune back…

…stay bold and stay kind


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